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ThomWV Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 02:26 PM
Original message
Christmas In India - A Serious Question
Well, not in India. Christmas as relates to a person from India would have been a better way to say it.

My son's girlfriend is from India. She is Hindu. Is it appropriate to buy her a Christmas Present? Well, maybe not call it a Christmas present but something, you know what I mean. One thing for certain, I will not have this young woman, who both my wife and I think the world of, feeling like the fucking Lone Ranger while everyone else is trading toys. At the same time I refuse to offend the girl and I'm a little afraid that giving a present on a Christian holiday (one its face anyway) might have that effect.

Any advice?
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 02:28 PM
Response to Original message
1. You have to buy her a gift.
There doesn't have to be a religious overtone to it. If everyone is receiving a gift, no one should be left out. I think the larger potential for offending her would be to leave her out, rather than including her.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 02:29 PM
Response to Original message
2. I'd check with your
son and see what he thinks would be appropriate.
Personally, I'd give her something if she's going to be joining your festivities and everyone else will be unwrapping gifts. I give people of different/no faiths gifts during the season all the time. I've never had anyone be offended by it, they usually take it for what it is: I want them to feel included and I care enough to think about them.
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hippywife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 02:29 PM
Response to Original message
3. I would say that
giving her a gift would be totally appropriate to make her feel included. You could even preface it with something like, "While I know this holiday isn't a part of your faith tradition, we think the world of you and wanted you to feel a part of the family."
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aePrime Donating Member (676 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
4. I'd buy her a present
Given, I don't know anything about Hinduism, but I'd buy her a present. When you give it to her, tell her you know this isn't her custom. I think she'd appreciate it.
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Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
5. Somewhat though question,
and I think you should ask her how she feels about it. But given the whole shades of being Hindu and living together with other religions, I don't think she'll be offended by any rate but welcome.

I'm a devout buddhist and celebrate Christmas.
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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 02:58 PM
Response to Original message
6. Yeah, buy her a present
Hindus don't celebrate Christmas, but she won't mind if you get her a present. And as you point out, she may feel left out without one. And Hindus are generally very liberal-minded. :)
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tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. The Hindu family just down the road from me
have the most gaudy lights of anybody in the road.

I'd say that Hinduism is possibly the most open to other faiths of all the major world religions (though folks like the B.J.P. possibly not so much).

Did you know that a Hindu group requested (and received) permission to worship at the Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima? During the resultant kerfuffle afterwards the 'cleric' (I don't want to use a technical term as I'm bound to get it wrong) who lead them there stated that they worship the Virgin Mary as a goddess.
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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. In my experience Hindus will worship anybody!
:rofl:

I heard that Christian missionaries went to India and told the locals that they should worship Jesus. So they said, okay whatever, and just put Christ up on the altar along with all the other deities!

You're right about the BJP, they're a bunch of loonies. They're essentially the political front to the RSS, who are totally way-out-there wacko. They're the kind of nutters who set fire to a train load of muslims.
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proud2BlibKansan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
7. If she is going to be there when you open presents,
then get her something to open. That would be the polite thing I would think.
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lakemonster11 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 04:27 PM
Response to Original message
10. If she's going to be there
when you're opening presents, I say definitely get her one. I would probably wrap it in non-Christmas paper, though.

Another option could be to give them a joint present (tickets to an event or gift certificates for a restaurant or some activity they could do together).

There's a Hindu family that comes to our annual caroling party. They seem pretty interested in our traditions and and were even talking about putting up a tree in their house this year, because their little son loves them.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
11. You should buy the present, if it bugs her she can refuse it.
To enact a presents for christians only policy would be more offensive than to offer someone a gift that they might feel obligated to refuse.
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CatBoreal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
12. I'd give her a present...
if she asks, say it's a late Diwali present

http://www.reachgujarat.com/diwali.htm

Also, mention that since she's taking part in your holiday celebrations, you'd like to know a little more about hers - start a dialogue about it. Maybe you can take part in hers next year.
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smirkymonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 06:32 PM
Response to Original message
13. Just make sure it's not beef.
Otherwise, I think a gift would be a nice gesture.
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DeposeTheBoyKing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 06:35 PM
Response to Original message
14. You should give her a gift
We're Muslim (I converted from Christianity), but we still exchange gifts and put up a tree (when there's not a silly young cat in the home who will knock it over every 5 seconds!). I like to preserve my traditions, as well. She will probably enjoy observing your family's traditions.

