what the hell is wrong with me?

leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 01:56 AM Original message

what the hell is wrong with me?

sheesh.

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KitchenWitch (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 01:57 AM Response to Original message

1. Um, er, I dunno!

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:10 AM Response to Reply #1

8. Something will probably come to you eventually

>kicks self<

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KitchenWitch (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:17 AM Response to Reply #8

17. eh, not likely!

:pals:

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:20 AM Response to Reply #17

20. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

I love hugs, but you'd never guess it from my slow, dim-witted ways.

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NMMNG (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 01:57 AM Response to Original message

2. Nothing that I'm aware of

:shrug:

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:10 AM Response to Reply #2

9. you obviously weren't there at our table

what a bozo!

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NMMNG (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:17 AM Response to Reply #9

18. Hey! No more self-flagellation allowed for at least 24 hours!

:hug:

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:22 AM Response to Reply #18

22. self abuse better be okay

or I'm gonna go crazy thanks to what's wrong with me

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NMMNG (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:27 AM Response to Reply #22

24. Well, I can't stop you from halfway across the country

:shrug: But I'd like to help if I could. :hug:

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:33 AM Response to Reply #24

29. my my

you already have helped!

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NMMNG (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:42 AM Response to Reply #29

41. That's good to hear

Do take care, and keep the self-abuse to a minimum please.

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:46 AM Response to Reply #41

47. that is good advice

Edited on Sat Dec-03-05 02:46 AM by leftofthedial minimum to the max cross my heart

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WCGreen (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 01:58 AM Response to Original message

3. I don't know... but just stop with it already.....

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:12 AM Response to Reply #3

13. if I could stop with it

then it wouldn't be what's wrong anymore then what would we all talk about? no, seriously, I'm apparently damaged or defective somehow. I think I need to dig out the warranty and see what's covered.

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WCGreen (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:33 AM Response to Reply #13

27. Aren't we all.... My warranty expired decades ago...

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:35 AM Response to Reply #27

31. I could have sworn I had the extended warranty

but I guess it's true what they say it's not the years; it's the miles

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Ptah (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:02 AM Response to Original message

4. do you want a list? n/t

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:11 AM Response to Reply #4

10. yes.

and start with that one thing.

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Ptah (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:18 AM Response to Reply #10

19. I'm sure that one thing is in the forecast.

Edited on Sat Dec-03-05 02:19 AM by Ptah

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:23 AM Response to Reply #19

23. I could be a famous cartoonist

but I'm not

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LSK (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:07 AM Response to Original message

5. well for starters....

I have no clue what you are talking about!

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:08 AM Response to Reply #5

6. see?

that's how it always starts . . .

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LSK (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:11 AM Response to Reply #6

11. this situation calls for

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:14 AM Response to Reply #11

15. see?

that just goes to show you . . .

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:10 AM Response to Original message

7. You have an

appendix that is totall vestigial and nothing but potential trouble. You walk upright but aren't quite adapted to do so without a few design problems that lead to aches and pains. Your sinuses don't have little doors on 'em that you can open up when you're congested. Other than that, I think you're all right. :-)

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Floogeldy (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:11 AM Response to Reply #7

12. You're on a roll . . .

. . . Don't stop now! ;)

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:30 AM Response to Reply #12

25. You saw my face on a roll?

Quick, alert the Vatican! Place an ad on eBay! :D

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:39 AM Response to Reply #25

35. Pilgrims!

Line up on the left and place your offerings in the shoebox. If you want a photo with the ForrestGump roll face, you'll have to put your name on the list over by the relics-of-the-true-virgin tent.

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:41 AM Response to Reply #35

38. (Deity Of Your Choice) Bless America!

Free enterprise is alive and well! I'll want the standard 25% on admission, with 10% of all T-shirt sales

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:47 AM Response to Reply #38

50. 20% of the door, plus 10% of the merch

and we have a deal

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:07 AM Response to Reply #50

70. It's a deal,

Colonel Parker.

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:10 AM Response to Reply #70

74. you stick with me and you won't go far wrong

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KitchenWitch (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:13 AM Response to Reply #7

14. My kingdom for sinuses with little doors on them!

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Floogeldy (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:20 AM Response to Reply #14

21. Oh, I think that can be arranged . . .

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:33 AM Response to Reply #21

28. How many times do I have to say this:

I am not interested in one of your so-called Super Duper High Colonics! :scared:

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:41 AM Response to Reply #28

37. stop it

you are killing me no. I mean it you are killing me LOL

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:42 AM Response to Reply #37

40. Sorry. But imagine if you switched that thing from blow to suck

:o Metamucil sales would plummet...

