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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:43 PM
Original message
Talk me out of quitting my job right this second
I'm having a crap day and I'm about one second from walking off this job, which, if I could afford to do I would. But I can't afford that--though an argument could be made that my psychological and emotional well-being can't afford staying here either, but if I think about that I'll fucking weep--so anyway, help me avoid walking off the job and/or reaming out my psychotic co-worker for being, well, a psychotic prick.

Thanks.
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
1. Do it and I'll kill this puppy.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. No, not the puppy threat!
Thank you. :hug:
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:09 PM
Response to Reply #5
32. I know about the psychotic co-worker thing, I really do.
I have worked with people who would only shut up if I bliked at them and waited until they shut up/ heard what they were saying and realized its foolishness. The latter rarely happened.
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Wetzelbill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:06 PM
Response to Reply #1
31. Ohhhhh.......
that is playing dirty! :)
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:32 PM
Response to Reply #31
34. "the puppy threat" ALWAYS works.
:o
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Wetzelbill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:34 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. I imagine so
I mean if a person was to let that threat be carried out well they would have to be one sick... uh, puppy.

Had to be a better way to say that. :)

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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #1
40. Ohmygawd. You actually did it.
And then put the puppy on a blue comforter and forced another poster to photograph the body.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4828132

Couldn't we have found another way?
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:11 PM
Response to Reply #40
44. OMG!!!! The pooped puppy! LOL!!!
Dang, but that's cute! :rofl: :rofl:
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plcdude Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:46 PM
Response to Original message
2. okay
take a little time to breath and gain your composure and then form a plan on how you can look for other employment opportunities. Do not give them any satisfaction by quiting. Just start finding ways to change your circumstances while insuring you have the resources to pursue this new direction in your life.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #2
8. Thank you. I'm working on it.
I have a second job that helps keep me sane and I've got some leads I'm pursuing. It's taking a while, but I think one of them will pay off. Thank you for the calming words of wisdom.
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:48 PM
Response to Original message
3. Can't you just plot some sort of deeply fulfilling revenge?
That's what I'd do. It's far more fun than raging against the morans of the world...
:hug:
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RumpusCat Donating Member (548 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. This is what I do when I'm upset
I've never taken any kind of revenge, of course, but plotting an elaborate and humiliating strike against whoever it is pissing you off is very satisfying. It's childish, I know, in that 'Then I'll be dead and they'll ALL BE SORRY!!!' way, but whatever keeps you sane. :hug:
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:01 PM
Response to Reply #3
13. Well, oddly enough
(though I don't think of it as revenge so much as my civic duty) there is something going on thanks to my tax situation that could prove entertaining in the months to come.

Thanks. :hug:
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RandomKoolzip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:54 PM
Response to Original message
4. Okay, here goes:
Edited on Thu Mar-02-06 01:01 PM by RandomKoolzip
I now work two jobs as a line cook. One, I work full time, the other, I work at twenty+ hours a week. I go in at 8 in the morning and come home at 1 AM on the days I work both jobs. Both jobs involve lifting heavy things, burning yourself, cutting yourself, running around like a recently beheaded chicken, constantly keeping on top of the dozens of tickets that come in at once, which requires hot-wiring your adrenal gland to perforrm at top speed 14 hours a day, getting covered in garbage and rotting food-smells all day, sweating profusely, getting yelled at, sublimating your personality and desires, destroying your self-respect, and debasing yourself for your superiors. All my coworkers are alcoholics, mental cases, or foreigners who can barely speak English. Neither job pays me more than 9.75 an hour, and at the end of the month, I'm STILL in debt, and more bills are overdue. Oh, and we don't get breaks (i.e I stand up for 16 hours straight); we have to eat in between making food for other people.

Still feel like quitting?
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:11 PM
Response to Reply #4
14. Oh man--Nuts to that!
I do still feel like quitting, but not as much. See my situation also invloves a lot of self-respect destroying bullshit in that my boss (while he doesn't ask me to perform duties I'd be good at, went to school for, and thought I was hired to do), he does ask me to UPS his ex-girlfriend's lingerie back to her from time to time. :eyes:
Also, the psycho co-worker has never once called me by my real name--he shortens it to a nickname I hate--goes on insane rants blaming others for shit he did, and just now came waltzing into my office yelling about "Why you didn't tell me that {this thing} was like that? Huh? Shitty Nickname, you see it everyday? Why didn't you tell me? If it was me, if I went there like you do, I'd have said something. Yeah Shitty Nickname, I'd have said something to someone. Yeah, I'da noticed that, Shitty Nickname." He'll never get fired though because finding someone else to do his job would be impossible.

Ok, fuckstick, except ever think that said thing happened like, after I left? Or that sometimes human beings are--gasp--human beings? Grrr--sorry, getting pissed again.

