Tips Needed For How to see the Lighter /Brighter Side of LIfe

and not be overly dramatic. Please advise away.

want to change. My goal this coming New Year is to still care and try to do what's best, without working myself into an emotional exhaustion which doesn't help me or anyone.

scare us like that.

My advice: think of things that really wound you up a few years ago and turned out to be no big deal, and then the next time you're wound up, think to yourself "a few years down the road, I'll look back at this and laugh." It works. Trust me.

I didn't realize what the parentheses made it look like. I went back and fixed it.

That is good advice. I've worried myself into a tizzy lots before over things that turned out okay in the end.

In the situations where things didn't go so well, in retrospect, I guess worrying about it ahead of time didn't change it, so I guess it is time to let the worry go.

Laughing about it later is a good idea too.

Laugh at the little things that usually would piss you off. Find humor in things that aren't funny. Remember that tomorrow is a new day. That is the motto I live by! :)

I think you are right about seeking the humor even in situations that seem difficult and making a fresh start each day.

Sometimes I'm a massive dork and I do goofy things. Ya just gotta laugh. Not EVERYTHING is the end of the world. I couldn't walk around with that much stress.

That is good advice. The other day I got mad at myself because I put the package of meat in the scissor drawer instead of in the refrigerator after I had opened it. I discovered it in time, so the meat didn't go bad, so no harm done. So the next time I just need to have a good chuckle.

You might cause someone to panic :P

Then make sure to laugh at every opportunity.

and Thank You. :hug: I didn't realize what the parentheses made it look like. Sorry if I scared anyone.

I guess how I should word it is I am looking for tips on how to look on the lighter side of life.

Keep in mind that there has never been a person who didn't make a mistake or a bad choice in their life. Every single person that has ever lived has done at least one thing wrong.

Also remember that life is an adventure and there is no need to race to the finish line.

I've never been adventurous prefering to play it safe. But I think I've missed out on a lot of fun over the years because of it. Since I am in my forties, I still probably have at least another forty left to see and find the adventures in life.

I don't do as much as I used to do, but I am always looking for something new to learn or something to do. I like adding things to my resume of life because... well, because I can.

Some topics I've been thinking of learning more about is Astronomy and Celtic Lore.

I also have to get up my nerve and find an excercise program that isn't too expensive. Not just to loose weight although that can't hurt, but a lot of people are saying it helps lift the mood too.

When you get old like me you realise perfection is questionable. The other guy always seems to have it together, nope. Keeping ones mind open makes life interesting. I was once a republican, it all made sense. When it hit me that Nixon, Reagan and bush were full of sh-t I got over feeling dumb and started thinking.

Think positive and keep learning. Also, learn to like yourself, no apologies for your screw-ups. This is my motto. That includes my dumb posts. ha. They make perfect sense when typing.

when a sociology professor showed us a film of some people living in absolute poverty including infants, and he said "tell me they are poor because they want to be poor like Regean says."

It was that and learning of their horrid record on women's rights, that made me turn my back on that party forever.

I have a conscience and I care so I knew then and there that I had to be a Democrat, if I wanted to look myself in the mirror.

Your posts are definitely not dumb. Thank you. :hug:

work to try to see the bright side.

One of the main things that helps me is the "day at a time" school of thought.Corny,but it works. Every time I get all twitchy over something I ask myself,"Is there anything I can do about this today?" If the answer is "No" then I set it aside in my mind.

Another thing that helps me is repeating "The good times pass,the bad times pass".

And last,but definitely not least,is the fact that I have no power over other people's behaviour. As the mother of five and grandmother of seven this really helps.

I am trying to do better at staying rooted in the present moment.

Accepting that I can't change other people's behavior is a biggie for me too. I guess as long as I stay true to my own convictions and do my best, even if nothing changes in the world as a result of it, then I don't have to feel so bad about things.

"Into every life some rain must fall, for how else shall the flowers bloom?"

:D :P :D I think I read that somewhere, or maybe I just made it up myself.... Me! The cynical, negative one! :P

When I was discussing this with some one on this side of the computer, they said, you need the feterlizer too make the flowers grow. Which is also true.

So I guess the gloomy poopy days are the rain and fertilizer.

Thanks. :pals:

Glad to see someone else thinks as queerly as I do.

:hug:

At least when it comes to curbing the stress of modern life...

