Tales of losers you know?

Let's hear some stories about people you've met that are just plain LOSERS by their own stupidity.

Here's one, I used to work with this complete dolt. He was a freeper too. Everyone at work couldn't stand this guy, he was really slow and never stopped talking...but everyone also felt sorry for him because he was so clueless, so they were always nice to him.

Anyway, I saw him at the Xmas party a few months after I stopped working there (they invited me anyway) he had just had a baby girl, so I asked him, "Oh yeah, what did you name her?"
Then GET THIS...this shithead says "Oh, hang on I get confused." AND PULLS OUT A PIECE OF PAPER WITH HIS DAUGHTER'S NAME WRITTEN ON IT!!!!!.
This shit head couldn't even remember his four-day-old daughter's name. Egad!

You must know some dipshits...let's hear about it.

fine then

That is kind of sad actually. Strangely enough, I can't really think of any losers I know, now or in the past. Sorry. :)

...a story about one. (at least he was loser at the track)

Jerry was a nice enough guy but had the worst luck I've ever seen.
After he came to work with Kodak....(where I worked at the time)he
displayed some interest on going to the Horse Track with me on Friday nights. I said sure and picked him up that night.

Well, as I said before, this poor Dude was the worst handicapper with the
worst luck I've ever seen.
He'd play 6 horses in a 7 horse race and lose....He'd wheel a horse with the field and not cash a ticket race after race after race.
He bet on one horse that had won 9 wins in a row...the horse was
in a cheap race and was bet off the board...the horse breaks out of the gate and the Jockey falls off...in-fuck-ing-credible.

After 3 Fridays of this nightmare (for Jerry)I said to myself..
"mmmm.. I'm gonna start scratching everything he plays" ...so the next Friday I did just that. Sure enough Jerry's shit luck held up and I was cashing tickets after every race...I made about 750 dollars that night.
The next 3 or 4 weeks were a dream....I've never hit so many races in my life!! I mean, Christ, if Jerry liked the 1,2,3 it was a sure scratch!

Unfortunately, his wife made him quit going so my "anti-tip-Sheet" ran out but it was great while it lasted...

make her a deal. You give him $100 to bet with, you give her $50 to keep, he leaves all of HIS money at home, and y'all go out.

That way, he never loses family money (only yours), she always comes out ahead, and you have your source back. Your winnings should cover the $150 easy, and you still come out ahead.

In high school I had a friend named Clint. Clint was a nice guy but always got in trouble because he would do anything you dared him to do. One day in the nurse's office while he and a group of friends were waiting to get our physicals someone mentioned that it would be funny if someone would pee on the doctor when he did the ol' fingers to the scrotum.

That was enough for Clint. He patiently waited his turn for the physical and when he was called went into the room. After about three minutes we hear the doctor yell, and then the door flew open. The next thing we saw was Clint being marched to the principal's office in an arm bar by the doctor.

Clint was then quickly expelled, and I never saw him again.

why were they fingering scrotums?!?!?!?!?

we had 'em every year in school.

how long ago was this?

Not so odd. We all had physicals once a year at school. Hernia tests are part of any physical. We never thought it was a big deal.

and GODDAMN! I'm GLAD!!!

If somebody in my school's administration had tried to touch my scrotum, I would, at the MINIMUM, have ripped one of their ears off.

I just presumed it was universal.

Once a year, a local doctor (who I used to see outside of school) would come, and we'd all line up in our underwear. One at a time, we'd go behind a curtain where he'd do his medical business, including a quick drop of the undies for the hernia test.

Hernias are actually common and potentially serious among kids. I'm glad my school district did this.

Harlan Sanders.

My grandfather used to work with him at the L&N Railroad Yards in Corbin, KY. He couldn't get along with the people and got his ass fired.

Shortly after that, he opened a restaurant in Corbin. The only thing keeping people coming in during the Depression was "Free Air" since everyone else charged.

Well, my Aunts needed money. Some worked for him as waitresses and others were suppliers for his "chicken empire."

Married but dating Claudia at the time, he fired somebody every time he got into a fight with his girlfriend. He also didn't want to pay his bills to the point my grandfather had to "physically" enforce his Christian values about theft.

It took an entrepreneur like John Y Brown---a former Governor of KY---to walk into the restaurant and make a little prick an icon.

I'm 41 and I thought I was a gen X'er. I guess I'm a young baby boomer (my wife tells me with a laugh!).:-) I never fit in with either really. I'm just caught in between those two generations.:P

so you are ok in my book :)

This guy is a loser! ;)

he played the guitar... this was awhile ago... very talented player, playing since childhood. anyway the band liked him and said they would accept him. except this guy turned the band down, and basically said 'screw you, you arent going anywhere because you have no talent'

that band was Pearl Jam

-LK