BTW, we're going to a Christmas party on Christmas Eve at a Hindu couple's home!
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 06:41 PM
Response to Original message
15. Oh hell yes.
I'm an atheist and I buy Christmas presents for other atheists.
They buy 'em for me.
Can't fight Christmas.
;-)
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 08:50 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. Yeah. We're an atheist family w/ a tree and presents.
My parents didn't believe in a god but that didn't stop us from having holiday fun.
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jmm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 07:08 PM
Response to Original message
16. If she would be offended by a gift then
she wouldn't come with your son while you all celebrate the holiday together. If it was a situation where you wouldn't see her on Christmas then I would ask your son how she feels but since you will be seeing her then it's a safe bet you can get her a gift.
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Terran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
17. My sister's S.O. is a Sikh
from India, but he happily participates in all my family's Christmas frivolities. Definitely get the young lady something, and make it pretty and/or festive and I bet you she'll be very pleased!
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hickman1937 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 08:50 PM
Response to Original message
18. The best part of Christmas is the giving, not the getting.
Give her gifts. You obviously are not trying to evangelize her. Give her gifts. Let her know that Christmas is not only a celebration of the birth of Jesus, but also a celebration of the human ability to take joy in the giving. I suspect that Hindu's have known this all along.
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JI7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 10:47 PM
Response to Original message
20. since she is dating your son who i assume is Christian
or at least not Hindu, i think giving her a present and calling it a Christmas present should be fine. if she was a Hindu in a very strict sense that she would be offended by christmas gifts , she probably is the type that wouldn't date outside the religion either.

i grew up in a hindu family in America and we always give gifts to others. most aren't "exclusive" when it comes to hinduism. of course it depends on the specific person.

for many Hinduism is more of a cultural thing rather than a religious belief.
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JI7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-18-05 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. also, Christmas is a national holiday in India
Edited on Sun Dec-18-05 10:56 PM by JI7
i remember as a kid we would get christmas cards from family and friends in india. and they were mostly hindu also.
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Dangerously Amused Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-19-05 12:05 AM
Response to Original message
22. I also recommend a gift for her.


All I can add is to make it nothing too extravagant, so she won't feel embarrassed if she doesn't bring anything to give in return.
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RFKHumphreyObama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-19-05 03:59 AM
Response to Original message
23. My sister's in-laws are Hindu and so is my BIL
Edited on Mon Dec-19-05 03:59 AM by socialdemocrat1981
And we're giving them all gifts for Christmas and they have been known to give us for Christmas. All the Hindus I know are very accommodating and accepting people when it comes to other faiths and their traditions and I have been given and have given gifts to more than a few of them at Christmas
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clyrc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-19-05 04:47 AM
Response to Original message
24. My family buys our Pakistani friend Christmas presents
He really doesn't seem to mind. Buy her a present. It's a nice gesture.
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Starbucks Anarchist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-19-05 04:56 AM
Response to Original message
25. I'm Indian, and I celebrate Christmas.
I'm not a Hindu, but I don't have to go to work and I get presents, so I celebrate that. :)
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JCMach1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-19-05 05:37 AM
Response to Original message
26. Sheesh... buy her a present...!
Unless she is a fundamenalist Hindu (and yes there are some), she shouldn't mind.
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JCMach1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-19-05 05:37 AM
Response to Reply #26
27. BTW my Muslim Pakistani friends are expecting their presents
Underneath the xmas tree...
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