So I went on a date to Olive Garden last week with a lovely woman.

She had 3 kids and couldn't afford a baby-sitter, so we had to take her kids along, including her fussy little baby that cries a lot but is sooooooo cute. My car is too small for such a large group, so we had to take her car, it was either a used Hummer or Ford Excursion (I couldn't see up to the hood ornament so I'm not sure). Anyway we were at the restaurant for a little while and then her two older kids started throwing salad and breadsticks at each other and some of the other customers. But we didn't bother to stop them from doing that. I didn't intervene because they aren't my kids, and she was to busy breast-feeding the infant, as well as chain smoking cigarettes, and openly making out with me at the table. (she's a multi-tasker, what can I say?) So when the main course arrived, veal for the grownups, she made sure the kids filled up on salad and breadsticks, she decided that it was time to say table grace. Since she insisted that I lead the benediction, I said "Come Lord Jesus, be our guest and let these gifts to us be blessed". She somehow found my table grace to be inadequate, saying "What the hell kind of fucking table grace is that?" and began a long-winded prayer that culminated in "speaking in tongues". We ate our meal and the children continued to play, the infant needed to be changed and cried loudly for about ten minutes, but fortunately the couple at the next table didn't seem to mind my date using their table to perform the changing. Normally she is able to ignore her children's misbehavior, which she said is the best way to get them to quit behaving badly, but when she was trying to decide which desert she wanted, one of the older kids begain complaining that "this restaurant is stupid" and that she was "a shitty mom". This got her angry and she decided that it was time for a spanking in front of the whole restaurant. It was kind of difficult enjoying desert with him crying from the spanking, but we did, and finally we left the restaurant. We finally went back to her house where her kids played violent video games with the volume turned up all the way, and we retreated to the boudoir. I think I see wedding bells in my future ;-)

The way I felt when I left O.G.

And You can SMOKE at the Olive Garden? Maybe I'll go there after all... Do I have to wear a shirt? (I'm female.)

On the way back, the only way I could get her to stop smoking at the gas station was to point out that if she kept on chaining the cigs the gas might explode.

:rofl:

;-) Fuck those assholes at eharmony, with their "your test results yield no matches" bullshit

:rofl:

just sit back, have a drink, and enjoy the freak show.

how much extra crap can they put in those bowls? :shrug:

it's the Olive Garden way! ;)

so that we can buy our own Winnebago

who they are. By the way, how are her gingivitis and herpes?

Which makes fore some interesting sensations if you catch my drift.

or then we'd have to lock the thread

Including the baby...which is why it screamed so loudly.

of salad and breadsticks, that was their meal. Veal was for the grownups

I hope so.

:shrug:

but 24 hours has passed.

all other behavior is okay, so long as there was no loud cell-phone talking.....

That just makes waiters and waitresses more addicted to the social welfare system that takes money from customers and gives it to the lower-classes who refuse to advance themselves in life and spend their working time (when they aren't drunk or hepped up on crack, anyway) at low-class jobs like waiting tables.

Please have mercy on my beloved Cardinals today...

and a beer so the baby could have a little fun, too.