:rofl:

Seriously. I do yoga, I spend an hour just focusing on my body and what I can do, and I leave feeling better, and often with some spiritual gems I can think about in the coming day. There are many different kinds of yoga, so look around and see what's available in your area, and if you try one that you don't like, try another teacher. Yoga keeps me sane, keeps me happy, keeps me healthy. I heartily recommend it! :)

alone for 48 hours. (Truely life and death situations do not apply, but they are very, very rare, unless you are a cop, doctor, fireperson, etc.)

One of the hardest things to do is just leave stuff alone to work itself out. That's one of the things I've learned lately.

And the other thing is to remember that nothing really is all that important, when you really think about it.

Short description: Cognitive distortions are the ways of thinking that torture us unnecessarily and can be dealt with (providing relief) by looking at situations realistically. David Burns discusses this at length in his book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy." Here's a link and a list:

http://healthymind.com/s-distortions.html

"All-or-nothing thinking: You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.


"Overgeneralization: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.


"Mental filter: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.


"Disqualifying the positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they 'don't count' for some reason or other. You maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.


"Jumping to conclusions: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.


"Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you and don't bother to check it out.


"The Fortune Teller Error: You anticipate that things will turn out badly and feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.


"Magnification (catastrophizing) or minimization: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else's achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other fellow's imperfections). This is also called the 'binocular trick.'


"Emotional reasoning: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: 'I feel it, therefore it must be true.'


"Should statements: You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn'ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. 'Musts' and 'oughts' are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.


"Labeling and mislabeling: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself: 'I'm a loser.' When someone else's behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him, 'He's a damn louse.' Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.


"Personalization: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event for which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible."

It's a pretty safe bet that most of us do these things at one time or another, :blush: so don't be too hard on yourself. :hug:

I do every, single one of those.

Kick for a good post!

and I have engaged in that kind of thinking a lot too. It's a good reminder that thoughts no matter how automatic or right they may seem at the time, aren't always rational. :hug:

The ability to consider both sides.

Repubs can't do that, my way or the highway theory seems to go along with their ability to blindly follow, be it bush or a religion.

is one of the most important tasks in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which I highly recommend to anybody suffering from a mood disorder. It is highly effective and easy to learn. David Burns' book teaches a form of it, so you don't necessarily need to see a therapist to reap the benefits of this very helpful form of assitance. :thumbsup:

Remember that people are as happy as they make up their minds to be. It's all about where you put your eyes. What will you focus on?

It's always easy for me to do this. I learned how at a very early age out of necessity. I have come to learn that it's not so easy for others, and that some actually get pissed at you when you try to help them see that things are really not so bad, so now I just try to keep my yap shut most times.

the reminder that there are positive things to think about too. I did stop watching the news because they focus on the negative so much. Now I just have to find things to start thinking about that are happy.

I did see a beautiful Red Cardninal today in the bird feeder.

Not that not watching the news is the answer, but balance that by actively appreciating when you're having a good time.

This, again, reminds me of an anecdote I heard recently about a man who as a child knew someone who would always make it a point to mention when he was having fun. The kid would be sitting outside under a tree with the guy, and he'd just say "we're sure having a good time, aren't we!" It seems many people don't really appreciate when they're enjoying themselves. Perhaps if we all made it a point to really appreciate those times, we'd view our bad times as more in balance than out of. Yeah that probably didn't make any sense, but I'm tired of typing just now.

Easiest way in the world to always (or almost always) see the positive.

I have to keep reminding myself that I can't take the credit or the blame for "everything" that goes on in my little portion of the world.

Things happen that sometimes have nothing to do with me.

Lots of good advice above, Lynn. That cognitive, mentally reframing stuff can be very helpful. Here's a link to a page I teach inner clearing and healing from. I suggest the circle, the hand on the heart meditation and the easy breathing. It'll take you longer to read them than to do them.

http://www.shambhudance.com/wst_page3.php

I have book marked the site and will definitely be reading it.

I'd be honored to hear what results you get so we can fine tune things for you.

Birds know how to live. They eat, shit, mate, raise children, and don't dwell on death.

I watch them feed through my kitchen window and appreciate the way they simply exist.

is wonderful. I do have some bird feeders around. They are so beautiful and sometimes even funny to watch.

We have lots of Wood peckers, Blue Jays, and Chickadees right now. The crows also crack me up with they way they waddle and squawk at each other.

There are also a few cardinals. I think they are gorgeous. I love their red feathers.

You're right about watching the way they simply exist. I hadn't thought about it that way before, but I will from now on.

Maybe it's because they're so maligned. They're very clever and intelligent. I appreciate and respect their wildness; but there's a part of me that would like to have one as a pet, or at least as a tame visitor.

