In the GD forum, someone posted a thread about 15 new vehicles that don;t use gasoline, and how they might make an impact. One problem with the list was that most of the vehicles in question were fucking JOKES. So I decided to take the time to evaluate them. See how they did:
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Yeah, like I'm gonna drive this. I may have loved Steve Urkel as a kid, but I'll be damned if I have to drive a car that looks just like his VW Isetta. F
This is very interesting, and I might actually like using this on occasion to move around my campus, but then I realized that I have a little thing called LEGS, and the ability to do a little something called WALKING. Just a Segway knockoff. B- as a mobility vehicle, F as a "car"
I really like this scooter, and if I had the money, I'd buy one of these to use in the summertime. Very classy. A-
This scooter looks very spiffy, but I like the first one more. Still, no complaints here. C+
I'm not into riding bikes, and this one looks like the front wheel system is detatching from the gears. D-
Now we're talking HOT SHIT here. THIS is my winter car. Put some 4-wheel drive and de-icing windshield wipers on it, and you got yourself a deal, my friend. A
You have got to be fucking kidding me. F
I remember seeing these things when I used to work as a preschool teacher. The kids would always fight over who would get to use one of these first during gym playtime. I might actually be interested in something like this if I was less than 4 feet tall and 55 pounds. F
Mr. Smart Car, meet Mr. Wind. Mr. Wind, PLEASE try to go easy on Mr. Smart Car and spare the driver his life. F
Has every human on Earth quickly become a contortionist over the past week and not informed me about it?? How the fuck is ANY adult supposed to fit into most of these god-awful things?? Jesus. F
Didn't I say on the very first one that I DIDN'T want an Isetta?? F
Oh now, HERE'S something I need to be fuel conscious and STILL make it to work every morning through the rush hour traffic, a SAILBOAT!!! Well slap my penis and call me a yellow-bellied fart sniffer!! Why didn't I think of using a SAILBOAT before?? And you just KNOW I'll look sharp driving to work in one of THESE puppies. "Hey Bob, did you see SmileyBoy drive into work this morning in that SHARP new SAILBOAT he's got??", "Yeah, he's a motherfucking PIMP!!! I bet he gets all kinds of tail with that thing." Pure genoius. F----------------------------------- and on and on and on
Do you think maybe THIS is the reason why lots of people make fun of liberals and environmentalists?? J
You can forget about ever having sex for the rest of your life if you drive one of these things. Your penis will be VERRRRRY lonely, but your eco-consciousness will feel GREAT!!! Who wants to ever have sex again when you won't ever have to worry about gas prices for the rest of your life?? P
You're beating this thing to death, people. No one wants to drive a car shaped like a dinosaur turd. Z-
This is actually a damn good idea for mass transit, as long as it makes feasible sense. Good for Barcelona. A much needed A
And that's it.