When does self-acceptance become denial? Discuss.

All opinions on that question welcome. (My context: obesity. YMMV.)

When something goes terribly wrong, usually I look at my own behavior for the problem. That can be an unhealthy attitude at times, but you have a better chance at fixing something wrong with yourself than something wrong with society. And if the problem isn't with you and is with society, well, at least you have some practice at carefully examining yourself and playing devil's advocate with the ol' "I'm not crazy, it's the rest of the world" schtick. My few years of Catholic Sunday school taught me guilt and self-blame, at least. :D

AFA "something wrong w/ society" in my own case, I fixed that problem long ago by finding my self-acceptance (i.e., the kids snarking "no fat chicks" and giggling at me in the grocery store no longer bothered me).

What remains of my problem is mine entirely. :hi:

Oh, yeah -- Sunday School = guilt/blame: yep, got that, too. :eyes:

:hide:

Self-acceptance is very important for your happiness and peace of mind.

But the health implications with obesity are important to address.

:hug: I feel you, sister.

then you're not in denial.

I think it's important to find self-acceptance, but I wonder what it is that you're actually accepting.

Are you accepting that you can't do anything about it? That's defeatism.

Are you accepting that you have a problem with food? That could be your first step to finding your way out of the problem.

Bertha, I love that you love yourself. Frankly, my doctor told me that no one ever made lasting, positive changes to their lives without some element of self-love.

If you like your life the way it is (weight and all), then that's a beautiful thing that you can accept yourself in all of your humanity.

If you don't like your life the way it is, and you're just resigned to (what you think is the) fact that you can't do anything about it... then I would suggest some professional help.

:hug:

After seven years or so of trying, it was pretty clear that I could not do anything about it, and it was nice to be free of the pain and frustration of trying.

I think it is better to adapt to my life as it is, and make the best of it, than to spend alot of time, effort and passion futilely chasing after things that have proven impossible in the past. If I could not win (for example) the city tennis tournament, much less Wimbledon, at 30, or 20, it ain't gonna happen at 44.

I think that some of the treatments for obesity are getting better and better all the time. I know that I absolutely felt that I was never going to get my weight down, but then I found my answer. It is, in fact, and answer I know that Bertha is not comfortable with.

So the question becomes, is it really impossible, or rather, is the answer just something you're not willing to try?

And I'm not criticizing anyone's choices here. What's right for me may not be right for someone else. We all have to decide for ourselves how far we are willing to go to make the changes we want in our lives.

even though I was trying to gain weight (and muscle). I only tried the basics of eating more and lifting weights. I did not read any books or hire any help, so maybe I did not do enough, but I probably worked harder than 90% of the people who look at me and say, or think, "you should lift weights dude". Maybe not though, some of them are taking steroids.

as someone who grew up with weight issues (as well as bad teeth and glasses... lol) I find that trying to retain a balance between "acceptance" and "striving for improvement", while difficult to achieve, is important to physical and emotional health.

In other words, it's like the old saying with a slight change: I try to change the things I can change, and I also try to accept that no one is perfect except my cat. I try to stay active and be conscious of what I am eating and my other vices, but I also am not willing to beat myself up over what someone says or over my own moments of "weakness" (ie: enjoying life). It's not worth the stress. it's really hard though, especially with the constant deluge of media and cultural influence.

I guess my point is to strive for health and happiness, but not some impossible created version of who you think you should be or what you should weigh.

Self acceptance or denial? It's hard to call.

I think you need self acceptance before you make changes.... You have to see who you are first and aspire to who you want to be. A life long process. It never ends....


Play the obesity card again and I'll kick your ass. Yes, you are a big girl! WTF? If you are having health problems, sure, do what you can. Otherwise.....


Khash.