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:48 AM Response to Reply #40

53. forget what the hell is wrong with me

what the hell is that thing? !!? holy mazoley

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:32 AM Response to Reply #14

26. I dohw wod due meadn...

Hence my unusual presence (I mean, the fact that I'm present, not that I am unusual...hey!, no snickering in the back there), courtesy of a cold that's had me confined to my computer fo a week. :-(

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:16 AM Response to Reply #7

16. yeah, but that goes without saying

it's that other little problem that worries me. LOL "vestigial" OMG it's it's it's vestigial! LOL BTW, since the 70s, my sinuses DO have little doors. The problem is I can't close them.

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:34 AM Response to Reply #16

30. Like the vestigial virgins?

Hmmm...all things considered, perhaps unclosing doors wouldn't be ideal. Again, it's all a consequence of a significant design fault. :-)

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:37 AM Response to Reply #30

33. does this prove that intelligent design is a buttload of crap?

Personally, after tonight, I'm convinced that I am living proof that ID is bullshit.

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:44 AM Response to Reply #33

43. Proof? I think ID is phoney.

And you can't get in anywhere with phoney ID.

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:52 AM Response to Reply #43

56. not even to the world famous ForrestGump face on a roll exhibit?

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:08 AM Response to Reply #56

71. No. We want good, solid semolians for that.

We don't care who they are. :D

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:10 AM Original message

no paypal shit here

just folding green

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:40 AM Response to Reply #30

36. Don't float that "significant design theory" crap around here, pal!

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:42 AM Response to Reply #36

39. wait a minute

crap does float famously and apocryphaly

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:47 AM Response to Reply #39

49. Is THAT what a floating craps game is? I've always wondered.

Doesn't sound very appealing, I must say.

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:54 AM Response to Reply #49

57. espeically when you roll boxcars

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:09 AM Response to Reply #57

73. THAT

sounds painful. :o

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:24 AM Response to Reply #57

96. Or porta-potties.

Eeeeeeewwww!!!

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:59 AM Response to Reply #39

63. Apocryphaly?

Mr. Webster says that word doesn't exist. Just sayin'

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:05 AM Response to Reply #63

67. nitpicker

Edited on Sat Dec-03-05 03:05 AM by leftofthedial but at least you have identified one thing that's wrong with me :thumbsup:

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:10 AM Response to Reply #67

75. What, you make up big words...

...and try to pawn them off on halfwits such as myself? Well, yeah... that is pretty mean. By the way, it's not "nitpicker." It's "picnicker."

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:13 AM Response to Reply #75

79. half?

wit? as long as it's not nosepicker

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:21 AM Response to Reply #79

84. Okay, so I'm almost totally French.

And you KNOW we have the market cornered with respect to insults. And I just gotta say, that was one of the best insults I've seen here. Even though I was on the receiving end of it. Bravo! Er, uh... touche!, I mean. :applause:

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:35 AM Response to Reply #84

98. French?

Comment ca va, mon petit champignon? Enchanté. Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh. Je suis un smoooooth mother... Shut your mouth! But I'm talkin' 'bout Gump. Then we can dig it

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:54 AM Response to Reply #98

123. Did you just call me your "little mushroom"?

I think you did.

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:45 AM Response to Reply #36

44. Hey!

Oops. Sorry. Wrong thread. :P Get thee back to the 700 Club, woman!

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:48 AM Response to Reply #44

51. Hah! MAKE me, Shirleyboy!

Love, Pandora.

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:51 AM Response to Reply #51

55. Hey! Don't mess with me, I'm an expert boxer!

:P

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:03 AM Response to Reply #55

66. You mean, X-Boxer.

Du-uh.

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:11 AM Response to Reply #66

76. Why, you, I oughta...

...lay down for a while. Listen: the loons, the loons...

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:16 AM Response to Reply #76

82. But if you lay down for a while...

...we all won't hear the loons no more! "Come here, Norman. Hurry up. The loons! The loons! They're welcoming us back. "

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:36 AM Response to Original message

32. probably the same thing that is wrong with me

I don't know that either.

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:45 AM Response to Reply #32

45. Bill! So good to have you back!

You'll be happy to know I've forgiven you for ignoring the offer to be my kept man. Unfortunately, directly thereafter, you got yourself back in deep shit again by making no effort to rescue me from the 700 Club. Bill, bill, bill... =sigh= Back to the dungeon with you.