I've had as many as 12 cardinals (male and female) in my yard thus far this winter. Our back yard is rather overgrown (ok, it's a jungle out there), and they like to nest here. I've named one of the males Cowlick, because he has one oddly-colored feather on his back...paler red than the rest of his plumage. He sits at the feeder quite calmly as I watch him.

Enjoy your friends! :hug:

Best of luck. :hug:

I am thinking about volunteering in the local hospital. Maybe pushing the book cart or reading to the kids. I love to read and maybe sharing that love with others will help.

...is to let go.

I've been hanging onto the past far too long, and now it is time to let it go.

I need to remind myself of it often enough. :7

I find it's rare that someone is intentionally hurtful. Forgive the small rudenesses without a second thought (cancelled plans, unkind slights, thoughtless comments). If you hold onto that stuff, it just seethes around inside. Forgive it.

And I agree that yoga DOES help. A lot.

the little every day hurts and even the bigger ones.

There is a local health and wellness center connected to our local hospital that does have Yoga so I will look into it.

Thank you. :hug:

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But seriously, watch some python--always helps me to not be overly dramatic and laugh a little bit. Cause "life's a piece of shit, when you look at it, ooh...."

:(

"Always look on the bright side of life..."

I was just here 3 minutes before you, that's all.

"everyone who shouldn't be here, please raise your hand."

is a tie between the Parrot and Spam. :)

But I think I would be drawn to the physical comedy of John Cleese if asked for my favorite skit.

Which brings me to my tie:
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The lighter (if not always brighter) side is always there if you're ready to see it. Even tragedy usually has its comic elements, including those that happen to you. The trick is to be able to see it but to not be cinsumed by it all lose all reference points...same as anything else in life, really.

As for the 'picture everyone naked' thing...well, some of us are naturally better at it than others. My curse is that I am truly gifted in this sense. :-)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=4484208

Redstone

That was beautiful. Thank you. Especially for the reminder that none of us are alone because we have each other. All of you here at DU are wonderful. Each of you proove every day that there are people in the world who care. That's what the democratic party is all about. It is why I became one because I wanted to be part of a community that cared.

Life of Brian
"...always look on the bright side of life..."

Seriously...
and I really really mean this
read Richard Bach:
Illusions
One
Running From Saftey

is hysterical. I have seen the Parrot skit and the Spam one. A friend always used to sing the Lumberjack song as well.

The cable company does carry BBC America so I will have to watch some episodes for sure.

Thank you.

I willl also definitely check out the book by Bach as well.

for my comments on Python.

Alone or with others : Random Acts of Kindness.org

wherein you record only the things for which you are grateful, or in which you find beauty. (You can keep another one for venting and kvetching if you like). Write something in it every day. It can be a small thing such as the colours of the sunrise, or a pair of shoes on sale in your size. Your goal is to rebuild and keep in touch with your emotional catalogue.

Often what happens when we focus overly on the negative, is that we grow a kind of faulty catalogue. We forget or we minimise the impact of good things in our lives and emotionally erase their existence. For instance you might be so focused on one poopyhead at work that the energy you put into thinking about those interactions completely erases 3 little kindnesses performed by other coworkers from your memory.

The times people have criticized me has seemed to stay in my mind longer and have the greater impact on me emotionally, then the times people have praised me. I always dismiss the good things as people just trying to be kind, not believing that they do it because they like me. And I also tend to not give myself credit for the good or kind things I do.

I do need to start switching that view point around and a journal sounds like a great way to do it.

If you are ugly tell yourself you are beautiful. If you are poor tell yourself that money is not that important. If your life sucks tell yourself it's great....blah blah blah...Positive self talk works.

inspiring and fun to read? Thanks, and now back to the hard core political stuff. Maybe not!

I'm tired and sick as a dog but I'll do my best...


There are many components to being able to consistenly see the ligher and brighter side of life. The first is self awareness. One must understand that they, like all, are flawed and that it's ok. Then one must come to grips with those flaws and realize that the beauty dwelling within all of us far outreaches the minor flaws we all have.

We must learn to give up judgement on ourselves. One of the worst things a mind can do is obsessively critique itself and its actions for sake of negativity. No good can ever come of this. Instead, one must look inward with confidence in knowing we are always doing the best we can. We must identify those things that we don't like about ourselves and look at them positively. We must look to them to learn, to seek wisdom. To ask "why is it I do these things?" is ok when done for positive learning experience. It is detrimental when done to attack oneself.

