So, iff your only son has four more years in prison,

how do you keep his spirits up?

Books, magazines?

Encouraging him to think of his future?

I have a colleague whose son was in prison 12 years. 8, then parole, then 4 more. He was afraid of life on the outside. His problem, sadly, is crack and he is still using.

It is a scourge. I wish you well.

The bookss I sent to him are eight weeks late.
I din;t know what is keeping the delivery sloe.

What a country

I have the feeling he is still scamming me,

and I never met an inmate that wasn't a pro at manipulation.

The trick is you love them anyway, I guess. It's a lot like living with an alcoholic.

I'd suggest Zen materials as being good for someone in that position. Living in the now, etc. Mindfulness.

I wil never stop loving that guy,Thanks for helping
others that are in similar situations.

He has been on a painting crew.

you are one of those that ministers to
my son, or his mates.

Thank you TallahasseeGrannie

:pals: :pals:

What an awful situation to find yourself and your beloved son in.....

I do think that TG has the good idea here...what are his interests, hobbies and like that?

Wish I could help more.......:loveya: :hug: :pals: :cry:

:loveya:

:loveya: back atcha.....

My son calls me from prison, my son calls me from prison.

My son



calls

me FROM PRISON>

I now understand the phrase 'bad sailor'

My son calls me


from prison.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

(I am not all that religious but I have always loved that saying.)

I have one of 'those kids' too. He has done a few months here and there and it is my constant worry that one day he will face a longer time behind bars.

If and when that happens, I will remember there are DUers who understand.

I don't know how I will handle that if he goes back long term.

I lied, I will visit him anytime anywhere.

write a book about his experience.

He has seen a lot, a lot more than most people want to believe and a lot more than you need to know.

If he writes a journal, if he puts it on paper, it will help him deal with his experiences because he is not bottling them up, he is releasing them to the paper.

If he is draws, encourage him to include drawings with his journal, to incorporate the two. Give him something to do that he may be able to put to good use when he gets out.

It is possible that his work alone could be published or that a ghost writer could help him get it to a point where a publishing company would want to publish it.

It's also my experience that folks in jail do find God while in jail, the religious organizations provide them with a distraction from the tedious life in the prison. They get to attend services and talk to outsiders, to sing hymns and to just do something different.

Help him find something that he can work towards completing that he can put to good use outside of the walls.

Good luck, Ptah, I know this time of year is hard for folks with family away, whether they be in the military or in prison - you are both in my prayers (if that is okay).

:hug:

and I don't care if I see it or not.
Your response i gratifying.
Your recent troubles are far beyond anthing I]have ever experienced.
I hope you FEMA trailor keeps you sheltered.
You are a good'n.
Sketching and drawing are skills I hope he studies.
Your hugs help me make it through the night.

:cry: :hug:

:hug: :hug:

It's going to be tough for him.

I think we don't invest enough in this country in helping our prisoners to succeed when they are freed.

It will be tough to get a job, I expect. Maybe you can help him to develop his own business ideas. Maybe that sounds crazy, but it doesn't have to be.

Does he have any skills? Are there any he can learn while doing time?

Just a suggestion.

How can I help him adje=ust to the 'outside'.
Will his grandparents be alive then?




No, they won't.

If it were my child I would try to make that subject something to be discussed.

We all make mistakes; and some mistakes seem irretreivable.

Look, I don't know what you should do. I don't know your son.

If it were my son, this is what I'd like to think I'd do. You cannot change the present and you cannot change the past, but you can change the future. Were I in your son's position I would be sustained by a belief in the future. It would be the most important thing I owned.

Hell things don't always go great in my life either. But I am very much focused on the future.

Back in the late 80's and early 90's my ex's son did time in San Quentin. We sent him cigs, books, motivational tapes, etc. He turned his life around, without benefit of religious BS. We still keep in touch, and today, he's a supermarket manager in western Colorado. There's hope, friend, but it'll take time:hug:

really helped?

I feel better hearing about his persistance.

:hug: :pals:
shiny side up

it did. If only from knowing someone on the "outside" cared. Jim and your son are lucky in that they have(had) folks who care for them. Most prisoners don't. You and your son are in my prayers. Happy Holidays, my friend. Shiny side always up :hug: :pals:

...this can't be easy.

I wish I had a suggestion for you. I've never been near a situation like this.

The only thing I can think of is maybe some correspondence courses so that maybe he can go to college or a trade school when he gets out. If he works hard and gets good marks, that could boost his confidence level.

Many, many :grouphug:s

skills. He is on the painting crew for now.
His
math skills are storng also.
Thank you, CatBoreal, for noticing my
situation. I will pass on to my son that there are folks
out here that will help.

:pals:

You're already helping so much by visiting. My father worked in a prison for many years, and having visitors is so important to an inmate's morale. Not only do you keep in him in touch with the outside world, but you keep him from getting in more trouble because he won't want to miss a visit.

I think the best gift are things that personalize his world. He doesn't have any say in clothes, food, sleeping, so something that reminds of he is not really a number is important-- photographs, a poster, drawing from a young relative. Or, something to pass time-- books, art supplies, journal, a box of greeting cards, playing cards. Every prison allows different items, so check first. Also, encourage him to learn new trades and take any available class.

Best of luck to you and your son.


***PSA: I have to jump on my soapbox to suggest that people donate old books to prisons. A tremendous number of inmates can't read, and funding is always being cut. All books are needed, including children's books, novels, and text books. Teaching someone to read, write, and do math is the real way to make our street safer.

My daughter and I send pictures.
His other sisters send photos and letters.
We all (Me, his Mother, sisters (three)) talk to
him three times a week.


I am thankful for your understanding and support.

Happy holidays to Lady President and her family.
:pals:

Sounds like you are doing things to help him fill his time - which he needs.

All I would suggest is to tell him how much you love him and hope for his future. Someone in his position cannot hear that too much.


Tough situation. hugs to all of you.

And we are both telling the truth.

It sucks not being able to have a contact visit.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

I've had my issues with my son and feared what you are going through. I can imagine your pain but I'm sure it's worse than I even think it is. I'll keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers :hug:

this must be a lot like loving an alcoholic (something I have some experience with) first off, take care of yourself. There simply must be support groups for families with loved ones behind bars, find one. If only a message board. There have been millions of people where you are today, and there are lessons to be learned about how you can help, both him and yourself.

Prison Talk Online { www.prisontalk.com/ }

Thank you for the suggestion, northax.

:hi: