Another bad email from my Brother-in-law

though this one has a twist...

Its been circulating for some time, but now has a new ending.
Two Warning Bells
Kinda long
Pretty Syrupy

FRIENDS

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my
friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he
landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said,"Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"
There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that
showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him
where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why
I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school
before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid
before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all
weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my
friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was
Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who
helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your
teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he
had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and
was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

And now, as Paul Harvey would say, for the rest of the story.

Kyle went on to a very successful collegiate career, and again graduated first in his class. He stopped by to see me for coffee when he visited New York while attending a conference there. He was finishing graduate school at Michigan, I was living in a box on top of a heat grate on the corner of 5th and Broadway. I told Kyle that life after college hadn't been kind to me - I'd had a try-out with the New York Jets and blew out my knee the third day of training camp. To ease the pain, I was drinking heavily and was addicted to the painkiller Vicadin. I bought them from a big fat man in $1000 suits. He was on the radio, a big shot.

Kyle surprised me by telling me that he had decided not to pursue
medicine - he had discovered his true love - physics. That day Kyle
saved my life. He gave me 20$ and I scampered off to meet my man, hoping for that rush that would take away my pain. Kyle stopped me. He took me to the corner mission. There I found my personal relationship with Lord Jesus. Well, after two weeks of gut-wrenching withdrawal and a severe enough case of DTs to land me in Bellevue for week.

Kyle and I stayed in touch. He got more and more into physics. He used
his scientific connections to get me a job with an oil exploration firm. Now, I didn't know beans about oil, but Halliburton said because of my Christian background I would make an excellent spokesperson for their subsidiary Kellogg, Brown, and Root.

The years rolled by, Kyle and I still made contact when we could, but I found him more and more reclusive, harder to talk to and more difficult to reach. Soon, he gave up his phone and I could only mail letters to him. He even changed his name - going by Ted. After a brief teaching gig, he was unemployed for a long period of time. He moved to a small cabin in the woods. I always meant to go see him - I heard the fishing was great, but, frankly, Ted was kind of nerdy and I didn't feel like spending time with him.

I had completely forgotten about him until I had my maid bring me paper one morning. There, on the front page, in leg irons and in an orange prison jumpsuit was my good friend, Ted Kozinski.

And now, you know the rest of the story.

You can find endless numbers of emails with the same story but different parts edited all over the 'net.

Never heard that word before. But there it is. And here's http://www.glurge.com/

They are sooooooo fake. They read like one of those cartoon fundy tracts you see lying around bus stations.

On edit: I got to the end of the story. HA!

the ending is pretty funny, but thanks for playing.

:evilgrin:

Don't help out a nerdy kid whose being picked on cause they may turn out to be the unibomber one day??!?!:wtf:

I think its don't take serious the shit that you read on the internet and don't try to find fake morality in dumbass emails - but that is just my take.

ON second thought, maybe its a reflection on someone who wrote an email trying to pump himself up for a good deed done years before under the guise of the importance of friends. The "friend" did then ignore the grown adult who obviously was in some kind of trouble.

Sorry if this offended, I thought it was funny.

I was being sarcastic anyways ;)

was going to somehow end up in the World Trade Center on 9/11 and be one of the casualties. That's the way it seemed to be going. BTW, Ted Koczynski was a mathematician, not a physicist. If someone's gonna make up stories, they should at least try to make it realistic by getting their facts straight!

Correct you are, and he never changed his name either. Never mind that the spelling is actually Kaczynski. Its a dumb email, its in the lounge

My gosh, can you imagine what he would have done had his MAID not brought him the newspaper?

You just GOTTA know it's a faerie tale!

feeding at the trough of Halliburton!

All through the power of Jeeebus.