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Decided to see whether the TV channel lineup offered a kind of glimpse into America today. Not sure, but it's a snapshot of the offerings in my neighborhood this afternoon...
1 (Hallmark) Bonanza 2 (CBS) News - Florida millionaire sueing Atkins people 3 (QVC) Gemfest 4 (NBC) News -- dental clinic fees 5 (KTLA) Fresh Prince of Bel Air 6 (Leased Channel) ShopNBC shopping channel (selling jewelry) 7 (ABC) Geico put to the test 8 (KCET - PBS) Nightly Business Report -- what industries will benefit if Bush is elected 9 (KCAL) Elimidate 10 (local access) Ronco knives infomercial 11 (KTTV) A cursed Old navy commercial 12 (KRCA - Spanish language) An insurance commercial in Spanish 13 (KCOP - UPN) The Parkers 14 (KMEX - Spanish language) Primer Impacto 15 (KFTR - Spanish language) Commercial for...I have no idea, but women in skimpy bikinis seem to be relevant 16 (KDOC) Advil commercial 17 (KLCS - PBS) Standard Deviation (waves involved in earthquakes) 18 (KSCI — paid programming) Some skin product, an infomercial 19 (KOCE) The Universe: The Infinite (about Ganymede) 20 (TBN) Leading The Way -- some British, South African, or similar charisma-free televangelist 21 (KVEA - Spanish language) That GE ad, with lassie taking on a mountain lion, dubbed in Espanol 22 (KWHY - Spanish language) Pizza Hut ad in Spanish 23 (Discovery) Cousins (Japanese snow macaques) 24 (TBS-W) Baseball: Phillies vs Angels 25 (public access) Some insane woman raving on about something 27 (KXLA — paid programming) Honda of Santa Ana 28 (KAZA - Spanish language) An ad for gelatin (brand name) in Spanish 29 (Home Shopping Network) Diamond rings 30 (KPXN) Baseball -- some team with a bird on their hats vs the Angels. On second thought, maybe the TBS game was with the Braves. 31 (KJLA — paid programming) Some Spanish music video 33 (KHIZ) Ricki Lake -- "60 Days to be a Video Girl!" 34 (CNBC) The wireless networking ad with the marionette (Best Buy) 35 (LACTY) LA City -- how to provide anonymous tips for crimes witnessed, along with visuals related to a $25000 reward for multiple homicide 36 (EDUC) People sitting around a table and talking about classes they're taking 37 (Travel Channel) Road Trip -- Watts Towers (show on Route 66) 41 (KVMD) Fitness infomercial -- "Power 90" 42 (HBO-W) The Secret Garden 43 (National Geographic) Killer Ice 44 (MUN2 - Spanish language) A Spanish music video 45 (MTV-W) The Real World...'Real'???? 46 (Fox Sports 1) NASCAR report 47 (FSW) I Max....some weird sports discussion show 48 (AMC) Star Trek III 49 (USA-W) Walker, Texas Ranger 50 (Court TV) NYPD Blue 51 (CNN) Larry King..I can't watch! His very presence freaks me out!! ("Macauley Culkin Tells All!") 52 (Headline News) Tracking Terrorism 53 (Fox News) Hannity & Colmes -- quick, change the channel! (Bob Dole talking about contrast between WWII and today...Hannity scumbag criticizing President Gore) 54 (Style) MSN commercial 55 (Cartoon Network) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 56 (Family Channel) Full House 57 (Nickelodeon) Some commercial with those two most bodacious tennis players whose names momentarily escapes me -- Venus is one of them. 58 (Disney) That's So Raven 59 (Lifetime) Golden Girls 60 (A&E) City Confidential -- documentary about Fort Lauderdale 61 (GALA - Spanish language) El Chavo 62 (FSE - Spanish language) Futbal...Ok.soccer, in Spanish. No idea who's playing, or where. Fox Sports en Espanol. 