considering becoming gay, how should i proceed?

i'm pretty old and worn out, but, things have been so slow lately that i figure i could improve my odds by half by not leaving out a whole sex. maybe i could get lucky oftener, it's worth a try i guess.

but i don't know what sector of the gay spectrum i would occupy.
i don't like broadway musicals, i don't do anything exciting, i'm not attractive anymore, and i weigh the same as 3 gay men. i'm hairy, cranky, beligerent and belicose, and i'm a smoker and a drinker.

and i just can't get over the revulsion of seeing a naked man, so that won't help i'm sure. and i still find myself sexually attracted to girls, so this is working against me too. i'd like to become a gay man, but i don't even know the first step, let alone ballroom dancing.

i'm perplexed. i'm hoisted on my own petards. i'm gored on the horns of a dilemma.

sometimes i dream of a world where i would be accepted. a planet where they have 12 sexes, not just two. my odds would be over the top then huh? but, then, i'd have to take 11 other people out to dinner and a movie, meet 11 other people's parents, go to 11 other people's apartments, and try to get through a wild evening of sex with the same, boring 11 other people.

i'm just painting myself into a corner here. what's a big fat hairy ugly guy to do?

or maybe you could get a job in a 'Deliverance' remake ....

i don't like broadway musicals, i don't do anything exciting, i'm not attractive anymore, and i weigh the same as 3 gay men. i'm hairy, cranky, beligerent and belicose, and i'm a smoker and a drinker.

and i just can't get over the revulsion of seeing a naked man, so that won't help i'm sure. and i still find myself sexually attracted to girls ...

You sound just like one of my ex-girlfr-- OMG, is is you, isn't it?

we don't need you. Trust us.

Such blatant discrimination. Shame, SHame ...

mopaul is confused about this. He was the one who brought up this "oh, gosh. My life is so darned boring. I'll think I'll be GAY" stuff. It ISN'T a CHOICE. How many times does this have to be said??? This kind of a "it's a behavior" horseshit is why some are peddling "cures"...such as "ex-gay" groups. I'm sick to death of bigots going around saying that we can be "cured". And I hate the smug condescension of people suggesting that we should be "cured" in the first place.

telling me I'm a "threat" to marriage. I'm tired of little Stepford Wives who are members of groups like "Concerned Women of America" appearing on talk shows warning America of people like me pushing a "radical homosexual agenda" when all I want is simply the same rights you have.

I'm tired of bigoted religious fucks going on television with cute little slogans like "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" when, once again, all we would like...all we are ASKING for...is the same rights as you have...the right to honor our love and committment by marriage.

And I'm tired of opportunistic politicians who would actually want to amend the Constitution of the United States of America to say that, yes, gay people are second class citizens and do not deserve to have the right to marry.

So, yeah, I guess you're right. I'm NOT a morning person. I'm sorry my anger is upsetting to you.

DOnt let the idiots get you down. Yes, easy for me to say.

But you're losing your sense of humor - you couldnt even recognize it here.

Not good for one's health, mental or otherwise.

That's what I'm afraid of. Losing my sense of humor and being perpetually angry all the time. But, goddammit there are WAY too many idiots in this country over these issues. And the idiots seem to have the loudest voices.

I'll calm down now. Truce?

Terry

And, all things considered, society seems to be moving in the direction of acceptance. Gay marriage is occuring several places - subject to subsequent events, of course. The Supreme COurt - the hairy-knuckled-three notwithstanding - has prohibited the states from intruding on matters of private sexual behavior between consenting adults.

There are some people who will never accept it, of course. But there are some who will never accept all kinds of things - racial equality, gender equality, etc. Can't let their attitudes - public or otherwise - control your state of mind.

Most people are still uncomfortable with the idea. Heck, seeing men mouth-kissing still makes me feel wierd. But its none of my business and I get use to it. So will most other people with time. Bigotry and hatred and meanness will bother them more.

in public makes me feel weird too. I make people uncomfortable when I put my arm around my girl in public... yet I often see straight couples nearly on the verge of having sex in public... and no one seems to mind.

Just so you know... it's a little insulting to keep hearing people say that you make them feel weird and that you will eventually get used to their existence. A little dehumanizing.

When I'm with Doug, my partner, we hold hands in public. I know living in a city like Chicago (or Toronto, where Doug lives) is different than a small town. But I LOVE showing my affection for my partner in public. And, for goodness sakes, I've seen (and promptly averted my eyes) het couples making out on the subway. Why can't I simply hold hands with my boyfriend? :-)

I lived in Manhattan for 10 years and never had a problem holding hands with a girlfriend (though we still got looks). Now I'm in a suburb of Tampa... a conservative community... and it's awful. I need to move.

about their human nature at the same time they acknowledge its their issue, not yours, you're going to risk being your own enemy sometimes.

People with strange piercings also make me feel wierd. That's also my problem.

Neither situation makes it OK to comment in public about strangers - that's plain rude - but if you're going apply the same standard ina forum where the issue itself is being discussed, you're going to inhibit a lot of exchange of understanding.

And maybe turn off a few advocates. That probably shouldnt be the case but criticising openness and honesty can do that. They're not justifying their reactions, after all.

I am dealing with the same conflicts. Not just about our rights re. marriage, but the entire state of the world. It's really bringing me down... and it's affecting my relationships. I get furious with people who don't even give a damn. Exercise helps. :)

like the Stonewall Democrats, for instance. Channeling my anger into something constructive.

