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Absolution!! Get your shiny new absolution here!!!

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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:35 PM
Original message
Absolution!! Get your shiny new absolution here!!!
Here's how it works: Admit to something bad. And you get one spanking brand new absolution. Free of charge.

One per fuck up.

Enjoy.

DISCLAIMER:
"MrScorpio's Shiny New Absolution" is for entertaiment purposes only. MrScorpio is not a licensed absolution professional, nor an ordained member of any organized religion. "MrScorpio's Shiny New Absolution" has not been endorsed by God Inc., or or any of its subsidiaries. MrScorpio LLC, its affiliates and content licensors assume no liability for any inaccurate, delayed or incomplete forgiveness, nor for any actions taken in reliance thereon. The forgiveness contained about each individual and firm has been supplied by such individual or firm without verification by us. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future performance. Prior to making any absolution decision, it is recommended that you consult directly with the individual or firm and seek advice from a qualified forgiveness advisor.

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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:40 PM
Response to Original message
1. I use to steal baseball cards from Woolworth's
when I was a kid. :hide:
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. You know that they're bankrupt and out business today because of you?
But that's okay.

You're Forgiven.
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:50 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. It probably was my fault.
My friend and I stole a lot of cards. We were slick too. We would buy a few packs (to get a receipt) and if anyone asked, we would just show them the receipt. We were asked a few times what we were doing but when we showed the receipt, we were all set! :bounce:
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
2. I let my 2-year-old drink half a cup of coffee this morning.
Well, I didn't technically "let" him, but I should have been watching him more closely, because he did. Ohh...and now I just dripped screwdriver on the y,u,i,h, and j keys on the keyboard. I'm going straight to hell.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. No Hell for you, my dear.... You're forgiven
See somebody about that drinking problem, okay?
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. Yup, as soon as the caffeine kicks in, you are definitely going to hell.
2 year olds are naturally caffeinated- add extra and ooooh baby!
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:51 PM
Response to Original message
7. I'm not a witch at all.
I just play one on DU. Is that OK? Can you ever forgive me?
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. False advertising, eh? That's real bad
But that's alright... You're forgiven!
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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:53 PM
Response to Original message
8. No need...
I picked it up when it came out.



Great album.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Hey, mine is both shiny and new, not like that
Just how old IS that?

For diggin' in the crates, you're forgiven.
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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:59 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. Only two years...maybe three...
But Muse = teh rock.
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purr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
10. I get bad thoughts bout my doctor who is incredibly sexy...
and I tell my hubby about it when I go see him :)
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:59 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. Oh you naughty, naughty minx
Looks like you get something that's a lot better than forgiveness from me.


It's quite alright, you've earned it anyways... You're forgiven.
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:58 PM
Response to Original message
12. HEY SCORP.....
I saw the word "spanking" in your OM and I thought we were getting a spanking for being bad but then an absolution. That's why I replied in the first place. I love spankings. :evilgrin:
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:02 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. Okay, you've got this creepy masochism vibe about you...
Hey, whatever floats yer boat.


You're forgiven!
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:05 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. Am I scaring you?
:shrug: Sorry, didn't mean to.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:08 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. Scared isn't the word
But I do think that SouthlandShari is right up your alley
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #19
25. Well, we will have to get together
SouthlandShari and I!!!! :bounce:
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Sanity Claws Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 08:59 PM
Response to Original message
14. I've had impure thoughts
about several men. Please absolve me of my sins so I can do it all again.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:04 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. Hey, PM me if I'm one of them
Either way, we should have women like you in this world.

You're forgiven!
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Liberalynn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:11 PM
Response to Original message
20. I've put a curse on someone, namely my slimey ex boss,
Edited on Thu Dec-29-05 09:11 PM by Liberalynn
of course it didn't work but it was the thought that counted. :evilgrin:

Am I forgiven:shrug:

By the way I love your disclaimer.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:13 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. Next time, read the instructions
For your ineptitude, you're forgiven.
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northofdenali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:11 PM
Response to Original message
21. I just lied.
I told my kitties I'd feed them "in a minute". They don't get fed for another hour.......... (p.s. - it's only 5:10 pm here)

Whip me!
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. The spankings will come in in another thread. This is about absolution
You're forgiven.
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:14 PM
Response to Original message
23. I voted effin republican once in the 80's.
I still feel dirty and can't get the feeling to wash away! :(
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:17 PM
Response to Reply #23
27. That's a long time to stew in your regret juices
Time to get out of the pot.

You're forgiven.
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:18 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. Thank oh thank you Mr. Scorpio.
I feel much better now!
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:17 PM
Response to Original message
26. I've had naughty thoughts.
I try to be pure and good, but sometimes I can't help it. Am I going to hell?
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:20 PM
Response to Reply #26
29. Hey, I'm always one to encourage impure thoughts
But we definitely don't want you to go to Hell.

So, you're forgiven.
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-29-05 09:26 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. Oh boy!
I feel better already! :evilgrin:
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