Should we tell my cousin we don't like her Christmas meals?

For the first 30 or so years of my life, Christmas was always at my grandmother's house. She made her fantastic special homemade spaghetti & lasagna for the day. However, after her husband of 60 years passed away a little while after Christmas in '95, she's also been too old to host a big Christmas party. So, it's moved to my cousin's house.

While she may be one of the nicest people in the world, and she organizes a good party, my wife, myself and my brother don't really like her food. However, everybody else in the family tells her the food is delicious, so it's basically been the same XMas meal every year - salad, baked ham, lasagna. My wife will eat some salad, but she basically despises anything with tomato /marinara sauce on it - she's only been in this country for 6 1/2 years now, and it was a chore for me to get her to like some varieties of Italian food, but at least she eat Italian dishes with white sauces on them now.

My mom & her sister (my cousin's mother) do bring some side dishes/deserts.

Should we tell my cousin we don't like her meals? Should we suggest a bit more variety? Should my wife offer to bring a special Chinese holiday dish, so at least she won't starve for 8 hours on Christmas day 2006? Should we just suck it up and endure the bad food?

Any other suggestions?

1) Eat before you go to her home.

2) Offer to make it more of a potluck so she does not have to do all the work.

No...do not tell her you don't like her food. That would be ungracious and hurtful.

Or bring dishes that you know you all will like. I believe it's poor manners to tell the host you don't like her meals, or tell her what she ought to be cooking.

Why doesn't your wife bring traditional dishes from her country?

Bring in a dish, but do not tell the hostess you don't like the food. It would be in very bad taste.

to celebrate the holiday in different ways. Just encourage more of a potluck and tell the hostess that you are just trying to help out. If they are family, you should just tell her that it would make your wife feel more comfortable to bring a little of her own "flavor."

Otherwise, I recommend that you host. Might be a nice change.

I believe Ann Landers used to recommend that you eat something before you go over there, and politely nibble at the dining table.

Is the food important enough to make an issue over it?

we spend a few hours over at my parent's house & then rush to go down there. I guess we could eat my my parent's house.

My wife kind of considers it an insult that they don't ask what type of food that she would like (if she was a vegetarian, she'd really be screwed down there...) and she's too polite to tell them to make another type of food.

of people at that party, she couldn't possibly make the foods that every one will like. Just bring a couple of dishes in, considering your other relatives do.

Tell her it's a special recipe that your wife would love to share w/ everyone as a special thank you to your family for having been so kind to her. Chances are your hostess will jump at it and love the idea.
Your cousin could possibly be in a rut. She might think that everyone expects the same meal, year after year. Knowing that there will be something different there might give her the opportunity to make something different.
Or you could do something like we've done in the past. Offer to host the holiday party next year(tell her that you'd love to give her a break next year after all of her years of hard work). Ask everyone if they would like to make it into a buffet-each family attending could bring their speciality to the party for everyone to share. If that works out well it might become a family tradition.

Offer to help out by bringing some of your favourite dishes. Offer her help in the kitchen. Offer to host the event yourselves one year.

But please don't be such a poopyhead as to tell an individual who's put herself out for the sake of a family holiday that you don't much care for her efforts. We'll have to dispatch someone to thump you upside the head, and that's just going to be inconvenient for everyone.

telling the cousin you don't like her food is mean after you've let it go on this long, and no one could have ever imagined that there was anyone on the planet who disliked lasagne or marinara sauce, will admit it's a first for me

at best after all these years, you can only say your wife may have developed some food allergies or got a special diet from her doctor, any polite fib to allow her to bring her own supplies

but don't wait 6-1/2 years to mention you don't like the food, it's just too late, your cousin will feel terrible, at this point you can never ever say you don't like the food unless you really don't like the cousin

..like Shit!

Seriously, if you want to, you can tell your family that your wife comes w/ her own family traditions and that she'd like to share them w/ you all. This may mean your wife brings a dish w/ you, or you hold the party at your house.

Other than that.... nope. Keep quiet.

does not know how to cook and makes the worst salad, the worst ham, the worst lasagna...

otherwise ...

if the problem is yours and not hers, some of the suggestions above are really good, they are a way of introducing some of what you like and eat into some of what she prepares and offers.

happy eating to all next time around.