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Edited on Sun Jun-20-04 07:32 AM by Padraig18
After seeing the response to my Mother's Day post about my sister-in-law, I sat down and wrote a Father's Day letter to my brother, Dary. I thought I'd share what I wrote him with you all.
My dear Dary,
It was good to hear from you last night, but then again, it's always good to hear from you. Please try not to worry about Sean's little brush with the law too much; it's not a serious offense, Tony says, and I'm sure the lawyer will get it sorted properly in due time. While it was terribly foolish, in the grand scheme of things, it's fairly trivial. He has no criminal record and his willingness to obtain a substance-abuse evaluation and enroll in a counseling program will be looked upon favorably by both the State's Attorney and judge, I'm sure, and will carry great weight with both of them in terms of how they proceed with his case. Chin up, lad!
While we're on the subject of worry, though, I want you to know that I worry about you every bit as much as you do about all of us. Although I know you and I disagree on the subject, you work far too hard. While I can understand your desire to provide for us all the things you possibly can, many of them aren't truly necessary, although they're very nice to have. Liam doesn't actually NEED a new computer, you know, although I'm sure he's given you all manner or arguments detailing why he simply MUST have one. The one he has is perfectly adequate for school, etc. . That's my $.02, at any go.
Since you're not here to tell me "G'wan, lad!" , and it being close to Father's Day and all, I want to say my piece on that subject. I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons you try so hard for all of us is that you've never really believed that you were doing a good enough job as a father to us; if that's the case, let me assure you that you're QUITE mistaken.
No one I know could ever ask for a better father, Dary. You see, a father isn't only the man who was married to your mam; a father can be anyone, because a father is what a father does, lad, and that you do exceedingly well! In case you didn't know it, here's what a father is, in my mind:
A father is the guy who goes out every day and works to earn money to provide for his family, and as I've told you so many times, you work harder than anyone I know to do that. You don't work simply to keep a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and clothes on our backs; no, you work far harder than that alone would require. You work to see that we have televisions, computers, good health insurance, school tuition, money for vacations and the occasional trip to a nice restaurant, music lessons, sports kit and all the rest of the trappings of a middle-class upbringing. If I've never told you before how grateful I am for that, I want to do so now; while adjusting to a new life in America was hard enough, I can't imagine how hard it would have been had you not worked so hard to give us the 'things' we all needed to fit in, and I love you for it.
Something else a father is, Dary, is the guy whose face you see in the crowd at a track meet, soccer game or play, cheering and applauding you on as though you were an Olympic champion, even when your performance is just average. A father is the guy who sits in your bed and holds you until you fall asleep when you've got an earache or the flu. He's the guy who patiently explains the mysteries of quadratic equations to you as you butt your head against the wall of beginning algebra, and finally 'makes the light go on' inside your head. A father is the man who teaches you how to fish with a fly rod, and how to hit a golf ball and lay out a proper garden.
Finally, Dary, a father is the man whose mere presence assures you that no matter what happens, nothing can go so badly awry that in time it cannot be set right again. After Mam and Daddy passed on, you were able to look beyond your own grief and see that four badly frightened and grieving little boys had needs that no one was quite willing to address. I can't imagine the courage it must have taken for you to decide that you and Siobahn would take us into your home to raise as your own, but you did. I remember you sitting on mine and Sean's bed that night and asking if we would want to come live with you both in America; I don't know how you managed, but you made it sound as though it were no big deal or adjustment when it boggles my mind to now consider doing something similar even a decade down the road. I'll never forget that night, because that was the night I first began to believe that my world might yet be made into something whole and good again, and it has.
I love you, man. I know you're my brother, but I want you to know something else, too--- no man on Earth could have been and continue to be a better father than you are. May God bless and keep you always.
Love,
Paddy
:)
Edit: typo (not enough caffeine yet)
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