We must learn to give up judgement on others. We too often expect others to think, act, feel and respond as we ourselves do, and often put our expectations far too high. Don't have expectations of anyone. We are all unique and doing the best we can, each in our own way. We must remember that while we have such a long path to walk to wisdom, that everyone else has their own path to deal with. Each of us have our roadblocks, our potholes, our milestones. But each persons path is uniquely theirs. Some can proceed faster than others, while others may take exponentially more time to learn the same lessons or place the same stone in their path. That is ok, for one of the most valuable things to ever remember is that Every persons path is uniquely theirs, to forge on their own, in their own time and in their own way. We should not ever judge others for their progress down the path nor rush them down it, but should always be willing to assist their placement of a stone on the path if asked.

We most importantly must remember the beauty in everything around us. I have often said that sitting atop a mountain staring at a sunset with no buildings or sign of life below, all alone, could teach someone more about life than living it in full. There is beauty all around you, always. Don't forget to see it. When you drive, search for the sunray coming through the clouds that inspires you. When you listen to the radio don't forget to sing loudly from your soul when a favorite song comes on.

Life is much like a movie. You are not to be judged for feeling the need to hit pause every now and then. In fact, it is a necessity. Don't get so caught up in the daily obsessions of typicality that you forget to pause, if even for a moment. Pause to reflect. Pause to just smile, if for no reason at all. Press pause to just drink a cup of coffee, without any other thought entering your mind. Just press pause. Whatever was whirling around your mind previously can always wait. Almost nothing is ever truly urgent, and most things that consume our minds are almost always insignificant.

It is ok to be obsessive at times. We all do it. But we must know when to move on, or we risk self destruction. It is ok to have moments of negativity, moments of self doubt, moments of self pity or moments of anger and frustration. We will all have these moments, as they define who we are. But we must not let those moments rule us. We must always be able to hit pause and know that we are still ok, beautiful and have control over our path. Sometimes all it takes is a moment. If one catches themselves caught in a mental rut of negativity, monumental strength can be gained by pressing pause, smiling and thinking "I know I'm ok" followed by a chuckle, even while immediately going back to the whirlwind of thought. Just that one moment is enough of clarity to remind oneself that they are in control.

Remember to think about nothing at all. Behind your closed eyes is a world all your own, of which you rule and command at a whim. Close your eyes, picture in the darkness before you trees, that you are flying through them. Just telling yourself to picture that you can picture it. If I say picture a castle in the clouds you can envision that too. The mind is very powerful. You can close your eyes and visualize in that darkness anything you want. From flying, to soaring, to resting, to playing. Use that power. Use that darkness behind your eyes. In it is much magic, as you can explore anything you desire at any moment.

Lastly, remember life within itself is simple. Life is merely breathing in and breathing out. Each day we all wake, each night we sleep. Breath in, breath out. The rest is circumstantial. Don't take life so seriously. You have all the capabilities you will ever need to have inner peace. Just remember: If you take the richest man in the world with the best luck, and the poorest man in the world with the worst luck, and put them in the same bed with the same clothes and watch them as they sleep, you shall not find a difference between them. Remember, all that you are is your thought. You can control your thought at any given time by just saying so. Always remember to be self aware. In the midst of a negative spell or painful mental experience don't forget to stop and ask "is anything hurting me right now? Can anything change right now?" "If I close my eyes right now and visualize a purple elephant, am I in any worse shape than the person having the best day closing his eyes visualizing a purple elephant?". Most often in our worst moments, it is our own minds creating those moments. In reality at that moment we are still no different from anyone else except for the thoughts we put through our heads. Remember, your mind is a factory. Fire the worker that is always negative and only serving to bring all the other workers down with him. Hire the worker who motivates and is positive about the future of the factory. When you catch a new negative worker in your factory, say to yourself "your fired, get the hell out of here".

The most important thing to remember is that negative thoughts are never productive, ever. No good can come of them, ever. If you are feeling negative, sometimes a simple walk outside and a quick glance at the sky is all that is needed to be self aware.

Remember, you are beautiful, you are capable, you have unlimited power and potential to see whatever you want to see, and perceive whatever you want to perceive. You have your path. It is yours for you to travel down in your own way, for your own reasons, in your own time. It is not up to anyone else to decide that for you, or rush you down it or judge you on it. It is yours alone, as is everyone elses.

And lastly, proclaim loud to yourself right now that you are ok, that you will always be ok, and then smile knowingly. Be empowered.

Young ones that haven't been turned cynical yet.......

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...