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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:46 PM
Original message
My cat can go fuck itself
MMEMEEOOOOOOOWWWWW, I want outside.

MMMMEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW, I want inside

MMMMMMEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWW, I want food

RRROOOOOORRRRRRRRR, I just wanted to wake you up

fuck him, fuck cats... it's not even MY cat.

I like dogs, dogs are cool.

I think I'll feed this cat to one.
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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:47 PM
Response to Original message
1. :)
:popcorn:
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:48 PM
Response to Original message
2. ...
:popcorn:
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:49 PM
Response to Original message
3. Until the Dog wakes you up at 3am just so he can go poop
At least cats can use the litter box without your assistances except a daily cleanout of the box. Even then you can buy motorized litter boxes that can do that.
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:50 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. I've rarely had a dog do that
Our dogs always got put out just before bed... then let out when we got up. If they had to go bad enough to wake us up, we'd not be mad.
Cause we loved him.

This cat though... I wish the dog had eaten the cat.
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:51 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. I wish my cat would eat those damn polar bears of yours
:popcorn:
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:52 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Ha, good luck
they run too fast
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #3
14. Dogs can go outside and come back on command...
without running away and becoming road frisbees, or getting shot or trapped by the crazy neighbors. They don't shit and piss in the house. I like that in an animal.
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:25 PM
Response to Reply #14
21. You obviously don't live with a beagle
I couldn't let my dog run off leash for a second. First interesting smell, she'd be a tri-colored road frisbee.

Cats don't even have to go outside.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #21
26. I'm sorry your Beagle disobeys. Yes, that is dangerous for her.
:(
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Hardrada Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 02:23 AM
Response to Reply #3
50. Are you supposed to do that daily?
Oh jeeze.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:49 PM
Response to Original message
4. Cat's grow on you.
Just wait.

Dogs are cool too. But they're not cats. :P
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:51 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. This cat's had 13 years, all it's done is pissed me off
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. It sounds like the cat has a hobby.
And you're it. :rofl:
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. If kitty hasn't always done that, maybe he/she is getting senile.
Ours did. He'd forget he was merowing to go outside. We'd open the door and he'd turn around and go lay down. Then he'd be back at the door in a few minutes merowing again.
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #15
43. And if ya think senile is bad, wait until partial deafness hits
Then they MEOW really loud cuz they can't hear themselves. The younger cats were like, 'Dude, why are you yelling? Chill the hell out'
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 04:29 PM
Response to Reply #4
31. I've been around both a lot -- I prefer cats by a mile.
I don't dislike dogs, it's just that they're so ... barky and stinky and obsequious, etc. Cats are way cooler.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 05:34 PM
Response to Reply #31
36. Cats definitely have more style.
I love dogs just as much. I'd love to have a beagle, or a spaniel (awesome dogs) but I can only have cats. I don't consider it much of a loss because my cats are my babies.
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:54 PM
Response to Original message
9. Goddess... I HATE that...
one of our cats is soooo bad... five minutes after you give in to the whining and let him in the bathroom or wherever it is he wants to go with you, he wants out again. AAAAAA! Shut up!
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:00 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Yeah, I think I'll smear him in BBQ sauce and let him out tonight
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hunter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #12
32. Our dogs would lick BBQ sauce off, leaving cat unharmed...
...but humiliated with funny looking spit hairdo.
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Elidor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 06:26 PM
Response to Reply #12
37. !!!
:rofl:

My adopted stray has been driving me crazy. I finally realized the problem: he sleeps all day, warm and dry while I work, then bounces off the walls all night long. Solution: I only let him in to eat. If it's too cold to spend the night outside, there's a shelf in the bathroom that he likes to sleep on. Other than that, he is felina non grata around here.

And his little balls are getting snipped next week! :bounce:
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 11:25 PM
Response to Reply #37
44. Leave the answering machine set to screen calls
Phone home every half hour and yell at the critter to WAKE UP!

Worked for my daughter's cat.
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kiraboo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
10. What you don't realize is that the cat is screwing with your brains.
He knows you don't like him, and he's making your life hell. Cats are like that, and that's why I like cats!
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. He would be if I gave shit
He's closer to being fed to a dog than he is to having me toady to him.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Feed him to your bears.
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:10 PM
Response to Original message
17. You know, my dear HEyHEY........
Have you ever thought of having a pet door put in?

They completely eliminate the problems you describe here!

When we had animals, we always had one! They work wonderfully...

:shrug:
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Major Hogwash Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. We put in a pet door once . . .
. . but the stupid cat kept locking himself out.

