Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

GEORGE W BUSH: (uh) We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to (um, you know) know if the chicken is (uh) on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either (uh) against us or for us. (There's, uh, uh) There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: I did not vote for the chicken to cross the road. I voted for a process to put a road to be in place for a chicken to cross.

RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what they call it the other side Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. >

BILL GATES: I have just witnessed eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook, - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken "THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD." And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?!!!!!!

That was my joke last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Did the Neo-Pagan Chicken Cross the Road

not trying to, uh, poach ;-)

So go ahead. Poach all over me. *grumble* I tell ya. Nobody has any respect for another mans joke anymore. Come right in and take it right off your keyboard they will. They don't let ya live, they don't let ya breath even. Oy!

You'll have to go to http://corrente.blogspot.com/2004_05_16_corrente_archive.html#108507707808334452
and read the commenbts to get the joke...

To mail a donation to DU Underground. :dem:

I have still, after living in Texas for 23 years, NEVER seen a live armadillo outside of a zoo. Smooshed seems to be their natural state.

I HAVE, however, seen live opossums. My dog had a standoff with one in the backyard of this house once, and there used to be one at my old house that walked across our back fence everynight to eat grapes off my back neighbor's vine. Their flood light would send it's silhouette to my miniblinds, making it look like it was freakin' 3 feet tall and 4 feet long plus tail! Scared the SHIT outta me the first time that happened!LOL

:shrug:

The crossing happened at a low-level and completely without my knowledge. The chicken was going against orders when it crossed. I take full responsibility for the chicken, and it will swiftly be punished.

( I love mike, don't kill me)

Randi Rhodes: 'The chicken? You're missing the point! blah, blah, blah.'

:)

42

British intelligence shows that this chicken was attempting to sell uranium to alQueda. This uranium could be used to make a nookyular device.

To get out of Vietnam.