Just So You Know... I'm Gay.

Yep, that's right... I'm a big ol 'Mo! Gay as a goose! --- And just so you don't forget, I'll try to remember to post a thread reminding you about my gayness at least once a day.

I'll also tell you all about how wonderful homosexuality is, and I'll try to convince you to try becoming a homosexual for yourself. Or... even if you don't become a TOTAL 'mo... you can become a partial 'mo. Being gay is so much fun!

You'll know when I'm in a pissy mood because sometimes I'll criticize you, and tease you for NOT being gay. If you're not gay, then it's your FAULT, and you're just being selfish and cruel!

Furthermore, I'll remind you DAILY that you don't really NEED to be non-gay and that being non-gay is a choice. You don't need to have non-gay sex to reproduce because in this day and age, there are PLENTY of other options that are available to anyone who wants to breed.

As you know... there are many substitutes and some of the substitutes are almost as good as the real thing... unless you knew ahead of time, you can't even tell the difference. (If you know what I mean.)

Other times my daily gay threads will give you daily gay tips (Queer-Eye style) that ever good 'mo (and 'mo in training) needs to know. From fashion, decorating, cooking, and culture... the daily gay tips and recipes are sure to please everyone.

Dating tips, pick-up tips, and helpful hints on how-to-convert non-gays will be a regular. Also I'll feature a weekly "Dressing For Sex" slob-to-barfly makeovers. Occasionally I'll post Drag Queen tips: makeup, costumes, dance moves and lip synching techniques (plus: what to do when you've forgotten the words).

BE FOREWARNED: From time to time, if I spot any OTHER threads that contain discussions about non-gay people and non-gay relationships... then I'll probably post something snarky in it... and I'll end up hijacking your thread and turning it into a flame war about homosexuals (and how HORRIBLE anyone is who is NOT a homosexual.)

Essentially, my goal is to convert as many people to "homosexualism" as I possibly can. I'll always point out my homosuperiority and I'll belittle and ridicule anyone who challenges me.

Oh... and just in case you forgot... I'M GAY!! Don't worry if you DO forget, because I'll remind you again tomorrow!

Tell me, are there any benefits to signing up at this time?

I'm talking about price club memberships, time shares, discounts on dry cleaning, movie tickets.

That sort of thing.

I should let you know that I'm not really looking to buy today...

Or do they both have to be white?

LESBIAN NATIONAL HEADQUARTERS. A woman is sitting at a desk. Susan and Ellen are there.

SUSAN
Here she is!

MELISSA ETHERIDGE
OK, Ms. Morgan, I have just one question for you: Are you gay?

ELLEN
Yes, yes I am.

MELISSA ETHERIDGE
So you sign right there.

She hands Ellen a stack of forms which Ellen signs.

MELISSA ETHERIDGE
And sign here. And here.

ELLEN
Wow, I didn't know it was so complicated.

MELISSA ETHERIDGE
Congratulations!
Susan! There is your toaster oven!

(puts a Krups toaster oven in front of Susan)

SUSAN
Oh thank you so very much!

:rofl: That's perfectly OK, as you well know. :hi:

what colour is his parachute? :shrug:

Kyan-hater. :cry:

Wow. I didn't know that. Well congratulations.

I kept hearing about some agenda.

Thanks for giving me the heads-up! (no pun intended) ((really))

:rofl:

Being gay myself, I'm TOTALLY into gayness - I look forward to your daily gay threads.:thumbsup:

:rofl:

Man, ya learn something new every day.

Gay? Really? Wow.

Are there dues? And if so, can me and my boyfriend get a couple's discount?

furniture? Meow !!!!!!!!

And it starred Joan Collins and Linda Evans!

Conquerer of the Desert.

You're just trying to be stylish because getting the crap knocked out of you by bigoted homophobes is so much fun.

Springfield Gay Pride Parade: We're HERE! We're QUEER! Get Used to It!


Lisa Simpson: You do this every year. We are used to it.



:pals: :bounce: :)

I never would have guessed....

Where's my toaster?

And you better make it a big one because I have 5 little kids who need some carbs in the morning.

What else do I get?

Some Green Stamps? A discount card for restaurants and dry cleaners in my neighborhood?

Next you'll probably try to turn me atheist! :rofl:

:sarcasm::rofl::sarcasm::rofl:

Wouldn't that piss off the fundies. :rofl:

I've been to the Castro. They have an ice cream parlor that sells gay porn.

Khashka said so. :D

Mostly because you're an all-round good-egg.

:bounce:

delete

Not really... just thought that would be fun to type. Sounds defensive, don't it? :D

:rofl:

I call bullshit.


:hide:











:hi:
nice post, actually.

The things you learn in this place.

They will be so surprised.....

:rofl:

I would never have guessed that, not in a brazillion years. arwalden gay?! Next thing you know, Bush** will turn out to have the IQ of tree sap... uh, wait a minute...

<< Well, cut my legs off and call me Shorty! >>

:spray:

Other than you, the only other person I've ever heard use that expression was a character in "The Thin Man Goes Home".

how long you've been happy?

:hi:

:hi:

I would have never known.

How about them kiwis?

Thanks... actually it's only marginally "great", but still it's fun to see those recommendations. :hi:

(Unfortunately, even though you can vote for lounge posts, they are exempt from being on the greatest page. I think.)

My 14 year old nephew (evangelical school student) was right. You are ALL trying to convert us!
:scared:

that they actually believe that everyone is gay, and that if they are not; they are either in the closet, or just haven't realized it yet for whatever reason...one is so gay that he feels that the food @ Fuzio's in The Castro tastes better than the food @ any given Fuzio's anywhere else, that the Muni to The Castro (any Muni from any point in the city when it goes to The Castro it should be stipulated) is the 'magical mystery Muni', etc...

6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of homo breeding gulags where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed (du jour)"

You have to get to the gym at 6am every day?? :rofl:

I don't tend to make it to the gym at 6 each morning - I suppose I must be straight after all...time to go and leer at some scantily clad women I suppose, whilst groping myself and losing my ability to co-ordinate clothes. :shrug:

notices that his tie is clashing with his shirt

:blush:

so that mine would clash - but he just looked at me in an odd manner. I don't think that he gets my new-found straightness.

:hi:

any time you want :blush:

... but only if you will continue to wear the top hat and tails. (Nice!) :hi:

But if I can bring my crop and paddles...

I'm going to stop here lest I get this thread locked!

:hi: back at ya