The housework log is awesome!

My DH and I have been going through some normal rough times, adjusting to being parents mostly. Recently we've had some serious arguments. For the most part, we've been able to discuss serious issues without degenerating too much. But one thing we can't talk about at all is housework.

We each think that we do all of it and that the other does none of it, and we each think that not enough of it is getting done because the other person isn't helping.

We decided that we neither trust each other or ourselves when talking about housework, so we'd start keeping a housework log so we'd have something objective to turn to in times of dispute.

It's working beautifully. It's working out so much better than we expected. The reason it's working so well is because writing everything down has raised our consciousness so much that we are both doing more without feeling overburdened. We're just both more aware of what we're doing individually--and just the increased awareness has made it easier for each of us to stay on top of our game.

We haven't used it at all to compare who is doing what or who is doing more. We haven't used it all to show the other person, "See, I did ALL the dishes." I don't even think that either of us has gone back and read through it.

We're just writing down what we do, and it's become easier for each of us to do more.

The house is in good shape. It's not perfect. we both work, have 3 cats and a 15-month-old boy. We don't expect it to be perfect. But we needed it to better, and we each needed to stop feeling like such a martyr about it.

We have other serious underlying issues that we're working out, but there's been such a sense of peace and cooperation in the house since we started the log. It's making everything easier.

We've only been using it for a few days. I'm amazed by the result.

Anyway, just wanted to share.

P.S. I think also this is evidence that I should start keeping a food log to help me eat better foods and not eat for entertainment.

:hi:

What is "DH?" Domestic Husband? Dear Husband? Designated Hitter?

I think this is a fabulous idea. I think i'll bring it up w/ Mrs. V. She does FAR more than I do around the house.

:hi:

P.S. Food log: www.fitday.com -- it's free.

Thanks for the link!

I have been worried about things since your last post about him. I was pulling for you silently in my mind and wishing you both happiness.:thumbsup:

:hi:

Now acknowledge each other for all the other is doing and see what happens.

Glad it's all coming together...I was afraid if you took option #3 I'd have to do all the shit on his log :evilgrin:

:loveya:

I still think a ployamorous pod would be nice.

Reminds me of that old saying: Don't sweat the small stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff. :)

:hi:

I'm glad you two are working it out. :hug:

He's playing drums right now and the baby is playing with his blocks. So I thought I'd take a sec and check in.

:hi: