offer your favorite fantasy episode of "I let someone have it today!"

Or, if you have a real one, put that up!

My personal favorite is when Mrs. V. and I were sitting at a red light, with the traffic behind us also stopped, when the guy behind us apparently thought the light changed and floored it.

Mrs. V. was out of that car quick as a flash, around to the driver's window in no time, and shouted at the top of her lungs,

"HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU?!

:rofl:

The collision only punched two little holes in the rear bumper of the Tercel. No one was hurt. We filed no report.

Your favorite episode? Either you laid someone out to whaleshit, or you saw a buddy do it -- or you've fantasized about it for years....

I'm on either O'Reilly or Hannity and Colmes for whatever reason (I'm important? Naahhh...) and they push me too far, and I leap over the desk and start wailin' the holy living turtle shit out of 'em. And they're squealing like stuck pigs — on live teevee.

:woohoo: :bounce:

:rofl: :woohoo:

Maybe you could unspin the no spin zone and turn hannitys huge jaw and perfect part line in his hair to the left. Who knows what might come from those things...LOL.

so much for thinking a topic would be fun.

And it was recent too. Apparently at the same time we were visiting Disneyland, there was a "Junior Miss Pageant" being held at one of the Disney owned hotels. So there were all these little girls with tiaras and sashes wandering around Disneyland.

One of these "darling little girls", a girl of about 12 years old, stepped on my foot. No excuse me, no I am so sorry, no nothing. Her sash said Miss Junior Iowa. So I loudly said, (directing my voice to her parents) "Gee, I thought they taught manners in Iowa!" The look on Daddy Junior Miss's face was priceless.

:bounce:

I am surprised nothing "bluer" came flying out of my mouth at that particular moment.

I'm at my weekend job. My Holy Roller Hymnal Brigade co-worker has been bleating out religious songs for hours as usual. Finally I stand up and tell her: "If I hear one more of those freaking songs out of your mouth I'm going to cram a dirty Depends down your throat!"

Oooo... this almost happened last year.

My two friends and I are debating abortion in the hall at lunch. We're all for the complete legalization of it, permanently. Then, Mrs. Stupid Fundie Lunch Lady comes into our conversation.

Here's how it happened!

Us: *Chatter.*

Her: *Marches over with 'I'm better than you look' and practically elbows my friend out of the way.* Well, SOMEONE should speak up for the baby! *Other right-wing talking points.*

Us: *Slack jawed* Uhh... what?

Me: *What I wanted to happen* Listen, you stupid piece of religious talking-point spewing crap, LISTEN TO ME. YOU WERE NOT INVOLVED IN THIS CONVERSATION, NOR DID ANYONE INVITE YOU. You're too old and stupid to have anymore kids, so STAY OUT OF THE RING. My friggin' stomach, my FRICKIN' CHOICE. *Pushes stupid fundie lady down and runs away screaming bloody murder out into the street*

Me: *What really happened* EXCUSE ME? This was MY conversation, NOT yours. Stay the frick outta it or I'm gonna GET you out of it.

Both of us: *Argue a moment. At last, both of us are red faced.*

One of my teachers: *Walks by* Umm... Mini, here... I need you to look at a paper.

Thanks to that teacher, I'm not suspended for punching stupid fundie lunch lady.

Worse, she lives down the street.

A year later, I'm STILL getting steamed thinking about it. HOW RUDE.

we received a credit card we did not apply for, today....I called to cancel. They wanted my hubby's SS#....Well, that is NOT going to happen.

Some guy on the phone says, " Lady I can't help you...I need to talk to your husband...it's his name on the card"...so I tell this weenie..."My husband did not apply for this card."....."but, I would have him call" ...then I asked what their 'call hours' were..he says..."We are open around the clock...we never close"...So I says..."Yeah, that way you can cheat and scam people...ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG." He hung up on me....how rude.


Tikki

..later we talked to someone who helped us cancel out this card without us having to give out identifying information...