Cicada Missile Strikes in Washington; Republican Operative Wounded

TRUE STORY:

I was walking down a Washington sidewalk this afternoon when I noticed out of the corner of my eye a big spot in the sky speeding to earth.

It was a large, red-eyed cicada barreling at me; it swerved and stumbled in its flight path, obviously not in control of its descent. It was floundering and flapping without effect, much like a drunken, coked-up Lt. Geo. W Bush* in an obsolete Texas Air National Guard fighter jet.

Suddenly, in an involuntary spasm of self-preservation I ducked out of the way. I felt bad because my selfishness left vulnerable a finely-tailored young man who happened to be walking directly behind me. The suicidal cicada plunged straight into the man's Adam's apple. The sudden surprise caused his entire body to twitch. He dropped his unlocked suit case as he clutched his wounded throat with both hands. Hundreds of pages of Republican Party campaign brochures fell to the ground and scattered in the wind. I turned to help him in his misfortune but he waved me off, muttering something incomprehensible...

There was a photo somebody posted the other day of one 'zooming' the Dim Son's head.

My theory is that the high pitched, keening whine of cognitive dissonance in a Republican's head sounds exactly like the cicadas' mating call. They get confused and dive-bomb Republicans thinking they're female cicadas.

good one