Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Funny, CLEAN Limericks thread.

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread		 This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 09:14 AM
Original message
Funny, CLEAN Limericks thread.
I love dirty limericks as much as anyone, but clean limericks can be fun if they are funny or clever enough. Here's my clean favorite:

A girl from the Isle of Wight
Used to travel much faster than light
She set out one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

Let's hear yours. Clean, please. If you have good dirty limericks, start a thread for them, or PM them to me. ;-):-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 09:15 AM
Response to Original message
1. I don't think I know any clean limericks.
<scratches head>
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
RaulGroom Donating Member (331 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 09:19 AM
Response to Original message
2. This one's borderline
There once was a boy king named Bush
Whose head was stuck way up his tush
He balked at the cure
Since he wasn't quite sure
Which was which, when shove came to push.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tg Donating Member (80 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 09:56 AM
Response to Reply #2
8. Well, as long as we're doing "borderline"
A lady geometer sans gent
Cried out in tones that were plangent
"I've tried all I can
To make love to a man
But I only get off on a tangent."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 09:19 AM
Response to Original message
3. There was a young poet named Dan
Whose limericks rambled and ran.
When they said it was so,
He replied, "Yes, I know,
But I always try to fit as many syllables into that last line as I possibly can."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
FauxNewsBlues Donating Member (420 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 09:29 AM
Response to Original message
4. A limerick
There was this guy who was Dick Cheney's flunky
He was related to a species of monkey
His mom was full of chagrin
When he polished off her gin
From dad's liquor cabinet in Kennebunky
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 09:30 AM
Response to Original message
5. There was a young man from the Rhine
Whose limericks repeated a line.
Though this was redundant,
Though this was redundant,
His limericks repeated a line.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 09:55 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. That's one of the funniest limericks I've ever read...
Edited on Wed Oct-22-03 09:59 AM by Richardo
...as a fan of all things self-referential.

thx mac56! :D

For example, a chapter title in Mike Nelson's book Mind Matters: "Think you're wrong? Think again!"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #7
14. Thanks, Richardo!
I got a million of 'em -

There once was a poet named Bix
Whose limericks went to line six.
He never did know
How far they should go,
And never did bother to fix
Them at all.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tg Donating Member (80 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 09:47 AM
Response to Original message
6. Anything to avoid thinking about politics
Two with a fantasy theme:

Talking sandwiches once were in vogue
And a fine one was owned by a rogue
Two slabs of whole wheat
Grown in rich Irish peat
And spread with a very thick brogue.

The flames of a dragon would flare
When protecting his treasure so rare
Not jewels or a chest
As you probably guessed
'Twas parchment, the deed to his lair.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
emad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 10:00 AM
Response to Original message
9. Clean-ish
There was a young man from Kent
Whose penis was terribly bent
But there was more trouble
When he bent it up double
Cos instead of coming he went
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
On the Road Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 10:08 AM
Response to Original message
10. OK, This Isn't Exactly a Limerick
but it's clean and it's in the spirit of things:
Big fleas have little fleas
Upon their back to bite 'em.
And little fleas have lesser fleas
And so ad infinitum.

Jonathan Swift
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
On the Road Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 11:53 AM
Response to Original message
11. Another Clean Non-Limerick I
"The rain it raineth on the just
And also on the unjust fella;
But chiefly on the just, because
The unjust steals the just's umbrella."
Sam Ervin (09/27/1896 – 04/23/1985); US Senator (NC)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
12. I thought of a couple more:
A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor:
"is it harder to toot,
Or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

The Reverend Henry Ward Beecher
Called the hen a most elegant creature
The hen, pleased with that
Laid an egg in his hat
And thus did the hen reward Beecher

And a bonus:

There was a young lady from Worcester
Who use-est to crow like a roo-cester
She use-est to climb
Seven trees at a time,
But her sis-ester use-est to boo-cester
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Rowdyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. Clean and political...
There's an evil group known as PNAC
Who decided to plunder Iraq
They convinced Little Bush
That Iraq could be smooshed
So, Dubya said, "Heck, yeah! Attack!


Absolutely loved "and thus did the hen reward Beecher!" Kudos...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Thanks, Rowdyboy.
It wasn't original with me, though. Wish I could claim credit.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. put this in the wrong place!
Edited on Wed Oct-22-03 02:09 PM by mac56
put this in the wrong place!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
17. A healthy young man in his prime
Wrote limericks just some of the time.
He wrote just a bit,
But they sounded like sh*t
‘Cause he never could get them to come out right.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
WannaJumpMyScooter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-22-03 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
18. An amoeba named Sam and his brother
Were having a drink with each other
In the midst of their quaffing
They split their sides laughing
So now each of them is a mother.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue May 14th 2024, 12:08 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC