Ten peeves dogs have about humans

Just got this in the E. Good stuff. :rofl:



1. Blaming your farts on me. Not funny. Not funny at all.

2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this, anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it.

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew up your stuff when you're not home.

6. The sleight-of-hand fake-fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Woohoo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!

7. Taking me to the vet for the big snip, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth — you're just jealous.

Now, lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here. You don't see me picking up your poop, do you?

i HATE watching people drag on their dogs when they stop to smell.

If my dog had his way, he would do nothing but smell, so I enforce a 7-second rule. If I feel he is taking too long to enjoy a scent, I say, "Invoking 7-second rule." He then has 7 seconds to finish sniffing and move on. If he doesn't, I give a little tug on the leash.

Not letting a dog enjoy sniffing at all? That is bad. Enjoying sniffies is an essential part of doghood.

is like not letting a human read or listen to music.

lol