When you are alone in your house at night.

Do you keep a weapon or bludgeon close at hand? I have a cane knife and baseball bat, nerdowells beware.

:D

It's dwarfish, has a long neck and answers to the full name of James W Beam, Esq.

Both my brother and I came out of a whiskey bottle. :D I tbink my cousins were spawned from the bongwater.

they are looking at something, freaks me out.

Well. here's just the axe.

and trust in Providence to see me through the night.......

The neighbor cats watch my place like I'm living a feline version of Rear Window, though. Also I have some weights that I could bash someone with, but mostly I plan to ask them if they'd leave and/or not beat/kidnap/shoot/rob me.

And it works! We sleep very well at night......



:hi:

Though there are plenty of things I could quickly grab and beat a perp to death with.

By the way, it's "ne'erdowell", as in "neverdowell".

was! Haven't had enough coffee yet!

Makes a damn fine weapon.

griptape or truck?

What part would you want to make contact on the other person? I get the best grip with the curve of the nose or tail in my palm.. So I would hit with the truck.

P.S. I have never actually hit someone with my skateboard.. Only practiced.

Jab with the nose, then hit with the front truck, using my other hand as propulsion.

I have never actually hit someone with it either. I'm just always prepared, haha.

I know how it goes....

Just in case somebody gets past multiple locked doors and the alarm system.

drop like a stone.

:eyes:

I can dial 911 while Gideon bites 'em.

When I was a kid I used to sleep with a tennis racket (didn't have a baseball bat) and always had the light on, which annoyed my sister. I also slept with a supply of emergency money and a bag with essentials next to me, and hid food around my bedroom, just in case.

Tucker

On edit: I have a notoriously hard time feeling "safe" or sleeping well. If I think about it logically, I am in basically no danger...but I never "feel" safe. Even with all the things I do, I still wake up panicking occasionally. It'd just very old habits and patterns of thinking, and I haven't been able to shake it.

I have my two fists...they'll do. :)

And I live in a crappy neighborhood too. Not bad by big city standards but bad enough. I've seen some pretty crazy shit here but for the most part the criminals here are the type to wait for you to leave before they try something stupid.

i have my alarm clock and lamp to bludgeon them with in case they get past the one lock on my door...

i won't say that my town/city is devoid of crime (i do the crime beat for the local paper, so i know better) but i feel safe

besides, i don't want anything near me that can kill me if someone takes it away

And bungee cords. Add some (preferably blue) tarps.

After the intruder trips over one of the 4 cats, tie 'em up, wrap securely in tarp with duct tape. Using bungee cords, attach firmly to front porch.

Wait (at 12-or-more below zero) about 15 minutes, until intruder begs you to call the police.

:evilgrin:

Actually, just some good locks and a super husband does the trick for me! :P

The Rottie looks intimidating and discourages anyone from wanting to break into my house.

Rotties are total sweethearts. Wouldn't hurt a fly. Although they will kiss anything, which can be scary :)

Khash.

She has a big bark, but if anyone broke in the house, she would run and hide, but, of course, would-be intruders don't know that.

But mine was a babydoll.

All she wanted to do was sit in my lap (though she outweighed me by 50 pounds) and french kiss.

Now that's scary! An eight inch dog tongue down your throat is a good reason to give up burglary.

Khash.

I have a straight razor, handcuffs, and a baseball bat always at hand.

But it never seemed like they would be used in an act of violence. Just, you know, stuff you need for a one night stand.

Khash.

my wit and charm!

That would give me enough time to get a weapon. We do have a couple of guns, but I probably wouldn't have time to go downstairs, unlock the gun case, and load before the house was broken into. We do have a couple of knives upstairs that are more like machetes. We also have a couple of heavy flash lights, sturdy glass scuptures, and various tools that I could use to help defend myself. My fire extinguisher probably could be used as a distraction as well.

I have guns in the house but I make no effort to keep them handy - I don't get nervous. I live out in the sticks - if anyone can even FIND my house, they deserve anything they can get.

Likewise when I am gone.

My first line of defense- Buddy and his family. (Two dogs not in the picture)

I also have two M1a rifles, two 12 gauge shotguns and two 1911 pistols. I have pepper spray, a ball bat and a blunt stick.

I have a locked gate at the road and posted signs around the property.
I just have to figure out how to deal with alien encounters and ghosts! (It gets pretty dark out here at night and nobody would hear me scream)

I think you'll be o.k. :)

I have an alarm system which will give me time to grab what I need if it doesn't scare them off.

How's THAT for paranoid? Even if there are seven of 'em, I'll get them all at once.

Redstone

I suppose it would be effective though. Maybe a couple of claymores set in strategic locations would help?

(BTW- I have two 10 pound bags of the old vietnam era bee-hive darts in a closet somewhere around here. A friend that was moving wanted me to "store" them for him along with a bunch of other crap. 10 years later I am still storing the crap.)