I'm sorry about your work life--Between here and my other job I work about 12 hours a day too, so I can sort of imagine what it's like. And I was a waitress once (a shitty one) so I sympathize--I couldn't do what you do and stay sane. No way. Thanks for the reality check.
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Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
6. Try to leave on your own terms...
...rather than being driven out, if possible. Leaving the jerks holding the bag at exactly the wrong time will be very satisfying.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:21 PM
Response to Reply #6
18. Excellent point, thank you.
That will be a nice feeling.
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JitterbugPerfume Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:57 PM
Response to Original message
7. oh boy Jane
have I ever been There (((((((((((HUG)))))) hang in there ,girl:grouphug:
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:22 PM
Response to Reply #7
19. Thank you.
It will be over someday, somehow. :hug:
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Ohio Joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:58 PM
Response to Original message
10. Have you considered
Contacting HR about the co-worker ?
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. It's a small biz so there isn't any HR to speak of.
But if there was an HR dept. they'd be hearing from me. I've mentioned it to my boss but he knows he'll never find another guy to do everything the psycho does so basically he tells me to suck it up. He's also rarely here so I don't know that he quite gets what it's like.

The whole situation is dysfunctional, so I just need to keep sending out resumes and practice getting to that zen-like state that will allow me to not care about the dysfunction until it's over.
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Ohio Joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:26 PM
Response to Reply #15
20. The only things I can think to add
First, continue your search and... Second, when you finally do find something else, be certain your boss knows that not only the co-worker but his (the boss's) refusal to do anything are your reasons for leaving.

It's a shame though, your boss really needs to learn that anyone can be replaced and that his staff would be far more productive without a disruptive force in the workplace. Best of luck to you in your search.
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raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:39 PM
Response to Reply #15
21. Two suggestions:
Edited on Thu Mar-02-06 01:43 PM by raccoon
--calling this co-worker by a nickname he doesn't like every time he calls you by the nickname?

--Don't answer him when he calls you that, just broken-record, "Don't call me "Whatever", "that's not my name," or something similar.

Do google “workplace bullying” and read up on that. You'll find some helpful info there.
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wain Donating Member (803 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 12:58 PM
Response to Original message
11. Quit, and your psychotic co-worker wins
Stay and plot revenge. :evilgrin:
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:19 PM
Response to Reply #11
17. Thanks for the laugh.
I don't care if he wins. I just want him out of my life.
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:00 PM
Response to Original message
12. I really need a job,
so quit just as soon as you put my resume on your boss's desk

I love psychotic co-workers
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. I would never, ever, ever subject anyone else to this insanity.
So no, I won't do that. You can do better. It's true.
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Magrittes Pipe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:43 PM
Response to Original message
22. If you don't quit, you'll be able to afford to buy me a drink.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #22
25. Good point. Do you know when you'll be here yet?
In addition to buying you a drink at Drinking Liberally, there are some excellent shows coming up here that I think you might like.
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Magrittes Pipe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:48 PM
Response to Reply #25
37. Yes.
:P
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #37
41. Oh, oh OK then...
Guess I won't tell you about the Greg Cartwright show at the Circle A for only 3 dollars on March 26th at 2pm then.

Nope. Not saying anything about that. :P




(You are a DU Greg fan, right? I can't remember. If not then I got nothin' to fake-lord over you, I guess. :D )
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Magrittes Pipe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:24 PM
Original message
Just him, or with the band?
Carol (the bass player) is a good friend of dolo's. She also used to date another DUer (who may or may not wish to be identified).

Saw RS last month here in C-town. Carol's unnamed ex was telling Greg about my guitar collection the next day.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:28 PM
Response to Original message
49. Just him.
I saw RS over the summer in Chicago but I had to miss that one last month. I think the boy went to it though. Weird, with the degrees of separation and whatnot. Watch, you move back and it turns out I've "known" you two all along. (Known as in--hey, I've seen you around at a million shows!)

Oh, and get this--apparently the Oblivians are playing the Blackout in Chicago this year so I will finally get to see them too. Woo-frickin-hoo!
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Magrittes Pipe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:39 PM
Response to Reply #49
50. Did you see the Compulsive Gamblers reunion in Chicago in '99?
I was at that show.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #50
51. No. That's another show I had to miss and the boy probably got to see.
He's always off galavanting around, seeing shows and leaving me home. Actually, I think he's going to Cleveland this weekend. Is there something good going on? I can't remember what he said he wanted to go to. I have to work so whatever it is I won't be enjoying it. (I will enjoy the house-to-myself time though.)
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Magrittes Pipe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #51
52. Might he be going to see the Choir?
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 05:19 PM
Response to Reply #52
53. That's it, yeah.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:48 PM
Response to Original message
23. JP: If you need a place to vent at any length you want to, that's what the
Private Mail function is for. (Don't read that wrong: I'm NOT saying you shouldn't vent in the forums, just that there's an additional resource if you need it. NOW am I making any sense? I'm not so sure I am.)

Fell free to send one to me if you think I could help.

Redstone
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:51 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. What you're saying is, "feel free to PM me", right?
:D :P :rofl: :hug:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #24
27. Well, yeah, I guess I could have just said that, but you know how I get
now and again...a guy who got a perfect score in the English SAT (35 years (Good Lord!) ago when they were damn difficult at that), and here about half the time I'm 90% unintelligible when posting.

