WTF??? Getting cursed out at 4 AM...

:wtf: OK, hubby got up at 4 AM to pee. While he was doing that, one of our dogs decided she had to go outside to do the same thing. When hubby came back to bed, I asked him to let her out. Well, sir.... This is what I was greeted with: "Why do I have to do that, you stupid bitch? You can f*cking let her out yourself!: :yoiks: I said, "You're already up." He said: "F*ck you!" (and not in a good way) and crawled back in bed. Stunned (and now fully awake), I said, "You go f*ck yourself!" and got up to let her out. :grr: He was already snoring by the time I got back in bed. :mad: I couldn't fall back to sleep until about 6AM because of all this. He CLAIMS now that he doesn't remember anything about it. Yeah, right---he's just embarrassed. :eyes:

Nothing like verbal abuse at 4 AM.... :nuke: That kind of venom is uncalled for, and I'm not sure where it came from. 99% of the time, if the dogs need to go out in the middle of the night, I am the one doing it.

Just had to vent. :grr:

Bad, bad, bad... :hug:

We had an OK evening with no fighting---it was pretty pleasant, actually. I don't take shit from anyone, and he knows it. (I used to, but I learned to stand up for myself.) If he thinks I'm gonna forget it and act like nothing happened, he's got another thing coming... :grr:

Thanks. :pals:

:wtf:

:hug: Nobody deserves that, and I'm really angry about it this morning.

Anyone would be. :hug:

I did that, I would be dead...

WTF?

I don't understand that.

(yet, I must admit my mind is ticking away already)

I don't understand it either. :hug:

:)

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
                                                  :loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya:
                              :loveya::pals::pals::pals::pals::hug::hug::hug::hug::pals::pals::pals::pals::loveya:
          :loveya::loveya::loveya::pals::pals::pals::hug::hug::hug:YOU ARE HERE:hug::hug::hug::pals::pals::pals::loveya::loveya::loveya:
                             :loveya::pals::pals::pals::pals::hug::hug::hug::hug::pals::pals::pals::pals::loveya:
                                                  :loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya:
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

And know that across the world, a mind is ticking away at finding more ways to help. :)
tick, tick, *crack* *tinkle* shit. Hmmm, how well did he form his words, if you don't mind me asking.

(something about the memory thing, perhaps he doesn't, needs cross reference)

His words were perfectly formed. No slurring or sleepy-sounding anything.

Hmmmm. Hmmmmmm. Tick, tock.

Hugsies again :hug:.

Just as long as he knows that it is unacceptable.

And that other important thing, I hope you two find happiness. :)

We've been married almost 14 years, and we've had our ups and downs, but the past couple of years, he's sort of withdrawn from things. I think he's harboring resentment of some sort even though he says he's not, and it shows up in unexpected ways---like this. :(

attribution error, but there must be something I can think of to differentiate.

Well then, the main Freudian things don't apply, you don't sound like he has fixated behaviours or obsessions, but there is always the chance of either something that was learned using a cross of mediated cognition and vicarious learning, or that we are both committing the FAE. Hmmm.

I just hope that this doesn't become significant or quick changes in behaviour (something physically wrong) and that it can be resolved. We just need some way of telling what is wrong. IIRC, you have multiple degrees and a psych degree, yes? I wonder if there is some gentle way of testing if whatever is wrong lies in any of the more well-defined ones. If it is indeed a long term pattern (the becoming withdrawn thing)

My $0.05 :) A little love can go a long way, after all.

:hug:

I'm sorry. I know how it goes, I am the one that bears 99% of the responsibility for the dogs here, too.

THE ISSUE HERE IS ABUSE, NOT PET RESPONSIBILITIES

At least not based on one story. It is possible that he has some sleep disorder. Again, I know nothing more about said relationship than the info contained in the original post.

DU first: getting yelled at for giving a hug.

that guy was verbally abusive - I would have had it out with the SOB right then if even just to find OUT if he had some sort of "sleep disorder"

that we regretted or didn't mean when we were tired/sick/angry/whatever. You're making an assumption that this is a trend. Maybe it is, but I don't have enough information from the original post to assume that.

and verbal abuse is serious business - no one should tolerate it for one second

:hug: Today's gonna be really fun.... not!