63 (ESPN2) Women's baseball (Washington vs Oklahoma) 64 (ESPN) Stanley Cup 65 (FX-W) Commercial for the Miracle DVD (speaking of hockey) 66 (TNT) NBA game -- Lakers vs someone else (Minneapolis?...abbreviated to 'MIN') 67 (VH1-W) Banned! The World's Sexiest Videos 68 (COM-W) Greyhound commercial 69 (TLC-W) Clean Sweep 70 (HGTV-W) Adelphia high-speed internet commercial 71 (Food Channel) 30-minute Meals 72 (MSNBC) Deborah Norville Tonight -- Falsely Accused Terror Suspect 73 (SPK+) Real TV -- someone loses a body part 74 (BET) Top 10 --crap...I mean....rap video 75 (E!) Celebrities Uncensored...except, of course, they actually are 76 (Animal Planet) Most Extreme -- peacock courtship and human male hair issues 77 (CSPAN+) American Idol...no, not the American Idol, but someone reminiscing at the National WWII Memorial about daylight bombing raids (oh, dude...it's George McGovern) 78 (Weather Channel) Bad storms in Kentucky 97 (EDUC+) M*A*S*H* -- with Henry Blake! 119 (National Geographic) Dell computer commercial 120 (NOG/N) Sabrina, The Teenaged Witch...Salem the Cat rules! 121 (Disney Kids) Commercial for Disney movie music compilation CDs 122 (NickToons) Tiny Toons Adventures 123 (GTV) Hearing aid commercial 128 (Bloomberg) Bloomberg Live -- news reports 146 (FMC) Tony Rome (in letterbox format) 160 (Sci Fi) Boa vs Python 161 (GSN) Snickers commercial 162 (BBC) Trailer Park Boys 163 (TV Land) Pizza Hut commercial 181 (Bravo) Made in Heaven 182 (Ovation) Beat Route: Chicago 201 (DHOME) Commercial for Discovery Home Channel 220 (Discovery Health) Berman and Berman -- people at a dinner table talking about orgasms. No sign of Meg Ryan. Oh, cool --now they're talking about sexual positions, starting with the 'Warrior Position' and its pros and cons (going to have to come back to this channel). 222 (Fit TV) Fitness Fantasy...misleading title...no warrior Position here. 231 (ILIFE) Commercial for bluegrass CD series 240 (IC -- sounds like Chinese language) International News in undetermined language, probably Chinese 271 (DTMS) Wayne Brady in an ad for Avaya 272 (The Science Channel) Frontiers -- bridge construction 274 (Discovery Wings) Wings -- icing on a DC-3 277 (The History Channel) Wild West Tech 294 (TECH) Secret, Strange, And True 401 (Fox Sports World) Soccer from somewhere 402 (ESPN News) Baseball stats 404 (Outdoor Life) Clif Bar commercial 405 (GOLF) Women's Golf 406 (OUTCN) Commercial for bass-fishing boat 407 (ESPNC) Grand Prix racing 408 (SPEED) Commercial for 'Quaker Steak and Lube' -- I'm serious! 471 (VH1-C) VH1 Country Music -- some video by interchangeable beautiful Nashville babes 472 (MTV-H) MTV videos -- Madonna 473 (VH1CR) Request Hour -- more videos, no idea who the performer is (so far it's all synthesizer) 474 (VH1SO) VH1 Soul Videos -- they call this 'soul' these days?!? 481 (BET Jazz) Journey with Jazz 501 (TCM) The Singing Nun 502 (WE) Commercial for baby decor at Burlington Coat Factory 503 (IFC) Mulholland Falls 505 (Sundance) John Henrik Clarke 520 (Love W) My Father, The Hero 522 (MYSTw) The Bank 524 (WSTRNw) Gunsmoke 528 (TRUEw) No Child Of Mine 530 (ACTIONw) Yongary Monster 535 (Starz-W) The Pianist 536 (Starz-TW) Little Secrets 537 (BSTZ) The Inkwell 538 (Encore W) The Lord Of The Rings 553 (HBO 2W) Lovely And Amazing 555 (HBO SW) The Ring 557 (HBO FW) 30 By 30: Kid Flicks 561 (Cinemax W) New Jack City 565 (MMX-W) Lantana 576 (Showtime W) Love Field 578 (Showtime Too W) Teaser for upcoming film 580 (Showtime C W) The Bed Sitting Room 582 (Showtime X W) The Final Option 591 (TMC W) Mimic 2 593 (TMC X W) For Pete's Sake Next four channels, all Spanish-language, not availanble. Ditto 605 (VH1 By Request) 606 (MTV Spanish) Spanish music videos Next three (two Spanish-language) and 16 pay-per-view (including two wrestling channels and two Spice channels) are also not available.
The rest: 900, 902, 903, 904, 905, 907, 911, 912, 913, 914, 915, 916, 917, 918, 919, 920, 921, 922, 923, 924, 925, 926, 927, 928, 929, 930, 931, 932, 933, 934, 935, 936, 940, 941, 943, 944, 945, 950, 951, 952, 953, 954, 955, 956, and 957 are all digital music channels that cover every conceivable genre, subgenre, and period of music.
As you can see, there's some good stuff on, but I'm still too often reminded of that Bruce Springsteen song, "57 Channels and Nothin' On."
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