the human body has a lot of flaws. how would you re-design it?

like for instance, the leaky thing right in the middle of your face, why is it there? and the hair that's always growing out of my face, what's up with that? and why can't i scratch my back without some kinda stick or something? if i was designing the human body, i'd at least have made folk's arms long enough to scratch their own damn backs!

and itching. out of nowhere, you get an insane itch and your in church and you can't just reach into your pants and relieve your itch cause everyone will think your a creep. we waste so much productivity time on scratching, i'd leave out itching altogether.

and don't get me started on farting and crapping and all the other lovely body functions, all that needs to be re-designed through genetic engineering and cloning and corrective surgery. and do we really need TWO eyes? or TWO mammalaian protruberences? or TWO testicles or TWO nostrils, ears, thumbs, etc?

and why can't we all have the same design, instead of millions of variations on two themes? i want an arnold scharzenegger body with an antonio banderas face, is that asking too much? and what about weight gain? why why why am i growing at a faster rate every year? soon i'll be the 50 foot man.

and teeth. do we really need all those individual teeth? what about replacing them all with a permanent upper and lower bridge, made of chromium steel? and the same with toes, lose em'. just fill in the space in between them and have a solid foot in front, instead of all those little wiggling piggies.

see where i'm goin' with this?

:P

Give Freepers a brain.

1. I want to be as flexible as the dog so I can lick my good parts clean (though unlike the dog, I'll still use toilet paper for the bad parts...)

2. Both men and women should have the same good bits with nonfunctional extras. That way we can do all the fun things we want and then choose to do the one thing to make babies when the time is right. That way it doesn't need to be so risky and we can still have our fun. No need for abortions either... It also eradicates the concept of homophobia and heterophobia...

3. I hate hair. It takes forever to preen. All humans should be bald.

4. Detachable components. If you're born with brown eyes but you realize you'd look better in blue. Just pop out the brown ones and put in the blue ones. Who needs to contact lens industry, that's all plastic anyway.

5. Get rid of wanton aggression and enhance our capacity for rational thought. We still need to fight at times but at least we'd have the rationale to create a society that discourages, rather than encourages, violence and hate and meanspiritedness.

6. Eradicate STDs. It's ironic that the process needed in order to create life can just as easily kill life, albeit in an embarrassing manner.

Seems I never have enough hands.

for sleeping. Second i'd like my feet to point the other way so I can lean waaaay back at parades.

nt

How would you put your arms back on in the morning?

I'd pierce it all the way up to the cuff in the back of my pants.

tails, wings, fins and gills back...maybe scales, feathers, fur.

we've evolved into hairless pampered and uncomfortable creatures with huge neuronal capacity intent to destroy life.

woopee.
dp

:evilgrin:

Really...why can't we?

That sucks.

There's definitely been times when I've wanted to fake them but nobody seems convinced, for some reason.

If they have good control and a woman really knows what she's doing, it can happen. Kind of a tantric thing.

I'd like skin that you can stretch, hem and neatly tuck away whenever it starts to wrinkle.

We could eat all we wanted, then transform from fat and satisfied to the classicly buff "inverted Vee" look with just a little manual shaping.

As a footnote, we can lose the appendix -- not much need for it, and it only causes trouble.

Being able to lift 4000 pounds would be handy too.

You're looking at it all wrong!

Without our schnozzles, we would never be able to smell flowers! Or really really good farts (our own always smell better, you know!) the ones that smell like what you ate, but warmer, you know the type.

We can't reach our backs to scratch them because The Great Maker is teaching us interdependence! We itch because we need that impetus to scratch each other's backs.

As for farting, crapping and peeing, man don't those feel *good* first thing in the morning?! You want to deprive the human race of a really good shit? There'd be wars every damn DAY! And what thinking human being hasn't let a good long juicy one rip before murmuring "G'mornin' Honey." to the Spousal Unit? Admit it! Flapping the blankets as your sweetie leaps for the door is good for a really fine start-the-day-off-RIGHT laugh! Peeing? How ELSE we gonna write stuff in the snow? Heck, take those three things away and you've killed 87% of my JOKE file! Sheesh! Spoilsport!

Two eyes = depth perception. We need it. Ditto ears for ranging sounds. Two (what did you call 'em) "Mammalian protuberances"? Make that four, eight, TEN! Think of the possibilities of standing perched on the end of the bed and doing "boobiedives" into that heavenly forest of erect nipplage!

(ahem)... 'Scuse me, I'll be back in about... oh, say seven minutes...

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And two testicles? that's so ya don't run OUT, Laddiebuck! As for differences in basic design, Hey, vive la difference! You want Heather Locklear to look like Aah-nuld? EWWWW! Feh! Now, say Heather Locklear or Cheryl Tiegs with TEN BOOBS....

Uh... I'll only be just a moment...
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(phew!... glad I have two!) Where were we? Oh, right! Titanium teeth and no toes. With steel teeth upper and lower, how the hell would we EVER get through the airport detectors? Leave 'em nice enamels, 'K? Just think! If you got a cavity on one side in the back, you'd have to replace the whole darned shootin' match! Leave the teeth as they are.

And as for toes... Ahhhhh toes! What would you tickle on a baby? How would we wear thongs? And best of all, how would we gooooosh through wonderful warm mud or beach sand?

Let's leave the body exactly the way it is, shall we?

Now I do have to run. I have to do my laundry, for some reason.

309

with retractable protruding arms and legs used for uphill emergencies.

and I think new mothers should grow an extra arm...I was always one hand short of what I needed when my daughter was a baby. If it could fall off after the child learns to walk, that would be great too.

I also want my shoulders and wrists to rotate in all directions so I can scratch/massage my own back.

Ears are odd looking. Why all the folds in the cartlidge and why the dangly lobes??? I would go for something a bit more streamline.

Bones shouldn't break. Ever.

I don't want to have to be able to sleep anymore. The body should be able to thrive without it.

it's actually possible, but instead of decoration for men, lactation would quite practical for multiple births. Why should Mom only have the sore, leaking mammaries?

Sweat glands and waste centers centrally located.

The ability to change hair color and texture internally, no more bad hair days.

ability to see underwater without wearing glasses.

gills at will, eliminates needing scuba.

To be able to soar like an eagle would be so wonderful.

So I could close my ears, just like closing my eyes. Then I could stop needing to wear earplugs in order to sleep. It's a simple thing, but they keep putting it off until the next upgrade, no matter how many times I put it at the top of the wish list.

With cool blinky lights and stuff like star trek.

After all humans as a race are nothing but a race of brain organs encased in a large support system.

Humans are just brains, everything else is just a series of biological grinders, filters, fluid bladders, enviormental regulators, etc. All of which has no function other than to make sure the brain organism can survive.

the whole body, including the brain, is just a fancy way to make more sperm and eggs.

The need to sleep...

This should be a sub-routine that can be run on choice. Personally I'd love never having to sleep.

We should also be able to eat once a month and store/use that energy much more efficiently.

no body fat. And the obvious one for a male, longer penis.

All must come to know the Clenis.