WAKE HIM UP AND KICK HIS ASS

and he SAYS he doesn't remember. Yeah, right. :eyes: I kicked his ass verbally a little while ago. :applause:

:thumbsup:

I've had entire conversations with my wife in my sleep and don't remember a bit of them. In fact, just the other night, my wife and I were staying at a bed and breakfast when she accidentally tore down one of the towel hangers on the bathroom door in the middle of the night. When I saw that it was missing the next morning, then saw it sitting on the dresser, I asked what happened. Seems we had an entire conversation about the incident when it happened, and I still don't remember a single thing about it happening.

He's never forgotten any conversation we've had like that, so unless he's becoming forgetful, he remembers. :( Hell, I've forgotten middle-of-the-night conversations many times, but he hasn't.

Thanks, though---anything's possible. :hug:

nope, I'd kick his ass, dreaming or not

I won't remember any of it though. Once I overslept for work, and when they called me, I told my manager, "you know, I really don't even know why the hell I answer the phone when you people call me." She said she got caught so off-guard that she apologized and hung up. After hanging up, she was like, "why the fuck did I just apologize?" It was a friendly enough working environment that we just found the whole thing funny though.

of four or five real hotties when nature called him to the bathroom. Knowing he would have no chance getting back into that place with his multiple hotties in dreamland decided to give you hell.
My wife and I have pretty much the same agreement. Who ever is up lets the dog out. That kind of verbal abuse though generally stems from another issue. Stress, Disappointment, lack of sex, or being waken from a dream with a bunch of hotties.

If he doesn't apologize I would guess he is embarrassed knowing what he did was way out of line. The other thing is, he may just be an a$$ hole. I think he owes you an apology a dozen, roses, breakfast in bed and a month of letting the dog out in the middle of the night.:evilgrin:

Or just burn his eggs and toast.

I'm going to post an update below in a few minutes, but he SWEARS he doesn't remember any of that, including going to the bathroom. I'm not any less upset about it, but I'm giving him the benefit of a doubt at the moment. If it happens again, he will be sorry it ever happened.

I have one question...is he taking ambien by any chance? I've read where some folks on ambien do things in a sleep like state and don't remember whast it is they did.

Sorry your day began that way.

...he takes Wellbutrin for depression.

Thanks! :)

After my husband and I first got married, he was going to take me on my very first camping trip. I spent that Friday packing and was very excited about it. We would be leaving early that Saturday morning. That Friday night I woke up (I thought) and saw the round light on my old clock radio. That light changed and became the headlight on a truck that was going to run over my and my husbands legs--because we were sleeping in sleeping bags on the side of the road ( my eyes were open, but I was still asleep). Frantically, I woke up my husband and said, "we have to move--a truck is going to run over our legs!!". He said, "well, lets move then". But, when I tried to move, one of my legs was stuck (wrapped in a sheet). I said, "I can't move--my leg is stuck!". My husband, sitting up in bed, leaned over and started tugging on my leg. As he did this, I REALLY woke up and saw that the headlight was really just the light on my clock radio. I said, "never mind, I was just dreaming". He laid back down and said,"oh nooooo", and went back to sleep.
The next morning at breakfast I told him I was sorry for waking him up and somehow dragging him into my dream. He DID NOT remember anything about it!!

Maybe your hubby was not fully awake last night. You have told him how you feel about it, so if he remembers it--he knows he f*ck*d up. If he really does not remember it---maybe he was still asleep.

What a wild dream.. I'm getting ready to post an update below, but he still swears he doesn't remember. He might not.

a little story.

a woman in our family married what she thought was a charming man -- and indeed he became so.

but when they first married -- he pulled a little surprise.

he came into the kitchen in his underwear -- sat at the kitchen table -- and demanded his breakfast.

bacon, eggs, coffee -- a regular menu.

and did so in the most degrading kind of way you can think -- so

behind him he hears his new little wife getting ready to fix his breakfast -- pots and pans rattling about -- with the sure authority of a practiced cook.

the next thing he knows he is waking up -- on the floor with a HUGE lump on the back of his head -- and she is finishing her breakfast.

she had hit him upside his head with a cast iron frying pan.

she then informed him that there was a way to talk to her and a way not -- and that he should be prepared to look after himself since he was a grown man after all.

she then informed him that if he cared to escalate this -- she could assure him that he would wake up dead.

true story -- and he was THE MOST pleasant of husbands after that.