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:51 AM Response to Reply #45

54. damn, I just keep digging myself into a hole

don't I? :) Nice to see you. :)

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:55 AM Response to Reply #54

59. it's not just Wetzelbill

we all dig you

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:22 AM Response to Reply #59

95. Moi? I am an objet d'dig?

Really? Oh gosh, I'm flattered! *bats eyelashes, blushes* Merci beaucoup! uh... vooley voo cooshay avek mwah, ses wah? :7

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:56 AM Response to Reply #54

61. Hey. Which one was you in that biker gang pic?

Nice rant, by the way. I mean... Go away, you heartbreaker! Go run you off to a nunnery. Or something.

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:00 AM Response to Reply #61

64. none, it was just a pic I found on Google

I suppose I could dig up a link of me somewhere.

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:06 AM Response to Reply #64

68. Too bad, it looked like something you would do.

Well, actually it looked like something *I* would do. I do have that school pic of you with hathead, that you hate... why, do you have another?

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:08 AM Response to Reply #68

72. just one from my old bullriding days

no close ups

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:11 AM Response to Reply #72

77. Oh for Pete's sake!

That would be the COOLEST! Post it, man!

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:18 AM Response to Reply #77

83. I did click on one of the links in my

other post. The one when I replied to myself.

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:23 AM Response to Reply #83

85. Bill, okay... that made NO sense.

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:43 AM Response to Reply #85

87. I was trying to tell you to click on this

but yes, I didn't make much sense. :) http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=4389841&mesg_id=4390313

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:06 AM Response to Reply #64

69. ok these might work, two links of pics

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3769357 http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/5a2cabb4/bc/Yahoo!+Photo+Album/Billride2.jpg?pfiLVkDBvPkWyliF

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:51 AM Response to Reply #69

88. The first link is the one I have, and the second link doesn't work.

Says the server can't find the site. Your post makes sense to me know, it just needed a comma before. :)

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 04:12 AM Response to Reply #88

89. damn, see if this works

http://profiles.yahoo.com/wetzelbill

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 04:17 AM Response to Reply #89

90. Yep, worked just fine.

Hey, verrryy cool pic! I am impressed! So what got you interested in riding bulls? Is it something you still do?

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 04:29 AM Response to Reply #90

91. I was raised on a farm

rode horses and stuff since I was little. My dad and some of my relatives competed in rodeos and stuff, so growing up I always knew I would ride bulls. I started off riding steers and cows a little bit when I was really young and then when I was 16 I started riding bulls. I liked it a lot. I had some serious injuries though. I was also a serious wrestler and sort of unwillingly gave up riding bulls for that. My rodeo injuries were affecting my wrestling career so that played a part in my mainly concentrating on one sport.

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 04:55 AM Response to Reply #91

93. You were a serious wrestler?

I should like to see a silly wrestler sometime. You know, tickle your opponent when you get the chance... tell him jokes... I think if you could get him to giggling pretty good he would be much easier to pin. Cool that you grew up on a farm, though. Farm boys are always pretty hot anyway.

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 04:42 PM Response to Reply #93

135. funny you should say that

my signature pinning combination was called "The Tickle Blaster." :) Yes, I walk around with my shirt off, all sweaty from throwing haybales, the sun glinting off my effervescent body. That sort of thing. My manly locks silking in the wind, my gaze, cold and steely, piercing through everyone I look at, like a hot knife through butter. :) Hot? Psh, I wish. I am charmingly inept and pretty funny though. :)

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:01 PM Response to Reply #135

136. Believe it or not...

Charmingly (in any manner) and funny qualifies as "hot" in most women's minds. Besides which you are cute, wise beyond your years, used to ride bulls AND are a very good listener. Therefore you advance past "hot", collect $200., and land squarely in "Demi-God Place." Personally, I'd run with it and buy a hotel.

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Wetzelbill (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 11:29 PM Response to Reply #136

141. You have no idea what you did to my already bloated ego

:) Thank you very much for making my day... uh.. night. :)

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:38 AM Response to Original message

34. Nothing a little elbowgrease and spitshine won't fix.

:D

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:43 AM Response to Reply #34

42. What aisle do they keep the elbowgrease on?

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:46 AM Response to Reply #42

46. I could use some, too

My elbows are kinda dry right now

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:46 AM Response to Reply #42

48. Aisle 11. Right next to the elbow macaroni. Can't miss it.

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:48 AM Response to Reply #48

52. Thank you

:rofl: Do you have basil to go with that, or is the basil fawlty?

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:58 AM Response to Reply #52

62. you are possessed of a towering wit

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:12 AM Response to Reply #62

78. It's just too bad that 'wowering' isn't a word. Or is that an

apocryphalacious belief on my part? :P

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:15 AM Response to Reply #78

81. okay. twit

there I said it, even without inventing "wowering"

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:36 AM Response to Reply #78

99. God. Everything has to be somehow "phalacious" to you, doesn't it?

If you keep it up, I'm going to check you into a 12-Step group.