One doesn't choose to be gay. It isn't like changing your wardrobe or something. It's an innate characteristic of who you are. It's a part of you. Some are born gay and some are born straight. Or bisexual. One doesn't see it as a "lifestyle change". The religious right wing bigots would have you believe that. It's a damnable lie.

One doesn't choose to be ironic. It isn't like changing your wardrobe or something. It's an innate characteristic of who you are. It's a part of you. Some are born ironic and some are born straight-persons. Or bihumoral. One doesn't see it as a "lifestyle change". The humorless bigots would have you believe that. It's a damnable lie.

do i have to wear a sign around my neck that says, 'caution, sarcasm ahead'?

wouldnt want anyone to miss it.

Of course, if you're really that ugly, they might not want to stare at your head long enough to read it.

It is a problem ...

Christ on a candy stick, you were joking, I assume. Why are people getting all huffy?

My 2 cents: I like big hairy men, so you sound kinda sorta not bad to me, mopaul! And I have a LOT of acquaintances with similar tastes, so, in case you ever DO get serious, let me know, I can probably hook you up.

n/t

I know some gay guys who LIKE big, fat, hairy, ugly guys. And, frankly, just by watching crowds, it seems that MOST women do. Or else straight guys just quit caring about how they look after they snag themselves a woman. That's a subject about which I know nothing.;)

All you have to do is hang around gay people and they'll MAKE you gay.

I for one caught the sarcasm in your post :).

There aren't enough queers on Television - not that I'm keeping count, mind you - to do that.

There are a lot of nice transgendered people out there... and how could you dare leave out lesbians? You could always have a sex change you know? :evilgrin:

thanks for giving me those options,......now you got me thinking

That way s/he can f**k h**self and, if he's as ugly as he says, that maybe the only action s/he could get.

that you might want to try and locate. It was very helpful to me when I first decided to be gay. It might be out of print though.

-- Allen

PS: You is crazy! :hi:

'COurse it could get confusing. With those titles it would be more appropriate for the fundies.

See if it suites him? :evilgrin:

6:00am Gym
8:00am Breakfast: oatmeal, egg whites, mimosas
9:00am Hair appointment
10:00am Shopping, preferably at Barney's or Prada
12:00pm Brunch
2:00pm (1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state, and local governments as well as all other forms of world government
(2) Destroy all healthy marriages
(3) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels
(4) Bulldoze all houses of worship
(5) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media
(6) Be Fabulous!
2:30pm Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest
4:00pm Cocktails
6:00pm Light Dinner: soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing; Apple Martinis
8:00pm Theatre
10:30pm "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"

A humorous but useful handbook for the gay lifestyle features essays, multiple-choice and true-false tests, lists, sidebars, and charts.

Featuring essays, multiple-choice and true-false tests, lists, sidebars, and charts, the humorous but useful handbook for the gay lifestyle includes ""10 Things Not to Say When Telling Your Mother"" and ""A Guide to Gay Flora and Fauna.""


http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385474458/ref=sib_dp_pt/002-4284964-7300022#reader-link

If I try being a lesbian and I don't like it, can I go back to being straight???

:shrug:

The issue is preference/orientation versus behavior.

Maybe you would just have been a 'slumming' het.

of course, I call them bisexual. :)

I hate the phrase "sexual preference" used for this definition.

For the record, my sexual preference is for dark-haired WASPs, usually with some facial and/or body hair. My sexual orientation is quite another matter.

We could go trolling for men together

:loveya:

You're a saint!

:bounce:

Put that flower pot down! I was being SARCASTIC, for heaven's sake!

GAWD!

:shrug: (Or is this just a clever ploy to try to get a free toaster from the International Homosexual Conspiracy? Hmmm?)

Just watch the pretty picture, LOOK AT IT!!

Soon your abs will tighten and before you know it, you'll be standing on the nearest balcony lip syncing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina"!

step one: buy lots of expensive hair product
step two: acquire a pathetic striaght girl to be your 'best friend'
step three: have wild casual sex with anyone you meet.
step four: practice that falsetto
step five: stop working those wrist muscles out, limp is better.
step six: (this is the most important) dedicate your entire life to the corruption of 'good decent 'murican family values" and don't forget, work to convince every single person you meet to also become gay.

damn, I gotta stop watching the 700 club.

SHOW TUNES

you can pick up the sexual positions later

or 'Rue Paul' maybe

then read the manual, paying particular attention to Annex A - AGENDA.

ps - you can be bright & cheerful without being gay (see other synonyms).

Watch the movie Something about Mary. Part way through a guy with binoculars attempts to see Mary undressing, but gets the wrong window and is greeted with the sight of an old baked-in-the-sun octogenarian instead. If that don't put you off women, nothing will.

Of course, then you have to work on your attraction to men. Try watching professional sports. Pretty soon you'll find your body type. Mine is Olympic class walkers - skinny with great buns.

He worked amongst several groups where women had bare breasts. He said that he got so tired of seeing female breasts that he decided that he never wanted to see a naked female breast again. Then he started dating men.
This is not how most people become gay but it is what he claimed. I suspect that he was leaning that way anyway.

have become legal in Massachusetts. I thought of course, that gay marriage would make me leave my wife and become gay myself, but to my surprise, that didn't happen.

I will admit that I have started watching "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and I think very highly of the Fab 5, who seem like very fine human beings. Beyond that, I don't think much has changed in my personal orientation.

then consider that a start.

Take some engineering classes and then build a girlfriend. Most of the geeks I know have enough stuff in their junk boxes to put together a pretty sevicable girldroid in just a few hours. ;)

With a home built girlfriend you only have to worry about the math. With a real girlfriend you have to worry about the after-math too.