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What Your Life Would Be If You Married Jessica Simpson

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Yavin4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 11:43 AM
Original message
What Your Life Would Be If You Married Jessica Simpson
Edited on Mon Dec-26-05 11:57 AM by Yavin4
You would have to say things like:

"Yes, honey, I'd love to go to your sister's concert."

"Wow, your sister has a new CD out? Let's listen to it."
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evlbstrd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 11:45 AM
Response to Original message
1. A living Hell.
I can't imagine the altered state I'd have to be in to even get to that point.
And I've been pretty altered in my time.
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 11:48 AM
Response to Original message
2. A same-sex Wackyland
It would be groundbreaking in a very weird way.
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Jed Dilligan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:22 PM
Response to Original message
3. bitter, with a plasticky aftertaste
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:24 PM
Response to Original message
4. Over
:scared:
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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
5. The time has come for me to ask
Who is Jessica Simpson?
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:29 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Exactly
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:30 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. This person:


Only less realistic.
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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Is she about to blow herself up?
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. She's making a political statement, at the Lancome counter -- they're
out of, like, her favorite eyeliner.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:30 PM
Response to Original message
8. One long porn shoot
:D
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #8
14. Except she didn't do the, um, shooting...
:yoiks:
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:32 PM
Response to Original message
9. It would be difficult for me to hear her speak
What with her face in the pillow all the time.

*ducking, fleeing*
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tuvor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-28-05 10:49 PM
Response to Reply #9
20. Same here, but for different reasons.
Her speaking voice is grating as hell.
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4morewars Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
10. I'd rather gouge my eye out...
with a spoon.
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:51 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. Yeah
Edited on Mon Dec-26-05 12:52 PM by WilliamPitt


Sharing a bed with her would be awful.

Just awful.
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Lochloosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. I agree...awful
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Wapsie B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. I agree.
She'd either have her face buried in that pillow or she'd have a great view of the ceiling.

I believe she needs a dom. I truly do.
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tavalon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-28-05 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. Actually, it might well be
I've heard tell (okay, it's gossip. Unconfirmable) that beautiful celebrity types never really bother to build their skills "in bed". They just lie there and expect the other person to be awed by their looks. Sounds like fun, eh?

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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-26-05 12:48 PM
Response to Original message
13. I saw her leaked porno...
I'd probably be bored. She just doesn't know how to do it, unlike all of the amateur videos I've seen... she cheated poorly too.

:hide:

Still, she is a status symbol and that means more to most people... :shrug:
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LSK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-28-05 10:47 PM
Response to Original message
19. i'd call her once a week from my villa in southern France
Ahhh to be loaded.....
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