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 07:06 PM Response to Reply #99

137. I'm addicted to 12-step groups

I'm really phuckt

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 11:07 PM Response to Reply #137

140. Yeah, that would kinda suck. What's next? A thirteen step group?

Well, here. Join my group. It's kind of a "jump-step" group. It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the riiigghhhhht....

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:01 AM Response to Reply #52

65. We keep basil in a separate tower, not the store.

And I don't know about it being fawlty. You'll have to check the expiration date.

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:13 AM Response to Reply #65

80. Excuse me one second. Are you

from Barcelona? Just curious. :P

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 03:25 AM Response to Reply #80

86. You'll have to forgive me. I'm from Barcelona.

Love, Manuel

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 04:36 AM Response to Reply #86

92. Blame it on the Barcelona...

Everybody! Hola!

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:29 AM Response to Reply #86

97. 'Meester Fawlty

I dun' wan' to work here anymore!"

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:38 AM Response to Reply #97

101. Sorry!

*slap* Sorry! *smack* So dreadfully sorry! *slap* (the above also known as Everything You Need To Know About British Society In Less Than Ten Words)

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:47 AM Response to Reply #101

102. 'Do take a seat. I'm sorry it's on fire.'

"Oh, not at all. I got used to this out east." "Where were you out east?" "Oh, Norway, Sweden, places like that. Oh, I'm awfully sorry, my suit seems to keep catching fire."

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:57 AM Response to Reply #102

104. Good accent, dude!

I mean..."old boy." :D

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:05 AM Response to Reply #104

106. Really, y'think?

I mean, I was going for something more Croatian or perhaps a sort of upper-middle Borough-speak. Y'know, kinda like, "Now, see here, Smedley! We can't have this sort of thing!" or "I'll continue shouting down the abos until I'm blue in the bosom!"

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:12 AM Response to Reply #106

109. No, I thought it rather delightful. Frightfully droll, I must say. A

ripping good inning, wot? Pip-pip.

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:15 AM Response to Reply #109

111. Ah, yes. Well played.

Dorchester took eleven wickets and five overs and were naught for naught in the first test. Splendid! Oh... something in a nut?

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:24 AM Response to Reply #111

114. Now that you mention it, the toodle nut of Equatorial Guinea does sport a

fine octet of pips. I say...shall we away to the Bentley and perchance picnic at Kew Gardens? It sounds a perfectly splendid adventure! I shall ask Cook to ensure that we have a sufficiency of sardine sandwiches, Aunt’s fruit cake, lashings of ginger beer, and a bone for Timmy. Super!

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:31 AM Response to Reply #114

119. Witness I

reduced to globules of rectified oleomargarine on a Scotchgard™ed, second-hand office chair with rotting arm rests. That is to say, :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Well done, Squiffy! Jolly good! :applause:

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:35 AM Response to Reply #119

121. Rectified oleomargarine? Dude - live and let live, and all, but that's TMI

:D Bravo, yourself, good sir! :applause: Good show! Huzzah!

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:55 AM Response to Reply #97

103. Hey Rex!

Aw, you followed the scent of freshly popped popcorn here, didn't you? And you came to protect me from the Philistines, right? You know I'll always share my popcorn with you! :popcorn: On second thought, I hope our little "popcorn for protection" arrangement doesn't run afoul of the RICO statutes. Hmmm...

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:59 AM Response to Reply #103

105. Philistines?

Who's Phyllis? Could it be?.... :o

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:10 AM Response to Reply #105

108. Mom!!

It's been so long... :cry: Would you mind returning the curlers and the waffle iron?

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:13 AM Response to Reply #108

110. THAT's how she gets her hair like that?

A waffle iron? Huh. Always nice to see a Mother And Child Reunion.

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:18 AM Response to Reply #110

112. The waffle iron is for

her toenails. The hair is by General Electric. Striking resemblance, no?

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:25 AM Response to Reply #112

115. Shockingly so

Now I know why they had to build Hoover Dam.

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 07:49 AM Response to Reply #108

128. LOL!

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:28 AM Response to Reply #105

118. Yes. It'd Phyllis DeVille.

Formerly Phyllis Steen. She is my main competition around here, and I need protection or she'll cut me up with her deadly hair. Um... can anybody tell me why she has her mink coat on backwards? Is that a new style? Damn. I thought we played that out already with Kris Kross.

