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On my way home from work tonight, something told me to go ride over to UNCG (University of North Carolina-Greensboro) and just ride around the campus there. My aunt went(graduated) to UNCG in the early 80's and I would always ALWAYS come over and spend the night with her in her dorm room through the years that she was there and I would sometimes get to sit in her classes as long as I was quiet. I always liked the campus. And when she was there that was the happiest time of my life during the 80's - fittingly enough "Save A Prayer" by Duran Duran was playing on my CD player and as I rode past Aycock Auditorium (the place where I went to so many dance recitals 20 years ago) and the Music Building - it hit me that damn I want to go back to college. I want to go to UNCG ASAP - I was accepted to their School of Music in 1998 but I chose to go to NC State and major in Political Science. Oh well ...
But really I hate my job - I am happy to have a job don't get me wrong but I hate it when slackers get away with murder and I have always given my 100% , doing a job that 2 people don't even finish - a job that I finish in an hour and 2 people have 8 hours to finish and don't even finish at all. I hate being on a job where even the manager knows that I am good at what I am supposed to be doing but suddenly a trainer wants two other people to do it - two other slackers who she wanted to get rid of last week. And everyone around me knows it - I got tired tonight of everyone telling me without me bring the situation up that that they know that what is going on is wrong. I am not saying that I want my piece of the pie - its never about that with me. I have always gone the extra mile but the other people always go in the bathroom and hide for 15 minutes while everyone else cleans up. The other person fakes sick and goes home if they can't get light duty or get their way. Fair is fair - and things on my job is not fair. I know that nothing will never be perfect but some BS is not allowed. I went two steps over my manager's head and voiced my concerns about this and other things but I already know that nothing is going to come of it - the higherups are too afraid of conflict. Well when someone is not doing a good job , you need to tell them - not hold someone else who is good back because you are afraid the person who is not doing a good job will cry. And the manager (who is actually over my trainer) knows this . He has said it himself to me and others - he even told me I was better and faster than the other two people. I just want to know from my trainer that if I did anything wrong, I want to know so I can I better my performance. But I know I did'nt - its just that they are afraid to let the other workers know. So the good ones always suffer.For now until I probably go off , I will do my 8 hours and go home.
So you know what , this gives me more energy to move on. Back to college I go - I would rather work in a warehouse shipping out my own clothes or shipping out my own music. Music and fashion have always been my first two loves. I have so many ideas so wtf am I doing at this stupid place. When 2pm comes , I get sick on the stomach , I hate being there. When I drive away during my lunch break I don't even care if I am late coming back. I have portfolios under my bed of music I have composed , I listen to my own music on my iPod , I design T-shirts as well because everyone loves t-shirts. I am also into designing jewelery. I don't want to be trapped or waste any more time.I plan on majoring in Business in college when I go back . That's the last thing I would ever thought that I would be interested in but life is all about the unexpectant. I have finally found my path. Thank Goodness.
Sometimes you have to step in BS before you can see the light.
Thanks for letting me vent. Just needed to vent.
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