Christ, there's someone here who knows beehive rounds.

Those things were truly horrifying. I don't think I want to remember them anymore and actually wish I hadn't mentioned them in the first place, now that I've given it some more thought and remembering.

Get rid of them, please. Not something you want to have in your house.

Redstone

They are metal darts about an inch long. They are no more dangerous than a bag of nails. I was in the Marine Corps in my mis-spent youth and know dangerous/illegal when I see it.
Do you know what I plan to do with them? I am going to be pouring a concrete porch and I was thinking I could pour them near the bottom near the rebar to further stregthen the base of the porch. Any other creative ideas?

And good riddance to them. Glad to hear you've found a productive use for them.

Redstone

He can annoy them outta here.
And my dog. She'll talk and sing til they can't stand any more.

You are not alone at night with another human at home. Post a picture of your dog! I want to see this creature!

Which creature did you mean?

You decide which is which.

Your brother, while YOU may not consider him a human qualifies as company, you are not alone.

Your dog is cool though.

Nit picker.

I knew I was violating the parameters when I posted.

myself logged on to DU...because I'm sure that one of you will dial 911 if you don't see me posting every second...;)

Seriously, I do leave you guys logged on when I'm alone. I feel less alone that way.

For the light, and the swing.

A naked man covered with blood and wielding twin Colts is not someone to fuck with.

you are fucking crazy. That's my same method. And I AM certifiable. Oh, I likes it. Insanity doesn't bother me at all. I enjoy every minute of it. :evilgrin:

:D

Sometimes, I wish for the opportunity that someone would make a foolish enough decision to break in here. I have enough rage that I could tear them apart with by bare hands. Of course, if they break in, it's Jamastiene's laws then. I'll take the damn right to defend myself and my castle.

A little background. I was a victim of a crime years ago when I thought I had to take it from these red state assholes. Now, I long for the chance for my revenge. Payback is going to be sweet. All I need is that one little move to send me over the edge. I promise it will make the news. It'll be freaking sweet.

My arsenal: I make my own medieval style weaponry and the idea of getting to torture one of the assholes who live near me kind of excites and exhilarates me. I do need one item to complete my torture kit though. I need a roast beef slicer. Anybody got one of those that they don't want (keyword, that you don't want it returned) back?

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used
work boots ... a really big pair.

2. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of
Guns and Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a dog dish beside it....a really big dog dish.

4. Leave a note on your front door that says Bubba, big
Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition. back in an hour. Do not
disturb the pit bulls, they are mad, because they have just been
castrated.

I needed that.


:rofl:

I'm sure it would be effective too.

never was enough of a thumbsucking Bedwetter to feel that happiness would be a warm gun.

I don't own one in hopes of using it. I own one for the worse case scenerio.
(I really didn't want to know about your bladder problems or oral fixations)

Warm means you were forced to use it.

I have a cold one, myself...I've lived alone for fifteen years now...and I don't keep it to hand, 'cause I'm just not that paranoid. It's close by when I sleep, though. :)

In fifteen years, I've only been spooked enough to pick it up twice. Hope I never have to fire it, but believe me, I know how...and I will.

First of all, I believe in non-violence.
Secondly, I live in a very small city (3500). Even the police station answers with a machine.
Thirdly, if someone would manage to get inside my house, there is enough of an obstacle course that I would hear them fall and curse. That will give me enough time to call 911.
And finally, Oreo would puff them. One puff is enough to make anyone's heart melt.

And I sleep with the headlamp on the nightstand.

I also have a pretty nice collection of primitive weaponry, including a bow and some arrows and two spears.

(and for those who saw my skull thread, I was driving down 99 with all my spears and shit in the back seat, when I saw a dead magpie by the side of the road. Now dead birds are illegal, but I have a friend who stuffs them for a museum, and I figured she'd be all over it. So I snagged it. About two miles down the road, there was a dead egret. Now the magpie fit into a small grocery bag, but the egret sure didn't. I had a bag big enough to fit the body into, but the feet stuck WAY out. So I drove half the length of California with two illegal dead birds, one of which is totally obvious with its feet sticking out of a bag, and a car full of primitive weapons. Good times, good times. I felt like such a dork.)

If so, the question would be what type of weapon.

Then the question would be how fast it fires.

Then the question would be what type of human dares inhabits your space.

Finally, the question would be why you ever asked that question.

female boxer that will go for the throat of anyone she doesn`t know. she`s the biggest baby of a dog i have ever had but dam is she protective

That is all. When it's warm the windows are open.
The only "weapons" in the house are the kitchen knives which are in...




the kitchen.

:evilgrin:

:rofl:

You are TOO funny!!


:hug:

I always had my nunchaku (num-chuks, for the uniinitiated) under the front seat. I had to go into some bad neighborhoods and dark rest stops.

I doubt they would have done me any good, but it made me feel more confident knowing they were close by.