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KoKo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 05:49 PM
Original message
A friend from FLA is coming....and I'm down in the dumps. She used to
Edited on Tue Oct-14-03 05:56 PM by KoKo01
be a "Progressive" but she and her hubby (also a "Progressive) had a FBI friend down in FLA who "TRASHED Clinton Admin as Soft on Crime and Soft on Terrorists." That former FBI person "turned their heads." BUT, she knows I'm a total Clinton supporter (she doesn't know that I differ with him on NAFTA and MEDIA GIVE AWAY) but, whatever, she knows I think the "Chimp-in-Thief-Squatter in WH" is a NAZI!

Still, I haven't seen her in awhile and we go way back. She's coming to visit because of a Conference to help ADD and Autistic Children." She's a "good person" who freaked out about Monica/Clinton. She thinks I really don't get how "immoral Clinton was" and I think she doesn't get that the "Squatter is a Nazi."

She will be here for three days. I have to deal with whatever she might be into. I don't want to get into the situation of trying to "convert" her, but OTOH, I want her to understand that the person she knew for 20 years....has stayed true to her activistm roots, but OTOH, I think she has some "sorrow" in her family that she's visiting me....and she didn't want to tell me about it, but used the Conference about ADD and Autistic Children, to "reconnect" with a person she knew.

I don't know what to serve her for dinner......I am a mole since "Squatter came into WH" and have changed. How do I deal with her visit? I'm a total RADICAL at this point. If she in any way supports BUSH I will ATTACK. I can't do this to her....and I'm torn into bits worrying how I can deal with this visit. She's a great gal and she loves Organic Food, Alternative Health Medications, and the kindliest person I've ever known in my life. Really!

But, I've become MEAN and RADICAL and I want to show her pics of us PROTESTING CHENEY/ASSCROFT/BUSH! But, she won't want to see or hear that. She will want to talk to me about children and how she is working to help them.

I seem like a mean/vindictive/partisan jerk.....when she is a SAINT! How do I deal with her VISIT? :shrug:
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XanaDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 05:55 PM
Response to Original message
1. Agree to not discuss any politics
for the sake of your friendship.

Numerous times my cousin had to tell her RW nut father to stop talking crap (as a RWer, he of course feels it is his right to rant and rave about anything about librals he does not like, and he does not like much) during any family visits.

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dofus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 06:02 PM
Response to Original message
2. Print out some articles
that support your viewpoints. Just try not to appear too extreme. DU is, unfortunately, given to extreme points of view, so referring her to this website isn't a good idea.

You can point out, as calmly as possible, that Bush is going to be the first president since Herbert Hoover to show a net loss of jobs on his watch. You can point out that Clinton inherited a deficit and turned it into a surplus. Bush the exact opposite. You can ask her how hanky panky in the Oval Office, as despicable as that was, is worse than telling lies that get us into a war. Ask if she thinks the air should be clean, the environment protected. Then point out what Bush & Co have done to make the air dirtier, to rape and pillage the environment.

There's also information out there that Clinton was NOT soft on crime or on terrorists. Try a google search.

Good luck.
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happydad Donating Member (8 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
3. Something simple
If you value your friendship, just be an adult. Self-restraint can be a good thing.

I'm sure that nice people like Bush, too. Maybe. Or so I've heard...

My mother! Yeah, that's it.
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newyawker99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 10:56 AM
Response to Reply #3
13. Hi happydad!!
Welcome to DU!! :toast:

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Demobrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 06:11 PM
Response to Original message
4. You're just going to have to make politics off limit as a topic.
Tell her flat out before she arrives that you value her friendship but that any sort of support for Bush is unacceptable in your home. And if she brings it up take her to the nearest motel. Anybody who considers consensual sex between two adults worse than the exploitation of a national tragedy for political and financial gain is not worth talking to, anyway.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
5. For starters, stop vilifying yourself and beatifying her.
Stay away from politics unless she goes there first. Then make your best arguments. Remember to anticipate her counterarguments and extinguish them with logic and facts before she has the opportunity to push you into a defensive stance.

You're smart and informed. You'll be fine.
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KoKo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #5
11. Good point. I'm worried about offending her when she sees my mounds of
anti-Bush articles next to my computer....when in fact, that's who I AM, and WHERE I AM at this point in my life.

Well, I could stash the Bush mess away in my file cabinet, too.

If I could just duct tape my mouth. If she says anything political I'm likely to let loose.

