OK. You are God, and you've been watching the United States.

Understandably, you're a very pissed-off supreme being. What do you do?

aftter giving all the blue residents ample time to flee. :D

Then sit back and watch them implode.

I think you're probably watching Desperate Housewives like everyone else...

"Nice."

change the channel.

" You are not under me . "

just like I always do

That should really mess with their heads.

:evilgrin:

God is like a parent in some ways talking to kids - don't go out in the street without looking both ways, you could get hit. Now some kids do it and get away ok, but others....

There was practical advice given - and if we don't heed it we might be ok, but chances are against us. What does God do with us? Leave us to our own devices (and the rest of mankind) as we will surely kill ourselves.

Reminds me of physics a little - the further we part ourselves from god the less force he exerts in our world. The less he exerts, the more we do - and taking a look at history, mankind does not have a good record. And now we have WMD on hand the globe over. Not going to be pretty...

be doing some things that will make everyone very unhappy-I see global warming triggering wild weather, the cessession of the Gulf Stream, etc. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if She didn't stamp her feet around New Madrid, triggering off a 8.5 or more earthquake in the heartland. Some shamen have said there will be drastic earth changes happening in the next few years. Hope you are living in a place that is considered relatively safe.

Reminding 'Christians' what I said about not killing, about loving thy neighbors, and helping those who are less fortunate. The Onion did a great satire piece on this a while ago... hopefully someone has the link!

http://www.google.com/search?q=god+onion+clarifies

I don't know if the original is on the Onion's main site, but a bunch of people have saved local copies of it.

"I don't mind the slayin' if you keep on prayin'?"

Then hang a sign outside heaven that says "Gays Only".

to enter."

Oh, wait...

...between the physical and spiritual realms, thus making witches the most powerful beings on earth.

Hey, you asked what *I* would do....

I want to get 4 horses and paint them the colors of the horses of the apocalypse. The get some people to dress up in scary clothes and run the horses through some conservative alabama or mississippi town. There's no doubt in my mind they would think the rapture is coming.

let me know if you need any help with that project...

Set them ablaze and announce that Jesus is a gay man and I am a woman. And man are we pissed.

I'd probably have something better to worry about, like the Platypus Mark II

And to make them declare their best-kept secrets in international broadcasts, news interviews, etc.

George Bush
Dick Cheney
Karl Rove
Donald Rumsfeld
Condi Rice
Tom Ridge
Diebold executives/workers
ES&S executives and workers
The News Media

Then, I think I'd screw with GWB while in the middle of a TV broadcast--make him shout obscenities, fart uncontrollably, moon the cameras, confess to being a bed-wetting booger eater.

You know, make him speak gibberish.

Oh, wait...that wouldn't sound much different, would it?

Maybe a lighting bolt on the golf course to fry his arrogant ass.

:evilgrin:

:evilgrin:

They have better programming in Europe, anyway.

but this country is racking up bad karma bigtime.

It sure scares me! :scared:

"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever."

:evilgrin:

to start

Make repukes live in third world poverty. Make their kids liberal, open minded people - preferably gay. Change their skin color to black.

Increase their intelligence, social awareness and emotional maturity. Force all the media whores, religious leaders and politicians to only speak the truth.