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:32 AM Response to Reply #118

120. She's just a DeVille woman, with evil on her mind? Is that what you're

saying? :P And -- look carefully -- it's not her coat that's on backwards; it's her head. She really is a piece of work. :scared:

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:49 AM Response to Reply #120

122. LOL! Again!

:rofl: Darn you, you're going to make my stomach start hurting from laughing so much! God, this is you when you're home sick? Holy shiite. If you were firing on all eight cylinders I'd probably be dead of terminal chronic laughter by now. I don't know what you're home sick from, but I really hope you work as a stand-up comic somewhere. Or even a sit down one. Or a comedy writer. Or something like that. You have a gift and you need to share it, far and wide. Or, you know... hard and deep. Whatever. :o

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:58 AM Response to Reply #122

124. Massage is great for sore tummies

Just sayin' I can see it now: The Hard And Deep Comedy Stylings of ForrestGump. I like it! :loveya: You're good medicine!

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 07:18 AM Response to Reply #124

125. Laughter IS the best medicine! You are brazilliant!

We'll get you up there in the Comedy Cabaret, call it an "office visit" and bill admission directly to the insurance companies! *** Awww... medicine is usually icky, but... as long as I can be your medicine... :loveya: Ohh, aaah spoon fulla sugar makes the medicine... Oh. Oh my! :blush: :yoiks:

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 07:21 AM Response to Reply #125

126. It's swelling again

My head, of course. No, up here. :o Shugah. :P Does insurance cover house calls?

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 07:36 AM Response to Reply #126

127. In the most deeee-liiiight-fullll waaaayyyyyy....

Just sayin' :evilgrin: Hey, you know what? There's a gorgeous sunrise over the lake right now. Thanks for keeping me up to see it. : )

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 07:56 AM Response to Reply #127

130. Sun coming up. Medicine going down (so to speak). Oops. Looks like we

need to go to bed! Beds, I mean. And sleep fast. And hard. :evilgrin:

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 08:19 AM Response to Reply #130

131. I'll be in bed all right.

But I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep for a while. "While visions of sugarplums, kiwis, bananas and other assorted fruitbasket members danced through her bed... head! Danced through her head!..."

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 08:32 AM Response to Reply #131

134. :D It's a good head

You better be in bed, though....I said to myself I'd have you in bed before the sun's up, and look at the time: I have failed to reach that goal by at least thirty minutes. They'll repossess my kiwis... :-( Nightynight, Danger Woman... :hug:

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:08 AM Response to Reply #103

107. Actually, it was

the 'teep' from my Illudium PU-36 Mofo-Dynamic GargantuaServer, which scans the entire internets in 36.4 yoohooseconds looking for references to British comedies. Well, that and the trail of cheap underwear.

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:19 AM Response to Reply #107

113. Excuse me very much,

but I'll have you know that Ms. Amused does NOT wear cheap underwear! I prefer "affordable" "bargain" or, if you must, "rock bottom." That is, when I'm actually wearing any.

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:25 AM Response to Reply #113

116. Allow me

Does madam have a preference as to flavour?

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 07:54 AM Response to Reply #116

129. Mm... does it come in "popcorn"?

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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 08:26 AM Response to Reply #129

132. Let me check the catalogue

Let's see... Broccoli... Haddock... Old Spice... Ambergris... Plutonium... U.S. Marine Corps All-Girl Marching Fife and Water Buffalo Revue... Schnectady... :shrug: Sorry... apparently not. :(

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Dangerously Amused (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 08:32 AM Response to Reply #132

133. Damn. Well, broccoli was my second choice anyway.

:thumbsup:

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ForrestGump (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 06:27 AM Response to Reply #113

117. It's true

Before she made me take them off, so I could rub my fruitbasket all over her body, I had on a pair of her underwear and I can vouch for the quality. What? No, really, there's a perfectly innocent explanation!

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ashling (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:55 AM Response to Original message

58. Well, I'm certainly glad you asked that question

We've been meaning to talk to you for some ..er, time ... now ... Oh, I've got to go check on my raisin bread !

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 02:56 AM Response to Reply #58

60. don't get above your raisin

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In_The_Wind (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:09 AM Response to Original message

94. Nothing ...

that I know of

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 07:08 PM Response to Reply #94

138. good evening Joan_Alpern

You just don't know me well enough yet which is one thing that's wrong with me no doubt.

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Race4Peace (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 05:37 AM Response to Original message

100. 2 things...

Edited on Sat Dec-03-05 05:39 AM by Race4Peace #1 www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/you.html #2 /badluck.swf

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leftofthedial (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Dec-03-05 07:09 PM Response to Reply #100

139. Well someone got it right

A total frigging idiot

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