He didn't come home from work until 3:00 a.m. I had a newborn baby that needed milk, no food in the house and I was out of cigarettes. He was out playing pool. Well, when he pulled up in the driveway at 3:00 a.m., I saw red. I was standing on a chair next to the door (he was 6'3" and I am only 5'3") and conked him over the head with the frying pan. Knocked him clean out. I have never regretted it.

sometimes we really need a cast iron pan upside the head.

it's -- a guy thing.

...so I guess I'll keep it handy! :)

can't type, laughing too hard...

I would never use that sort of language with my wife in a demeaning manner like that. I think he needs an attitude adjustment. :hug:

:hug:

I would not tolerate that for one second.

Check my update below in a few minutes.

he'd be dragged outside by the ear, with the door slamming and locking behind him!

My ex didn't even talk to me that badly as I was moving out the door and he gave me some verbal whoppers in the end. I don't think my current SO would even think it, let alone say it, like ever. For me, to say and do terribly things to someone you supposely love kind of breaks that commitment. I simply wouldn't tolerate being treated that way.

I hope she and her husband can get some help in their relationship. This stuff hurts. :(

It does hurt. :hug: I'm posting an update below.

Check the update below---it'll shed more light on the situation. :)

Are you sure he was awake? I've been told that I curse madly and threaten to murder my alarm clock as if it were a person in gruesome detail before waking up calm and unaware that anything has happened.

He swears he doesn't remember anything, including getting up to go to the bathroom. I'm posting an update below.

That kind of behavior makes me Furious. If I understand where it's coming from, it's one thing (but it still pisses me off), but for it to come out of nowhere like that...

I'd be spitting nails right about now.

I think we've got it sorted out....but if it happens again....he'd better watch out! :grr:

Posting an update below.

someone i cared about, nor can I imagine having it used on me. Strange things happen when very sleepy people get up in the middle of the night, but that seems way out of line.

:hug:

Thanks. :hug: For what it's worth, check out my update. It'll shed more light on the situation.

Who knows? He swears he doesn't remember a thing. Update below!

If I said that shit to my wife at 4am, I either 1) not be going back to sleep in that bed; or 2) if I had already fallen asleep, not be waking up.

More than un-called-for.

Man alive.

He's being very contrite but saying he doesn't remember anything. Update below.

Don't put your business in the street.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Great saying! Thanks.

including getting up to pee. He was very confused and kept wanting to talk about it all day yesterday, which I guess is a good sign. He couldn't believe he couldn't remember. I was still upset about it, but I agreed to give him the benefit of a doubt this one time. He knows that if it happens again, conscious or unconscious, he will be sorry it ever happened. :grr:

This behavior was/is atypical for him...but it had to come from somewhere, even if he was dreaming. It alarms me to think that even in his subconscious, he might think things like that. You can bet I'm on the alert now and watching those things very closely.

We've had our share of problems, and over the past three years or so, I have come very close to leaving him three times. We've been working on things, so this may be the litmus test now.

Thanks for your concern! I really appreciate it. :hug:

I suffered from panic attacks for a while and like, weird stuff happens during them like people you know seem unfamiliar and you lose your attachment to things you like and you think you're in grave danger. But it's all just adrenaline and stuff. I guess my point is that the brain can occasionally make you do and think things you normally wouldn't and it seems like it's from out of nowhere.

Plus I'd doubt it if you told me you've never wanted to go off on your husband like that.

with all the emotion and feelings you have felt from this incident. If it ever happens again hand it to him with a doctors appointment. Or a writ of divorce. But that is how I do things. It might not be right for you. Either way no one deserves that kind of treatment, unless they deserve it. Good luck and hope he just had a brain fart,:shrug:

My approach (although I don't know if it's a good idea or not - take this with a grain of salt) is to press him until he fesses up.

Otherwise :hug: to you. I'm sorry you had to deal with this.

just awful

I have no idea about your relationship but it sounds like something I would do.