What a day... on the plus side, I must be improving in the social arena.

So I get to the festival and already I know it's going to be an odd day: This pair of losers (aka stereotyped gay men with the muscles and everything) stop their car in the middle of the car park entrance just to look at the front bumper. Stalling traffic. I don't think they heard me growling "Cretins!" as I turned around before I got hit...

In the festival was interesting. Lots of corporate booths. Something like 20 years ago, there weren't booths. Just people. Making a statement. Nowawdays it seems corporations are making a statement for us. And that takes the personal interest out of things.

I was ignored at the MCC church booth. Whatever.

There were no republican booths this year, I noticed. Maybe the LCR one was hidden in a corner somewhere...

Outfront MN had it ususal voting-with-marbles area. Amazing that repugs got ANY votes at all; but the bias between those twits and the other politicians was fairly obvious nonetheless. (A repu7b got 2 marbles; the Dem candidate got about 1000...)

Wells Fargo bank had a big booth. As much as I wanted to tell the lackey trying to get me to sign up that the only bank I was interested would be a sperm bank, and then I'd only deal with live tellers, I basically said I already have an account there, thanks anyway.

Later, I saw a size 38-waist guy with a belly so large, it makes this one look like Twiggy by comparison:


Of course, he had a boyfriend too... I felt like the only single guy there. (What else is new :rofl: Still, that just means I need to find out and fix what's wrong with me.)

On the plus side, at two different points in the day, two couples came up to me and asked if I'd take their picture. That's cool. Usually I'm ignored like some freak, which is the typical response. I was happy to oblige; I actually have a use in life and can get past the interview process! :D (I do have some pics of the area, but nothing that outs people - unlike the channel 5 news crew. If I find out they aired me walking down the way I'll sue. They're supposed to get permission to use people, as I recall, and forgive me for saying I'm not just another anonymous fag - sorry.)

Of course, a storm was approaching - so I left to get something to eat. I'd been walking for 2 hours straight... I first went to a local GLBT store and bought a self-esteem book... then I went to the mall of america and walked around another 35 minutes. Finally, I leave there and go to a resataurant. WHich is for the best, I nearly blacked out by the time I arrived. :scared: It's different this time; I usually break out in a profuse sweat.

So I went in, and went through the buffet. Despite the only sugary substance being the diet coke/raspberry tea hybrid drink, I felt my blood sugar level skyrocket. Yuck. It took an hour but I felt nearly normal eventually.

I went back to the are and it looked humdrum so I went to the bar. After an hour of playing the machines, I left. And that's cool. Went to the bookstore just to stare down the people holding hands. :)

Let's see if I've learned from it...

There's nothing "wrong" with you to "fix". From what you post I've gotten the impression that you are an intelligent and witty person. With regards to careers and love lives people hit "dry patches". Sometimes full on "droughts" even but these are temporary, you know?

Just thought I'd throw that out there...

I am 34.

I grew up with a PDD (Asperger's Syndeome)... This rendered me a target for taunting, beatings, molestation, some "practical jokes" that I'll assure you on right now: You don't want to hear what they did... "God's little joke" was a phrase used on me often enough. And paraphrased by others. I hated gym class; for nobody wanted to dance with me... I didn't understand back then, but flashbacks now have me understanding their facial expressions. I was perceived as, amongst other things, being gross.

I have been 'out' for 9 years.

I had one "relationship" in 2000. It lasted exactly 3 months, minus 4 hours. (28 May - 28 August 2000.)

I've had nothing since.

I am in a time where being lonely hurts more than you can imagine.

And I've survived a great deal. And will continue to survive, and hope I do find somebody who has the tolerance. Pity, as I've got some mighty fine rewards most don't have.

But I have read up on any number of books pertaining to Autistic disorders. The reality is, what I seek may not be possible. Because of what is "handicapping" me.

Doesn't mean I don't have other things in my life as means to compensate, or at least closely compensate. But what it does mean is I am an easy sellout. yet nobody's selling. Sorry to speak in metaphor. It is the truth. I know I am intelligent. But IQ doesn't get people anywhere in this world. EQ does.


BTW: I'm going to the Pride Festival today. Just because I know I'm different; I'm not giving up in cowardice either. Someone, of either gender, is someone I am compatible with. To stop trying would be bad too. I just hope I find them soon enough. (I woke up with a numb leg again.)

I'm still very jealous of you for owning that fantastic GREEN SUEDE jacket.