My brother a lifelong Democrat/Activist/Teacher committed suicide.

http://linux-serv.mendocino.cc.ca.us/~cpoteet/

My brother hanged himself this weekend. He was distraught over the loss of a job he had worked toward for over 25 years. The job, in fact that you see listed above. He was denied tenure.

I don't cast any blame on the college or the tenure committee. Colleges have budgets and computer science programs face declining enrollments in a period where it seems likely that your job or even your career could be shipped to India or China a year after you get your degree. That was part of the problem. Much of the problem was that this highly educated person with a commitment to teaching was unable to find a home in our current economy. Other parts were about our cultures refusal to honor the suffering of others particularly when they mask that suffering chemically. Some of ii may have been just the pain of feeling alone or perhaps never finding a life partner.

My brother was an activist since the early 80's. He worked with Students for Economic Democracy during his early studies at Chico State University. Later he decided that education was the key to reaching out to others and making lasting change. Frequently he quoted a book titled "Teaching As a Subversive Activity." For many years he explored innovative teaching methods in an after-school tutorial business he partnered in. Several times he sacrificed lucrative corporate jobs in order to explore opportunities to teach. Eventually he returned to get a masters in computer science with the goal of teaching at the junior college level. His goals were realized for a mere three years before he was shut out. This was also possibly due to his continued activism among the faculty at Mendocino College.

For whatever reason my brother was unable to face his pain and unable to reach out to his friends and family for the help he needed. Many of us feel like our jobs, or marriages or possessions define who we are and who we can become. Many of us, like myself, feel excluded from the bulk of american culture by our concern and commitment to the improvement of the community as a means of improving our individual lives. Many of us fail to reach out when we need to.

Please, please reach out for a helping hand if you need one. Reach again and again if necessary. Your families, your neighbors, coworkers and even just plain strangers would be willing to help if they understood where you are. And please help the next person who seems to you to be alone, lonely and/or grasping for human contact. Somewhere that person has a mother, father, maybe siblings, nieces and nephews like my brother did. When you help one person you help many.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. Love and light to you and your family. :hug:

I'm sorry your brother didn't reach out. And I am so very sorry for your loss. I know words are not adequate to express how I feel. I know words cannot heal your pain. But it if helps even a bit, please know that I hold you and your family in my heart. I have lost people I care deeply about, and while the hurt never completely heals (and I would not lie to you about that), it does ease some as time passes, and at some point, you will be able to remember your brother with smiles and warmth, and not just tears and pain. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your brother has found some peace. And I hope that at some point in time, you and your family also find peace. :hug:

Sincerest condolences.

and lost of words. The good ones die young.

My deepest condolences to you and your family.

All that I can ask is that those of us who have a little margin in our lives to help others start paying forward now. Activism to improve job opportunities and realistic unemployment insurance would be a nice place to start.

to do whatever we can, in whatever way we can, to make this world a better place. To help those who maybe, for a time, cannot help themselves. We may not be able to completely stop this kind of thing, but we need to reach out to people in whatever way we can.

My heart is with you and your family, and you have my deepest sympathies and hope for whatever degree of healing you can find.

:hug:

As a person who has had suicidal thoughts before I now have learned through my healing of depression that suicide does not only hurts the committer but the people that they leave behind. And I can't imagine leaving my family in that kind of pain.

:hug:

:hug:

My thoughts arew with you and your family at this very difficult time.

:hug:

I'm sure this is the hardest thing you'll ever endure.

:hugs:

to you and your family at this time. Remember your brother as he was and wanted to be, savor the good memories and the love.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

He sounds like a truly remarkable human being. I am so sorry that you and your family have to face this terrible loss. Thank you for reminding all of us that we shouldn't sit back and wait to help others who may be suffering. We need to reach out whenever we see a need.

:hug:

You and your family are in my thoughts. :hug:

Your loss has struck at me today.....

Three years ago, my brother-in-law also took his own life, and it changes how you see the world in so many ways...

My deepest condolences to you and your family at this time......

My prayer is that your pain will pass from you very soon.


:hug:

my prayers are with you and your family during this sorrowful time. :hug:

Your frequent example of kindnesss and compassion has served me well.

May he finally find peace. :hug: to you Porcupine, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

aA

:hug:

I am very sorry. I hope your family is holding together. :hug:

My condolences :hug:

such a sad and lonely place that your brother no longer wished to be in it. I know nothing can ease your pain right now, but we are all thinking of you. :hug:

these are the most difficult for the enlightened amongst us.
We need to take care of one another...
My best to you and your family.
AzDar

struggling with depression is very difficult

My Mom lost two brothers to mental illness, and it affected so many people. Hugs to you and your family.:hug:

I hope that the wounds heal quickly.

