Post a useless talent you are possessed of

I can blow smoke rings.

Pucker up, position the tongue and blow away! :bounce:

(:eyes: yeah that one was so bad it stuck in my throat, so to speak)

posted in the wrong place

:thumbsup:

:hug:

:P

:hug:

:9

:hug:

She totally kicked my ass on a thirty mile loop. Of course her bike is a chrome-molybdenum miracle and mine is a shitty hunk of fiberglass, but I digress.

:pals: I've done back to back centuries, even. Yowsah!

:hi:

I'm fluid, baby! :hi:

yet another thing we have in common....:pals: I used to always freak my teachers out when I was in school, raising my freakish-looking double-jointed arm. It's one of my many "circus tricks". :D

:hi: KW! Nice to see ya! :hug: :loveya:

Great to see you too!

I am usually just passing through here of late.

I can gross people out with my thumb. It rocks!

:loveya:

and both my elbows are double jointed...
we could be the freak sisters
:hi::hug::hi::hug:

heheheh. Greetings, O' Freakish One!! :hug: :hi:

Kewl!

I used to creep out my brother when I was a kid!

My niece and nephew, on the other hand, are too blase' about it.

These kids today, with their hula hoops and their fax machines...feh!

:)

:rofl:

:bounce:

That one sounds pretty darn useFUL to me!

:cry:

...those bullets are pretty darn fast, too.

entertainment trivia for the late sixties, seventies, and early eighties. But my memory is not as good as it used to be. Lipitor, you know. ;)

I can normally react quicky enough to grab it out of mid-air before it hits the ground. I'm like Spiderman over here.

SHOULD... :(

far back. I can touch my thumb forward to my forearm, and I can bend my elbow back pretty far. Also, I can roll my tongue. I'm as recessive as recessive can be.... :rofl:

It's a skill I gained after unwillfully dislocating my left shoulder. Oh yeah and assorted parts of my body pop and click randomly. Ah, the martial arts.

Suppose that a double-hung window is open and the venetian blind (or mini-blind) is hanging as far as the sill and is adjusted to admit no light. If I want to bend a slat to peek out through the blind, I am better than 95% likely to pick the slat that's directly in front of the upper edge of the pane, so I can't actually see anything.

If I could make money at this, I'd be a billionaire.

I can wiggle my ears.....

And I can arch my right eyebrow!

:woohoo:

I think this is a talent that Leonard Nimoy has too. So you're in good company!

Mark.

usually with just a quick glance while passing a car in traffic.

But since I'm married, it won't get me laid. :(

Just get your busking licence first though. Mark.

;)

using spell-check....even words I can't pronounce correctly.

The reason this talent is useless is because, now, there is spell-check.



Tikki

I can do the left but it hurts just a bit so I stick to my right shoulder

:shrug:

speak always in haiku form
and annoy people.

but seriously
i can also climb trees much
faster than you can.

especially at high speed.

My dad taught and teaches this skill. Incredibly important in the UK with narrow roads.

Mark.

but i'm not an emergency responder...i just like to get to where i'm going as quickly as possible.

i'm not really joking either- even my wife admits that i drive very well, and have extremely fast reflexes.

even in a bar half-filled with horny, drunken hookers at last call.

it's an art.

Self deleted

how worthless is that?!?!

:P

:toast:

:hug:

and I can do an excellent impression of godzilla's bellow. I do the alligator thing when sitting on my dock in the evenings and see an alligator gliding by in the distance. Both totally useless talents. i do the godzilla thing while watching old godzilla movies and drinking beer.

But you do have a very gorgeous cat.

I belonged to a smokers club a long time ago, and when we did smoking tricks for money....I won $20.00 (each member (4), put up $5.00) to win the smokers contest, and I won by lighting a cigarette through my nose.

I want to try.

also, I can make a fist and put my thumb completely behind my knuckles, up on the back of my hand. I can also bend my fingers backward to about a 70-degree angle.

I don't ever want to see any of those. No offense. :P

I have, like, useful talents too -- I can play guitar. I write on a professional basis, so I must do that reasonably well... but, hey, they asked for Useless, and I delivered :P

And I can make pie.

And make verses whose scansion is phat
On almost any topic,
Though too philanthropic
Am I to put DU through that.

lavender :P

my tongue up my nose.

That in and of itself is not very useful, although the myriad applications are staggering. ;)

to shove that thing. :P

Now that would be a Useful talent.

and I'll be your best friend.

:evilgrin:

My, it's getting hot in here. :blush:

game of 'jacks'.



Tikki

:bounce: :hi:

and very often streetlights go out when I'm under them, but I don't have any control over it.

