"I hepp'n to know the Barnum-m-Bailey Coicus people,

and I can get you a elephant for a honndred dollahs."

"Vot the hell I'm gonna do with a elephant?"

"He could sit down, press your pents. He could hang your coat up. High. He could give you shower."

"Who said I need a shower? Vot I'm gonna do with a elephant?"

"He's cheap to keep. Eats pinnuts."

"Vot the hell I care vot he eats? Let him eat chick'n chow mein, vot the hell I care? VOT I'M GONNA DO WITH A ELEPHANT?!"

"Vot the hell you yellink? He's gotta a tronk."

"So vot? I got a hope chest! VOT THE HELL I'M GONNA DO WITH A ELEPHANT!? I live in one room. I don't even got room for a chihuahua pup. What the hell I'm gonna do with a elephant?"

"Okay, lissn. Tell you vot I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get you a deal, get you t'ree elephants for two honndred dollahs."

"NOW you're talking!"

now the Good Lord sees fit to take her. The husband is at the bedside, and with what little strength she can summon up she pleadingly says to her husband, 'Tomorrow for the funeral, do me a favor. Let my mother ride with you in the first car. Please, it's my last request.' He says, 'Let her drop dead and go with you in your car!'

"After a little reflection, he calms down and finally says, 'All right, I'll let her go, but it's gonna spoil my whole day!"

...some of the early sitcoms?

He started out working at a garment factory, but he wound up working the borscht belt and Miami night clubs. I don't think he ever acted. He was better known as a comedian and story-teller--one of the best story-tellers of his day. Now he sounds a little corny, but then, those were corny times. I still love his humor.

:kick: