Selections from "Ask Zod"

http://www.generalzod.net/



My Question:
A man name George W. Bush just said you were part of the "Axis of Evil", what do you intend to do?

Zod's Response: I shall make him beg for my forgiveness as he kneels before his rightful ruler. If he does not comply, he will then die as he deserves to for his defiance!

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My Question:
If I kneel before you, do you PROMISE to keep your pants zipped.

If you do proceed to unzip your pants, I will have no choice but to rip your weenie out of its sockets, and throw you into another Neon Coke sign.

~Superman

Zod's Response: The Son Of Jor-El... still here on this planet? Come to me Son Of Jor-El! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

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My Question:
There is a car blocking my parking spot. Could you please blow it out of the way? P.S. You rock.

Zod's Response: Not only did I destroy the intrusive car that you mentioned, but I have destroyed your parking spot as well.

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My Question:
Dear General Zod,
I have noticed while checking my list twice, that you have asked for a Superman action figure. Is this really true? Your Friend, Santa.

Zod's Response: Who is this Santa? I defy you! Come! Come and Kneel Before Zod! ZOD!!!!

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My Question:
Do you like pancakes?

Zod's Response: What are these "pancakes" you speak of? They are no match for my powers! Show yourselves cowardly pancakes! Show yourselves! COWARDS!

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My Question:
Is groveling before Zod also acceptable?

Zod's Response: Yes, as long as you are kneeling while doing so.

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My Question:
Hey Zod, i am incredibly attracted to you.. and i must make love to you as soon as possible! but one thing stands in the way... Batman... i think he's this guy i use to date named Bruce Wayne, can you take him out so i can satisfy my "itch" with you ?

Zod's Response: Why do you say these things to me when you know I will kill you for it?

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My Question:
Zod, How does it feel to know that i played you like a puppet in my plan to own the world... you were merely a pawn in my war with Superman. Kneel Before LEX

Zod's Response: Lex Luthor. For your defiance, I have dispatched Non and Ursa to kill you. You are no longer "ruler of Australia". I have instead handed rule of Australia to "Steve Irwin", a man who hunts strange "crocodile" creatures. He displays much more bravery than you ever have, coward. And he also submits to me to do my bidding. A very loyal slave indeed.

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My Question:
Did you kill that nasty Amidala chick for getting you fired as Chancellor?

Zod's Response: Why do you say this to me, when you know I will kill you for it?

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My Question:
Why does my mommy tell me it is wrong to worship Lord Zod? Is she evil?

Zod's Response: I have just killed your "mommy". Worry no more.

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:)

Kneel before Zod

"Care to step outside?!?"

How is the delicious, wheat-free and dairy-free products business going for you? I was flabbergasted when I heard that a magnificant ruler such as yourself was striken with an intolerance to milk and wheat products. But then again, perhaps that's due to your overwhelmingly intolerant demeanor, which in some ways helped you take over the world.

Best wishes,
Your Pal,
Martin. Kneeling.

Welcome to DU!! :toast: