Oh well, now I have to actually see a real doctor

It's been 11 years since I last went to a doctor and that was only because I tried to shoot someone with a rubber-band and it snapped back into my eye, ripping my cornea. x( I tried to let it heal itself, but after the first night I realized that it wasn't going to stop discharging its eye stuff. Damn eye juice sealed my eyelid shut. ;-) <---I looked like that except w/out the smile.

It's not that I don't believe in modern day medicine, I just don't want anyone poking, probing and stabbing me for no good reason. And I have been pretty healthy for these last 41 years. But the day has come my friends, I had to find a doctor out there to fix me up. :(

It's non-life threatening, but may cause me to get one of those surgery thingies. I found one doctor who was into that holistic medicine, but there is no way that I am going to just be sippin' green tea and sleeping under a pyramid if I have to get my gut cut open. I will demand morphine and nothing less!

Ok, I just wanted to vent a bit here. This is the first time I had to really find a doctor myself and all that crap. And if I am going to be laid up for anytime that will suck too. I am single and live alone. I can ring that damn bell over and over for someone to bring me something and no one is gonna pay any mind to it.

Thanks for reading. :hi:

But I had to say;

"It's been 11 years since I last went to a doctor and that was only because I tried to shoot someone with a rubber-band and it snapped back into my eye, ripping my cornea."

That is a funny story.

It happened here at work, and I still hear about it.

When I went to the emergency room the woman behind the desk said "Oh my, what happened?" and I said "You know how your mom tells you not to play with rubber bands or you'll shoot your eye out?". She said "That's not very funny young man". I thought it was..lol.

But the rubber band story is funny. It's right out
of Appalachian Emergency Room minus Tyler.

It was funny and it still is to me. It was the second time I damaged that eye. The first time was when I was 8 and my brother and I were fighting over a key...and I won! He let go and it jabbed me in the eye. I had to go to school with a patch on my eye for a few weeks. That sucks for an 8 year old..lol.

I won't even get into when my cousin stuck a stick in me ear and popped it thru my eardrum. LOL

You should send your stories to the SNL writers!
It's a wonder that any of us made it through
childhood.

Any of us!

Seriously, about 6 months or so after my eardrum healed, my sister went to slap me and I turned my head. She cupped her hand and it finished off my eardrum. The same one! Believe it or not, my hearing is fine these days.

Here's two split-lip stories...

My sister went out trick-or-treating and got one of those big, stale Tootsie Rolls. Naturally, I started twisting into into a hard, sharp object. I then thought it'd be funny if I threw it at her. Well, I did and I split her lip wide open. She was very pissed, because well, try explaining that one to the kids at school. I wish I could say this happened when I was a kid, but no. I was around 20 and she was 15.

The other...
I'm stocking the refridgerator at work one fine, drunken morning. You see, Tuesday was the big coworker's night out and Wednesday was a day I had to be in at 6am. The manager was fine with this, since Kristi and I were better at our jobs drunk than half the sober ones. Anyway, we were sobered up by the time we were open for customers. Anyway, perhaps if I was sober, I'd have had the physical reflexes to avoid the container of soy yogurt as it flew off the shelf at my face. However, I didn't have those reflexes and it cut my lip open. Prior to this, I had been in the hospital with a bizarre strep infection that attacked the skin around my eye. I had finally stopped looking deformed from the eye thing and I ended up with a cut on my lip that looked like a herpes infection for a few days. I was not a happy camper.

find another one

Thanks for the headsup. :thumbsup:

exploding spleen?

gutshot?

c'mon man - curious minds wanna know. And to hell with ringing a bell. Damned angels can earn their wings like the rest of us, I say.

Strange thing is.. someone just had the exact same one here last week. I forget who though. Umbilical hernia?

Fortunately for you, you happen to be chatting with an outstanding General Surgeon. ;-) Go the traditional cutter route for the fix, and probably for the pain management, but knock yourself out with whatever spiritual/shamanistic support you'd like for the rest of the ordeal. Post here when you go under - I'll ring a bell for you, anyway.

I feel like my guts are gonna fall out soon. I'm sure it's just a mental thing. :)

I hope I'm not laid up too long though, I'll get too antsy.

after my knee surgery I was hopping or crab walking all over my house and trying to take care of three dogs too. My mom said my uncle just sat in bed and rang a little bell all day and his 2nd wife would wait on him. Just another one of the benefits of being good looking and having a good job.

So it ain't about the angels, unless one wants to earn their wings by bringing a temporary quasi-invalid something to drink!!

Close to 10 years since I last saw a doctor. Haven't had any problems that seemed to call for it. I'm in a new HMO so I had to first get assigned to someone. Did that this morning now I'm arguing with myself about making the actual appointment.

At least I could have had this taken care of when it happened. I say...just do it. :)