Have found my tolerance for Bush Lovers is razor thin....:-( Even for old friends... So much for the "Uniter, not Divider!"
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 11:40 AM
Response to Reply #11
15. Look. She's going to be a guest in YOUR house.
Edited on Wed Oct-15-03 11:41 AM by bunnyj
Leave your anti-Bush stuff where it is. Seriously, as her host, you should try to make her comfortable. But it's up to her to adapt to your home, not vice versa. Old friendship aside, I think you should lay out the ground rules right off the bat.

Tell her that there will need to be an agreement not to discuss politics during her stay. Keep up with your end of the bargain. After a sincere effort on your part, if it looks like she can't adhere to this, I would suggest you say something like: "look, I know you feel very strongly about your politics, as do I. Since neither one of us is likely to change our mind, you may be more comfortable staying in a hotel. Let me call and make reservations. I really value your friendship, and I don't want you to be uncomfortable here. Maybe I could meet you at your hotel for dinner during your stay." Or something like that.

It's unfortunate, but sometimes we outgrow old friendships and they have to be gently let go. And honestly, if she really believes that Bill Clinton was immoral, how can she POSSIBLY think George Bush Jr. is any better?
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dfong63 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 08:17 PM
Response to Original message
6. then talk about the children
... and how Bush is screwing them. underfunding NCLB for starters. gutting americorps. if you feel like you're making headway, you might try mentioning the Iraqi and Palestinian children, who after all are just like "our" children, but thru no fault of their own, are living a desperate existence...
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 08:23 PM
Response to Original message
7. five easy steps
1. give her a "GOP" sign to wear whenever she's in the house. You wear a "Democrat" sign.

2. She sleeps on the floor. You take all the cushions, pillows, etc. to your bed.

3. She eats cat food once a day, nothing else. You eat lobster, steak, caviar.

4. You say anything you want--the nastier your attacks on the Repugs, the better. Scream 24X7 if at all possible. Tape record your diatribes to play while you are eating, sleeping, whatever. If she opens her yap, shut it for her. Use force and duct tape if necessary.

5. Take all her money before she leaves.

I wonder why I don't have any friends anymore.
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KoKo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 08:38 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. ROFL......Yeah I'm not that "harsh" she's a really great gal. Soft Touch
might work better than "starvation" and "Signs" and "Depravation." But, I understand you may have had many visitors and have worked this out! :D
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 08:28 PM
Response to Original message
8. Talk about
the weather, the children she works with, movies you've seen, music you love, sports or other such things. If you have to, plan a lot of your social activity in places where you wouldn't be inclined to make a scene, or go see some movies together so that there'll be little opportunity for conversation.

As a parting gesture, give her a copy of Blumenthal's "The Clinton Wars."
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KoKo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. Well she's here for 3 Nights and 4 Days. I can get through Kids whatever
the first night...but gotta get through the others. She's very "low key" on the Dem Cusp.....I can't browbeat her....she's not that kind of person. She's a really caring person who has come under a "bad influence."

She was a Dem, but Clinton/Monica through her over the edge. She doesn't know what I know about Freeps, Melon -Scaife, and how Joe Conason/Gene Lyons explosed the RW Hunters of Clinton. She doesn't understand that there are RW Fundies out there. She's a Catholic who believes in "birth control" but won't go farther than that.

Do you see my problem? Do you want to visit someone who gives you a "handfull of literature" and says READ, READ, READ.....because you "Just Don't Get It!"

However, she is coming to my house where I'm distraught, angry, and have a stack of ANTI BUSH info next to my computer and no one can talk to me without my bringing up BUSH/Squatter/BFEE/Stolen Election/NAZI/ASSCROFT/PATRIOT ACT....etc. etc.

So even if I behave myself, (and I'm very polite of the "old school") this venom I have against Chimp Regime will bubble out.......and I might lose a fried.

Well.....actually posting this I ralize I need to "Duct tTape my mouth and my Brain when she's here."

I don't need to CONVERT an Old Friend who disagrees. If I'm too strident....I sound like a Freeper..! Better to just "go with the flow." And better to just focus on something else, even though I live, eat, breathe, sleep POLITICS! She Doesn't.

Better to just keep the peace..

Thanks all for helping my brain to get it......:-)'s
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Lindsey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 10:35 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. I totally relate to you
I also have a friend for life who's somewhat of a right winger (but not horribly so). She lives in Tx. and I live in Ca. Whenever we see each other or talk, we simply DON'T talk about politics. The fact is, there really are a lot of other things to talk about. I WOULD not try to sway her.
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Redneck Socialist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 11:31 AM
Response to Original message
14. Don't talk politics
Friendships are too valuable.
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