I HATE WEDDINGS! (A hungover rant)

What is the deal with weddings lately?

When I was a kid, I went to a fair number, my dad being a minister, as well as large extended families on both sides. It was usually a 15 minute ceremony, followed by an hour long cake and punch reception.

But lately, it seems like I spend most of my weekend free time devoted to other people's weddings!!!!! If it isn't some stupid pre-wedding party, or shopping for gift items from their registry, it's the marathon day of dread itself.
The ceremony yesterday was in the atrium of a hotel. The bride came down the glass elevator! I'm not kidding!! That was followed by "cocktail hour" with cheese, then the "real" reception. A full-on sit-down dinner with hosted bar, dancing, the works. The only way I can alleviate boredom and a wish to commit harikari at these events is to drink early and often. So I end up ruining the following day as well.

BLECH!!!

I told the SO last night that we are SO NOT DOING ANY OF THAT!!!
If/when we get married it's going to be JOP and announce it after it's a done deal. None of this production for me. I won't subject myself to it, and I'm certainly not going to make anyone else suffer.

Does anyone enjoy these things?
Or am I a freak?

It's okay if you want to tell me I'm a freak and that normal people think this is the greatest experience of their lives. I've given up on trying to be normal a long time ago.

Two aspirin and some tomato juice. :-)

My nephews have all been getting married. I have always assumed my daughter would do something non-traditional - mountains, on the beach, whatever - because that is just her. I asked her what kind of wedding she would want (has a serious relationship and am trying to brace myself for the shock of the price) and she said certainly nothing like her cousins' wedding. She said she wanted to go to Vegas and get married by Elvis. It was awhile before I realized she was serious. She doesn't even care about Elvis. She said it would just be a small ceremony with just immediate family and we could have a party later. Hope she means a party HERE and not in Vegas. Well, it's never boring with this one...

and avoid them like the plague

At all. Just turn down the invitation and send a nice gift.

-- Allen (the distant lesser-known cousin of E. Scrooge)

The weddings I'm going to now are for friends that grew up with my daughter. I've known them for 15 or 20 years. I get a little misty at every one, thinking about them as kids and how well they've come along, relatively un-screwed-up.
Makes me feel kinda old, but good.
:-)

their second and third weddings :O

I will attend ONLY first weddings.
Thank you.
;-)

I always cry so much

The old-fashioned ethnic ones, on the other hand, are the fun ones. When this girl who worked as a receptionist with my husband had an old-fashioned Italian wedding in a church basement, we had the best time - dancing and great food. The snobby fiance of one his other coworkers was making fun of it the whole time, like "Ohmigod, PAPER TABLECLOTHS!"

Then this woman had hers in a country club and it was so boring. She had to yell for her husband after the ceremony because he was hiding in the bathroom. Some people have the money but no class!

When I went to them when I was younger, I always mentioned how tiring and stressful I thought that it would be to be the bride and groom of the particuliar wedding. I was told that I'd feel different when I was older. My mother-in-law wanted us to have a big wedding and it almost caused me to break my engagement. I continued to state my opposition to this even when she offered to pay. (She had orginally demanded that my family pay for a proper wedding like her parents did even though my parents weren't in a financial position to do so and knew that I didn't want such a wedding anyway.) We ended up compromising and had a sit down wedding reception shortly after the ceremony in the early afternoon at a supper club that on Saturdays served only dinner. We offered two choices for guests from food right off the menu and were only charged for the food that was served (a couple people didn't show up). The whole thing was over before 4:30 p.m. and my husband and I had the evening to ourselves. We are introverted types so spending the evening with each other rather than lots of people was more satisfying. I only got bored during the pictures. The ceremony and reception were fine, but I'd rathr avoided the whole emotional turmoil casued by my mother-in-law.

because it's payback time.
Miz t. and I basically eloped.
When it came time for our darling daughter and our only child, she and mom both wanted the full-monty, fairy-tale wedding.
It wuz.
The reception was at the poshest hotel in La Jolla.
Open bar, band, sit-down dinner, the works.
I think the $$$ that went for the wedding cake could have kept me in Scotch for months.
Miz t. is the keeper of the exchequer so I said "Just don't tell me".
Sometimes denial is a good thing.
Now our daughter's friends are getting married and I'm doing my best to even the score.
;-)

No Elvis impersonator, unfortunately, and the "minister" admonished K for giggling at the sheer absurdity of it all, but a) we got married, and b) it's a hell of a lot more fun than the pagent you describe!

The next day at the gift opening we all get drunk again. No fights this time.

But many I've seen were more like spectacles than dignified ceremonies.

And far too many decide on an outdoor wedding after seeing a picture in some magazine without taking weather, bugs, sunset times and extraneous noises like jetskis into account.

Drink heavily, hover by the hors d'oeuvres, harrass the bridesmaids, dance with grandma...

What's not to like?

I don't even have a girlfriend. The up side is that none of her (she who is non-existent) friends are inviting us to their weddings.

I'm not a big fan of the Traditional Wedding, either, but on the other hand, loneliness has driven more people to drink than dumb-assed wedding parties.

Both my brothers are married. One just had a baby boy, the other has a five-year-old boy and a girl on the way.

Fortunately, I want more out of life than just getting married and having kids; although I do feel like I'll be missing out on something.

--bkl
Middle-aged, unemployed ... oy, such a mensch!

I used to think like that, until I got married and had kids. Now I kick myself for waiting so long.

