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GinaMaria Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 11:03 PM
Original message
Creative Challenge Mission Statements
If you could write an honest Mission Statement for the company you work for,what would it say?

Still working on mine. So far it's been too nasty to post.
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
1. Mission statements for companies are all crap.
They all come down to the same thing: kick the competitions' ass.
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GinaMaria Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Maybe I'm the only one in dysfunctional work envirnonment?
I'm toying with:

Committed to being cautious to the point of market place paralysis and innovative only when absolutely risk free.
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. Now THAT I like
full of corporatespeak that says a lot without saying a thing. Perfect!
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 11:17 PM
Response to Original message
3. Here at (Company Name) we strive to increase customer ROI
using time tested certification methods and award winning, industry leading, satisfaction strategies. Our customers will be reminded of the industry wide paradigm shift in critical synergies as we move forward to exceed their expectations with regard to increased outside the box thinking, just im time implementation, and critical path identification. Our mission is to excell where our customers have managed to achieve only limited and negligable success. This dedication to expanding our core compentencies, resource management, and time allocations will guide the customer to higher and higher levels of success.
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GinaMaria Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-19-06 01:38 AM
Response to Reply #3
7. Excellent
Really long Mission statements, full of the latest catch phrases and incoherent enough that no one can align their goals to it, is just what we need more of in the business world. Extra points for using the following words:

Paradigm
Outside the box
just in time
critical path
core competencies

:-)
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Ron Mexico Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 11:27 PM
Response to Original message
5. Committed to recognizing and rewarding
singularly focused right-wing thought, greed and innovatively questionable attitudes and professional ethics.
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GinaMaria Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-19-06 01:35 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. Damn funny!
Here's another:
Committed to process centric customer engaement by employing anybody who rode the little bus to school guaranteeing customer satisfaction by blaming every issue on IT.
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