It's the one skill I learned in college that I still use, if only to show off. (Especially when we buy oranges at the supermarket.)

I also play bass guitar, which is the one instrument in rock guaranteed *not* to get you laid. I should start a band with XNASA: "The Celibates." (Maybe "The Inscrutables.")

I played bass in a band once, and I assure you it would've gotten me laid (though I passed up the opportunity because my girlfriend/wife would have objected)

actually, come to think of it, maybe it had nothing to do with playing bass and was merely because of my manly handsomeness ;)

I can go to events, reunions, parties etc. where people are taking pictures everywhere and somehow I won't appear in even a single one. There are years at a time I can't prove that I even exist.

I'm not camera shy either. People just don't point cameras in my direction.

:hide:

:rofl:

I've never been flamed in GD. I just gave up after a while.

Now stand back and watch this thread die a slow, horrible, lingering death

See, this thread isn't dead yet. :P

no batteries of course

Honest, at former jobs, it wasn't Christmas without me channeling Elvis.

Even on a Saturday afternoon. It's not just a talent--it's a gift, like finding water in the desert.

Last night's gem: Walker, Texas Ranger goes undercover to break up a prison fight club. Bonus: Guest star was Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

(Of course, finding Walker Texas Ranger on basic cable is something like shooting fish in a barrell, but it was the most recent find. I also found "Left Behind 2" "starring" Kirk Cameron a few weeks ago. That one's still giving me nightmares. Hilarious nightmares.)

Oh! And I used to have the Dewey Decimal System memorized but that skill has deteriorated quite a bit. But there was a time where a person could give me a book and I could give it's place in the system like that.

These things aren't terribly appreciated in our society, so they're somewhat "useless." Still, I get an enormous amount of pleasure from music, so it isn't useless to me.

Or chicken....

Mark.

her babies.

Go figure. :shrug:

:-)

noise when you fart--like cough or clear your throat.

So my fingers can do this weird "clicky robot" thing, & I can scream VERY loud.

Oops, wrong thread. Sorry.

medical condition commentary to cause everyone to want to leave a restaurant before the appetizer arrives.

I sucked at Assembler, but it was a pretty underwhelming party trick.

the tekken fighting game...:) its a useless skill, basicallly...

Can also touch my nose with my tongue!!!

I can read Middle Egyptian hieroglypic texts.

I haven't ridden in a while though. One of the pedals fell off my vintage 1974 Sears unicycle and it will require a bike shop repair. I once rode it in a movie shot by a student film maker who went on to graduate film school at Columbia in NYC.

Yes, we actually had a contest.

Of course, my GI tract is getting me back several years later for doing forcible burping.

maybe that's a little more than anyone needs to know... :(

Live, never seen it before, doesn't matter. It's bizarre.

That is pretty much useless now that I'm not a baseball player. Sigh.

:D

swabs for my ears anymore.

Here I'll show you....

asfjamutg ijmqu4wrta0taiut43.lakauoaj 9uf0a43ut; au9fua94ewumjdsjvso4a asdur awur;aifu auetnao oosemv.z.zvu.ja.kjf oyoaw493;aj oa7sodfuwfkaj;osdasurr jafduacoajefauakfn auf0au4fafod794wu50auojafsugz asfj uewadruai.

Ouch!

:bounce: :bounce:

;)

smoke rings are kind of hit and miss, but sometimes ...

absolutely everyone will look through me, walk around me, walk INTO me, ignore me and not know I'm alive!

It's like I'm Harry Potter with his invisibility cloak!

:hi:

:rofl:

simultaneously, both backward writing and forward writing.

legibly but not beautifully.

It's the oddest thing, and yes, completely useless. Amazes my hubby though, does that count for something?

:P

Like, A LOT better. I wish desperately there was a national tournament for Tetris, because god knows I would win. Since there isn't, the only thing Tetris has ever given me is the beginnings of a joint disorder in one wrist/hand.

half way up my forehead.

I can also pick up things I've dropped, with my feet.

I can also find ticklish spots on those who claim to have none. Well... that's not an entirely useless talent. ;-)

I can tune an accoustic guitar in the forest. I can start a song and have the accompaniment come in behind me. And the digital age has rendered those useless.

I cultivated many other talents that have fallen victim to technology. I write Calligraphy. I can find any part of any analog media (vinyl, magnetic tape) on a huge recording. I can un-warp records (put them in the sun between 2 12" square pieces of glass). I can silk screen. I can spell without spell check. I can use a reference section in a library...

Oh,God...I'm freakin' SUPERFLUOUS!!!!!