Like right now.

Aye, well, at least I have you to translate me for the other DUers, and I'm sure they appreciate that.

Redstone
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:02 PM
Response to Reply #27
30. No, you're great just the way you are. I love you for it!
:pals: :hug: :donut: :loveya:
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #23
26. Thanks Redstone--you make sense, yes.
I'm fairly calmmed down now, but I will keep your offer at the front of my mind, (is that a phrase? Well it is now.), the next time I need to vent. I know you're good for sound advice and a good listener--thank you.
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Wetzelbill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
28. see when you are a beautiful, intelligent and talented woman
you are above dealing with a psychotic prick. You're better than that, so avoid that person and concentrate on doing your job well. Then when you get home, kick back, relax, eat a good meal and do something you enjoy. See the thing is, if you are waking up everyday without having something good to look forward to, then you need to find that one thing. It may be something as simple as a tv show you like, or a movie, a good book, or even just relaxing with your morning coffee. Think about something that you can go home and enjoy just for yourself. And, concentrate on that, not some person who is not worth your time. You know who you are and you're a good person with all sorts of great qualities. It's important for you to remind yourself of that when you are having a tough day. See, I see you around here from time to time, I have joked with you a little and so forth, you're very likable and lots of fun. I would say that you don't know the treasures that you hold within. So maybe you should find something you can look forward to and search for those treasures, instead of letting other less important things get to you. So that's what I have to say about that. (and the pic you posted that one time when I said "yup, you're hot" well, you looked like the world lying in surrender) That's a good thing. :)
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:41 PM
Response to Reply #28
36. That makes a lot of sense. Thank you.
I can't avoid him, unfortunately, but I can try not to let it bug me so much or--not put him in his place, that's not quite what I mean, but make sure he understands he's out of line when he's out of line instead of just being pissed.

You're right about enjoying something. My other job that I love is one thing, Colbert Report is another, hanging out with the boy--I've got plenty of good things to focus on. Thanks for the reminder.


(And thanks for the compliments--very sweet of you, Bill.)
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Wetzelbill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. Sweet is my middle name
Ok, now that was just a flat out lie!

But, yes, glad you liked them. Yeah, you can't let people bug you, best to not let it get you too riled up. Otherwise it just becomes too much for a person to handle, the stress alone will weigh someone down.

Colbert Report. Love it! You get bonus points for that one! :)
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GumboYaYa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
29. On your way home tonight, stop by a drug store and buy a
Edited on Thu Mar-02-06 02:02 PM by GumboYaYa
Johnson & Johnson thermometer. It has to be Johnson & Johnson. When you get home, pull out the instructions, warranty etc. information and read very carefully. In small print you will see "Every rectal thermometer is personally tested."

There are worse jobs!
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:29 PM
Response to Reply #29
33. Hahaha! Thanks for that.
That actually made me do the "Enda Krabapple. Ha!" out loud.

:rofl:
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 02:57 PM
Response to Original message
39. Self Delete.
Edited on Thu Mar-02-06 03:01 PM by NNadir
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
42. Oh, man. Tough call.
Protecting the integrity of your employment record is essential--but so's your sanity. I held on to my last job with abusive employers and coworkers until the bitter, bitter end, when my contract was up (they didn't extend it and then...bitter). Yes, it's great that I left them with a "good impression," but it's really, really bad that I stayed long enough to incur as much emotional and psychological damage as I did--which was a lot. An abusive employment situation can be very destructive to your long-term mental health and economic future.

Egh.

I say let your financial situation tip the scales and don't quit...yet. But start making arrangements to switch jobs ASAP. While you're still sane enough to do that. Also--make sure you're getting enough B-12. B-12 deficiency is a major liability when trying to withstand adversity, particularly of an emotional variety. Good luck!
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:21 PM
Response to Reply #42
46. Yeah, it's a goofy situation all around.
I know it won't last forever--resume's are out, my second job might have an opportunity soon, and I just got headhunted for a job about a half an hour ago too. (Du vibes at work? I think so). The head hunting job is one I can't get to, (way out in the 'burbs), but at least I know my resume is being looked at by people so it might not be too much longer that I have to be here.

Thanks for the support, Blue Iris.
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Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
43. Walk tall.
You never know what the next day offers you. Hang in there for now and point all mirrors to your co-worker.

Good vibes coming your way. :hug:
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:13 PM
Response to Reply #43
45. That's some of the best advice I've heard all day.
:) Well put!
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Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:22 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. I'm an old geezer, ya know.
Dig through and keep your eyes open (paying the bills is not pleasant. Earning the money for paying the bills isn't always pleasant as well.). From what little I know of you, there will be opportunities. It may take some time, though. :hi:
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-02-06 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #43
48. Thank you for the perspective.

I don't know what I'd do without DUers and their voices of reason.

:hug:

Hey, and what do you know, it's quittin' time already. Woo-hoo!
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