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I saw Ultraviolet tonight - worst piece of shit since Nemesis

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:07 PM
Original message
I saw Ultraviolet tonight - worst piece of shit since Nemesis
Seriously.

This is the lamest, most dreck-filled, cliche-ridden hamfisted poorly written incontinent piece of shit movie I've seen in a long time.

It is the Contemporary Christian Music of moviedom.

It is the Thomas Kinkade of action films.

Even Spielberg couldn't have done anything this treacly, and it certainly would have been a hell of a lot better if he'd directed it.

Seriously, this is an awful, fucking awful, movie.

The dialogue is shit; there almost literally is no story, and what story there is is poorly developed; the thing is fucking overflowing with useless exposition; cliche's everywhere; the fight scenes are boring and shittily done; the special effects are great, but serve almost no purpose in the story line; the acting is hamfisted and overdone and overwraught (which I'm sure is the director/writer's fault, not the actors').

Stay away from this catastrophe.

I mean, Jesus, it makes Catwoman look like fucking Lawrence of Arabia.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:38 PM
Response to Original message
1. Kick - seriously, as bad as Top Gun, maybe even worse
in some ways.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
2. Just as bad as Nemisis or was it
:scared: actually worse?
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:43 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. In terms of being hackneyed, yes, it was even worse than Nemesis.
And I would have thought it would be impossible to be worse than Nemesis.

I was actually tempted to leave during this movie, but it was SOOOOOOO awful, I HAD to stay to see just how badly it bottomed out.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Jesus Christ
Worse than Nemisis? Just thinking about that makes me want to cry for the two hours of your life you'll never get back. I'm sorry you suffered through that.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. Thankfully, it had boobs.
If the lead character had been Tom Cruise, and everything else stayed the same, then I would really feel cheated.

But, at least we had boobs.
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freethought Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:54 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. More belly buttons than boobs!
I will admit, Mila wore that suit pretty well.
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
3. Catwoman fucked Lawrence of Arabia?
Can I download that?
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freethought Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:43 PM
Response to Original message
4. I saw the flick today as well.
If your thing was to see Mila Jovovitch in tight fitting clothing with lots of midriff and didn't give a flying f__k about plot or story line, you were golden.
If you were sorta concerned about plot, story, charecter development and were cool on Mila's wadrobe, you may think the movie was so so.

If you were concerned with acting talent, plot, story line, charecter development, exclusively. Well then the movie was a piece of crap.

William Fitchner will probably hide under his bed for a year after this flick.
I stayed through the whole thing, mostly because I didn't want to waste my popcorn. The movie was OVERLY stylized. There was definitely a tendency to focus in on Mila's eyes and her belly button. For closesups they had some sort of effect that blurred or softened the picture, it was everywhere.

If you don't mind blowing $9 on flick, go ahead. Just be warned, Oscar material it is definitely NOT!!!


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CatholicEdHead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:45 PM
Response to Original message
6. Not even a DVD Rental?
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:46 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. Not really, though I am tempted to rent the version with the director's
commentary when it comes out (if it does) just to find out if he apologies or offers any kind of defense for this fecal explosion.
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Nitrogenica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:46 PM
Response to Original message
9. Was it as predictable as the Passion of the Christ?
I was hoping for this.

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-03-06 11:49 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Passion of the Christ wasn't predictable - it only had one
possible trajectory. The story is already known. Calling it "predictable" is just asinine.

But no, this wasn't entirely predictable - but then part of that is the simple reason that the story is shittily done, it just bounced to wherever it needed to be at any given time. The storyline moved around like the video game "Defender" or "Asteroids", with the hyperspace button that moved your ship and dropped it off someplace random. That's how it bounced around.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 09:18 AM
Response to Original message
13. One more kick for the smart morning people
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Benfea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 09:29 AM
Response to Original message
14. You couldn't tell that from the trailers?
Seriously, if you've seen any of the trailers, why did you set foot in that theater?
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anarch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 09:31 AM
Response to Original message
15. just looking at the ads for that, I said to myself, "wow...that movie,
it don't look so good."
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