You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. :hug:

might his suffering be over. Pace and comfort to you, Porcupine.

I know that no words can make the pain go away and never will. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and in my heart.

:hug:

If I can do anything...even just listen...feel free. I've had someone close choose the same path and I know how painful.

:hug:

:hug: May you and your family have peace. :hug: :cry:

:(

there is just nothing i can say -- but please know i will be sending my thoughts your way.

Can't find a job in IT after his company moved their manufacturing operations overseas. He's attending school now at age 53, and I'm really worried about how he'll cope when he gets out. He's attempted suicide before, when he was in his 20's; I'm hoping that having a VERY supportive wife will make a difference for him.

But I'm worried anyway. Thank you for your post - I will keep a better eye out for him, and make more of an effort to reach out.

Reaching out to people has been at the forefront of my thinking lately. I lost a good friend a month ago, he was a nurse and always interested in helping others. This world needs more connectedness, more caring and more love. To paraphrase a Zen quote "This life happens in the physical plane -- so what we may think, feel or say matter a little less than what we do." To me that means "reach out" and be there. It can lower someone's (already bruised) self-esteem to be helped (or even to ask for it) and I keep that in mind also.

In my struggle to make peace with my loss, I have been somewhat aided by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's final book "On Grief and Grieving." She stresses that each person's loss and grief are as unique as their relationship to the loved one and therefore deeply personal but in a lifetime spent making peace with death and loss, she saw and documented some of the common things we go through. Understanding my struggle a little better, has helped me deal with it.

:hug:

and want to thank you for sharing this with us, through this excellent post.

I have personally had a really crap year, and was feeling quite depressed and hopeless, but I started volunteering as a "friend" to seniors who have no relatives in nursing homes. This small step was revolutionary.

I am filled with sorrow to hear that someone so bright, so giving, decided that it was no longer worthwhile. Mostly, I am sorry for your own personal loss.

:grouphug:

We all need to try to keep our focus on what's really important.

What a wonderful man. I can't help but think of all the lives he touched through his teaching, and how far those ripples of kindness and compassion will be carried forth through the lives of those he touched, and those they will influence in turn. Indeed, he has inspired me even today.

So sorry for his loss.


A hug for you:




And a candle for Charles:

Whew. If you want to be in touch with him where he is now, drop me a p.m. With simple imagery, you can take advantage of thess very potent next few days and recalibrate and resolve what's been left undone between you and him. People have even had success extending that benefit between family members. A great, magnificent time is available for you and those who knew him now because any positive effects he comes away with touches everyone he knew and settles them as well.

:hug: Your brother sounds like a great guy. :hug:

you and your family will be in my prayers. :hug:

Words are never adequate at times like this but you and your family have my deepest and most sincere thoughts, prayers, sympathies and condolences:hug:

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. :hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug:

There are no words.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Your brother sounded like a wonderful person. May he find peace.

:cry:

I am so very sorry.

Light and love to you and your family.

:hug:

:hug:

Thank you for reminding us to remember to care and to remember that there are always others who care and will be willing to listen and help.

Peace and strength to you.

your brother was.

I'm so very, very sorry, Porcupine. I can't even imagine the pain you're going through. You and your family are in my thoughts. :hug:

Our deepest condolences...

:hug:

My heart goes out to you and his friends and family.

My belief is that your brother is at peace, at last. These are difficult times for people who care and for those struggling with depression or loss sometimes the burden can be overewhelming. Thank you for sharing your words of support and concern for people like your brother. It is perhaps small comfort now, but your great loss may serve a greater purpose. Again, I'm sorry for what you are going through.

my father was a suicide. We had no idea he was distraught enough to do something so drastic. I have been part of two Survivors groups and for the most part, the others in the groups have said the same thing about their loved one.

When you are ready I encourage you to find a Survivors group in your area. Being with others who have suffered this type of loss is a very good thing.

We all understand death, and loss but if you haven't lost a loved one in this manner you just have no idea ...trust me I know.

PM me if you need to.

Things get worse by the day, and this is the fate that awaits too many of us that just can't take it anymore. Reach out and show your fellow Dem brothers and sisters some love. We all need it now more than ever.

My sincere condolences, Porcupine.

:grouphug:

"Each one of us here today will, at one time in our lives,look upon a loved one in need and ask the same question;
we are willing, Lord, but what, if anything is needed?

For it is true that we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give, or most often than not, that part we have to give...is not wanted.

And so it is those we live with and should know elude us... We can love-completely even without complete understanding."

brother.

Like other posters have said, he sounds like a loss for all.

everyday I see more signs that we as a people have forgot how to love, and it makes me sad.