He kept forgetting to take his keys with him whenever he went outside.

Do you know why?

Because cats ain't got pockets!

LoL
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #18
24. LOL indeed, my dear Major Hogwash!
BTW, Welcome to DU! Enjoy your stay in our crazy, addictive little village!

:hi:
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Lochloosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. We had one.
Until I watched a RAT come in one night and help himself to the cat food.

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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #20
25. Yes, well, there is always that!
Sounds as though your cat wasn't much of a rat-catcher.....too bad...

We did have the occasional opossum come in ours......:shrug:
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:56 PM
Response to Reply #17
28. Racoons would get int
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:23 PM
Response to Original message
19. .




Just sayin' :shrug:
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Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:27 PM
Response to Original message
22. Strange.
Edited on Mon Mar-13-06 03:27 PM by Call Me Wesley
I always thought cats have good taste if it comes to humans. I might be wrong ...

:popcorn:
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:30 PM
Response to Original message
23. sounds more like my dog
the cat is pretty low maintenance in comparison. :shrug:
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #23
27. Yeah, my sister-in-law's dog is just as bad.
Just like with people, irritating pets come in all breeds. :)
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
29. My cat can lick herself, is that close enough to...
is that close enough to fucking herself? MrUP has mentioned that he wished he had the flexibility of our cat.
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deadparrot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 03:59 PM
Response to Original message
30. I think my cat and yours are long-lost siblings.
All through the night.

She'll jump on your head until you let her out. Half and hour later, bang, bang, bang. She's at my window, and won't stop with the banging until you let her in. Repeat through the night (and day, for that matter).
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 05:11 PM
Response to Original message
33. Introduce him to one of your polar bears
Edited on Mon Mar-13-06 05:11 PM by Richardo
That'll straighten him out.

"Paulie? You won't see him no more."
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 05:22 PM
Response to Original message
34. Must be related to my cat who controls my entire world
the little fucker.
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
35. You're not fooling anyone, Hey Hey!!
We all know that you love your cat! :o
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 06:49 PM
Response to Original message
38. Sounds like my cat
Out the window, in the door. Out the door, in the window. Needs a drink and must get it from the bathroom sink which must be turned on and off for him. Oh, back out. Now back in. Hungry. Pet me. Back out. Another drink. etc. etc. etc.

I actually love the cat but he is an amazing pain in the ass. ~sigh~
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Benfea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 06:51 PM
Response to Original message
39. All cats are insane. That's why they're fun!
Plus, they never try to lick your crotch.
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 07:27 PM
Response to Original message
40. talented cat.
:D
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-13-06 07:30 PM
Response to Original message
41. I've got one in heat
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIWWAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!! No interspecies sex - get over it.
HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOO! (you try getting sleep with an alien being screaming HELLO! in your basement
AAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL No, you can't fuck the wall - isn't gonna work.
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
42. to late to R,but I can
:kick:
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democracyindanger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 11:31 PM
Response to Original message
45. It's possible, you know.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7gB3Czv0vbw
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htuttle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 01:37 AM
Response to Original message
46. Dogs have 'masters'. Cats have 'staff'.
:shrug:
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ProudToBeBlueInRhody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 01:40 AM
Response to Reply #46
47. My cat used to hold "staff meetings" every morning with the family
Basically it was him saying "Okay, I'm going to sleep all day while shedding on the couch but I plan to get up and eat about four times and come in and out eight times in a span of twenty-five minutes around 2 o'clock, so you pricks better be ready to pour the food and hold the door for me. And don't friggin' touch me."
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Reciprocity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 01:41 AM
Response to Original message
48. You should NEVER have children, and if you do I pity them.
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Minnesota Libra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 02:21 AM
Response to Original message
49. OMG, that's the best belly laugh I've had in a LONG time and............
......I needed that.:rofl: And the more I read that the more I :rofl: Thanks!!!!

Am I correct in assuming the cat belongs to you SO??:hide: Have you discussed these dinner plans you have for the cat with your SO??:argh:

THANKS FOR THE ONGOING:rofl:
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Hardrada Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 02:32 AM
Response to Original message
51. Our previous cat, Waldorf-Astoria, thought behind
each door was a different season. He would check out the back when we let him out there and quickly would come in out of the winter but would then head for the front door where, he obviously thought, it was a different season, an entry into May or June. I was amused and a bit sad at his disappointment. We made up for this in spring (when it is beautiful here) and let him be out all he wanted.
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