Maybe someday I will go to a wedding I don't like, but I have never not enjoyed a wedding.

Try going to a Jewish wedding (not an Orthodox Jewish wedding). Those are the most fun, in my opinion.

to kill the hangover. That's the only thing that will help. Well, that and aspirin.

As for the big weddings, it depends on who's throwing them. I appreciate what other people do for themselves. And I go for a couple of hours. Loud, long, and boisterious are not my cup of tea. I do not stay for the whole thing. And don't get me started on the habit of the creeping all-day service. :eyes:

No, a large wedding is not what I would want if I got married again (HA! - I say that only because I don't date much).

I would just want a small, quick ceremony somewhere outdoors, in garden or on the beach at sunset, with a small party afterwards. That's more my style.

Punch and cake don't sound like enough for me-- gotta have good food, booze, music, and nonstop dancing.

Having said that, I do think spending $50,000 for a day's celebration is a horrible waste.

We had a picnic afterward, instead of a big, expensive to-do. The women in my family made all the food and there were minimal decorations. I agree, I can't stand big weddings. My aunt and uncle spent twenty-thousand dollars on their wedding, I spent about three thousand, and one thousand of that was on my dress. My philosophy is-have a small wedding and a big marriage.

I HATE weddings. I barely tolerated my own, and we had a Barbeque for a reception! My niece got married last year. She arrived in a horse-drawn carriage. ( I laughed when I read about the glass elevator!) I think some people go all out because they want their 15 minutes in show business!

Especially big ones. I don't want to watch anybody get all mushy and cry and make out and stuff. Everybody in my family gets divorced, anyway. However, DH is from a HUGE family--we've been to at least one wedding a year since I met him almost four years ago. We sit in the back and try not to snicker audibly at the cheesiness. Occasionally I have to fake a cough.

I didn't want to have a wedding. I wanted to go the JOP route. But I knew our families would be disappointed, so we had a small, immediate-family-only ceremony. It took about five minutes, and that's the way I wanted it. Then we took everybody out to dinner afterwards. It was nice.

We spent less on our wedding than most people spend on flowers these days.

Until I found a bridesmaid and a closet.

but maybe you should try going to one and not getting blitzed, the world can be a lot more entertaining.

what am I saying? the last wedding I went to I ended up doing shots of whiskey with the Priest.

look, weddings should be parties that reflect the Bride and Groom. Some people logically throw elaborate soirees with fancy dinners an what not. others are happier (and therefore their guests are happier) with a keg in the basement. As long as the mood reflects the bride and groom, people should have a good time. it's when the people throwing the party aren't having a good time (fish out of water or whatnot) that guests are strained and issues happen.

I love Mexican food with hangovers.

I haven't been to a wedding in since I got married ten years ago. I was the last one until the next generation. We spent a minimal amount of money but had a nice service and about 65 guests. I don't want to go to any wedding where I have to actually do something other tha be there.

The last wedding in which I was a bridesmaid was long ago and the bride was an idiot, disorganized, and completely unprepared for the realities of marriage. She had us in skimpy halter dresses in January. The six bridesmaids (WTH???) all had to put big bandaids on their nipples so we wouldn't poke out in front of the priest. She sent me the fabric and a tracing of the pattern for my gown six days before the wedding; I was still sewing it that morning. When the wedding was over I was so relieved because the bride now became his problem. They split up after about six months because she drove him insane.

Personally, I think more people should spend most of their nuptial budget on counseling to make sure they are doing the right thing.

Yep. This thing went on and on and afterwards we got ran into at a redlight, the suv rolled over 3 times, nearly died, got layed off 2 weeks later.

big weddings leading to short marriages. The reason being, too many people forcus on the ceremony and forget about the relationship. I've been to one $100,000 and two $50,000+ weddings. All of those marriages have failed.

the exact same theory. I have never understood how some people can spend months or years even, planning for one day, while giving no thought whatsoever to the ensuing forty or so years.

I love the dancing, the free booze, the food, all that. You can keep the actual wedding part - that part should be private, anyway.

When it came to my own weddings (two of 'em), I was too cheap to spring for any of that, and my family is much too large to accommodate in any kind of reasonable manner, so I just didn't invite any of them. My first wedding was in front of a justice of the peace with his parents and my mother and stepfather only. (And I was standing there knowing I was making a mistake, even while we were reciting the vows.) My second wedding was in Vegas, in a little chapel, with just the chapel's employees as witnesses. I highly recommend it - you can't go Bridezilla that way, and NO ONE likes a Bridezilla.

I'd still like to have a reception party, but our friends have kind of scattered to the four winds since we married, and the way things are going, it'll be a tenth-anniversary party by the time we get around to it. There's too much else to do!

lots of weddings are very cheesy and overblown. The couples seem to get caught up in "this is the greatest day of your life" and spend way too much money on an event that lasts a few hours. Some of them also seem to forget that they are hosting a party and fail to take their guests into consideration at all.

I don't mind weddings so much, mostly because they tend to be an opportunity for me to see far flung friends and/or family that I don't see very often. We usually manage to have a few laughs.

We got married about a year and a half ago and it was fairly low key -- yes, we had a cocktail hour and a sitdown dinner, and we had an hour long Catholic ceremony -- but we tried really hard to avoid cheesiness at all costs. It's not easy but it can be done.

We also tried to cut costs as much as possible -- and it still ended up costing $12,000!!!! The wedding industrial complex is obscene.