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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:06 PM
Original message
Center square to block.


Peter Marshall: Liz Taylor always wears a locet around her neck. What does she keep in that locket?

Paul Lynde: An emergency donut.
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BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. PM: Your brakes give out as you're driving downhill. What do you do?
Paul Lynde: Honk, if you love Jesus!
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Jeff in Cincinnati Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:08 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Website devoted to Paul Lyndeisms
Edited on Fri Jan-14-05 12:13 PM by Jeff in Cincinnati
Enjoy.

Peter Marshall: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?
Paul Lynde: Because Little Boy Blue's a weirdo!

http://www.classicsquares.com/lyndesquares.html

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tk2kewl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:10 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. LMFAO!
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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:09 PM
Response to Original message
3. PM: Whose motto is "Do Your Best"?
Paul Lynde: I guess we can rule out Jimmy Carter...
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BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Peter Marshall: What do you call a man who gives you diamonds and pearls?

Paul Lynde: I'd call him "darling"!

Peter Marshall: Paul, this is for 12 hundred dollars and the championship. Dale Evans recently revealed the three secrets behind her happy marriage with Roy Rogers. Now listen carefully..."We work together, we pray together and we're darn good..." What?
Paul Lynde: In the saddle.

Peter Marshall: Paul, in what famous book will you read about a talking ass who wonders why it's being beaten?
Paul Lynde: I read it, "The Joy of Sex."

Peter Marshall: What's that thing to the east of Sweden?
Paul Lynde: Have you seen Anita Ekberg lately?

Peter Marshall: Is it normal for Norwegians to talk to trees?
Paul Lynde: As long as that's as far as it goes.

Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Peter Marshall: What did James Watt invent after fooling around with his wife's tea kettle?
Paul Lynde: James Watt Jr.

Peter Marshall: The Great White is one of the most feared animals. What is the Great White?
Paul Lynde: A sheriff in Alabama.

Peter Marshall: Paul, can anything bring tears to a chimp's eyes?
Paul Lynde: Finding out that Tarzan swings both ways!

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?
Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!

Peter Marshall: Fred Astaire says, his mother has been trying to get him to do this since he was 35. But he hasn't done it and says he won't do it until he's ready. Do what?
Paul Lynde: Move out of the house!

Peter Marshall: According to legend, who looks better, a pixie or a fairy?
Paul Lynde (in deeper voice): Well, looks aren't everything! (laughter and applause) Well, I guess I would say...I would have to go with the fairy. (more laughter)
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fertilizeonarbusto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
6. PM:
"Research shows that something can make monkeys cry. What is it?"
PL: "Finding out that Tarzan swings both ways."
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
7. Charley Weaver - also a classic.
Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:55 PM
Response to Original message
8. I loved Paul Lynde.
And blast that GSN for taking the old Hollywood Squares off the lineup! Those reruns brought back a lot of memories.
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meow2u3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-14-05 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
9. Here's a classic Lyndeism I remember from the show!
Peter Marshall: Paul, if you see white smoke coming from the Holy See, it means that a pope was elected. What does it mean when there's black smoke?
Paul Lynde: The cardinals burned the lasagna!
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