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Need to scatter ashes (human friend) Anyone here with experience?

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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:34 PM
Original message
Need to scatter ashes (human friend) Anyone here with experience?
It looks like if it is on public land, we will need to get a permit or at least let someone know we are doing it. There seems to be rules for National Parks about distance from roads and paths. Does anyone here have any experience? If we apply for the permit, how long does it take to get approved?

Trudy
www.pryorsplanet.com
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:37 PM
Response to Original message
1. It's better to ask forgiveness than permission.
Do what you want to do, where you want to.

Just make sure you can open the vessel easily. We had a copper box that was impossible to open. We took our friend's dad out to the desert he loved.
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Rockstone Donating Member (633 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
2. Check the wind before you scatter
my only advice...
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Wcross Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:40 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. The big Lebowski.........n/t
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Cha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #5
11. Right~Ergo~
"Check the wind before you scatter" :)
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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #5
18. Yeah...I remember that. LOL! We will watch the wind direction!
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:57 PM
Response to Reply #2
14. Had that happen to a friend too
DEFINITELY check the wind.
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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #2
25. Indeed.
my kitties ashes blew back right in our faces. We decided she didn't want to leave us. :)
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karlrschneider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:39 PM
Response to Original message
3. We have done this several times, never asked anyone for permission.
And would have done it anyway.
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cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:39 PM
Response to Original message
4. Don't ask, don't tell
We spread my parent's ashes in a river. We didn't bother to ask or tell any one other than those present. What the government doesn't know won't hurt them.
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:43 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. Took ashes of my uncle to the end of the Long Pier at Coney Island
without permit, without permission, AND past sign advising not to bring "hazardous materials" onto the Pier, AND police checking my backpack. I was able to scatter his ashes off the pier, down to the ocean on the Sunday of Fourth of July, and then went to Nathans to celebrate his life.

My advice: Just do it.
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cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:50 PM
Response to Reply #7
12. Yeah, what are they gonna do,
Can they make you gather the ashes up and take them somewhere else? Would they bust the grieving family members for littering?

You're right, just do it!
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hedgehog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:42 PM
Response to Original message
6. Going by what I've read, be prepared for the fact that what you're dealing with
is not a pile of soft ashes but more a gritty, sandy substance. The cremains will not melt into the ground upon contact with water nor will they automatically sink if sprinkled on water. Maybe someone with more experience can offer further advice about what to expect and how to disperse the cremains.
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ashling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:45 PM
Response to Original message
8. We scattered the ashes of Mom, Dad, and kid brother
My mom died of cancer in 1973. My dad kept her ashes for 25 years. My little brother died of AIDS in 1997. My Dad died in 1998.

My older brother and I mixed theri ashes and scattered them near a spot in the mountains where we used to camp when we were kids. We did not get a permit, though it may or may not have been in a National Forest. It was in a place that had been dear to all of us.
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dddem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:46 PM
Response to Original message
9. My friend's brother is a park ranger
He says people do it all the time.
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rasputin1952 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:48 PM
Response to Original message
10. My advice...
Just spread the ashes where the family wants. If someone gives you grief, take to heart that you have done what was wanted, and it's no one elses's business anyway, as long as you don't interfere with someone physically.

Besides, once the ashes are gone, where is the proof you did anything anyway?

O8)

This will bring closure to the familiy and friends and it is a respectful thing to do...Peace to all those who participate or knew the individual.
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Shipwack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:51 PM
Response to Original message
13. Just in case you do get stopped, have you certificate with you...
The one that authorizes you to be transporting cremains. The funeral home that cremated my father gave me mine. Or maybe that's jsut an Indiana thing.

What kind of vessel are you transporting your friend in? If it's a concern, bring along a small brush or organic cloth to remove every last bit. They sell bio-degradable urns, that will disolve in water (proably pricey, though).

Also, I'll reiterate from above, check the wind direction. Both burial-at-seas my sub did were marred by failure to take that simple precaution.
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 02:59 PM
Response to Original message
15. See The Big Lebowski
for a primer on scattering ashes
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 03:00 PM
Response to Original message
16. Easier to get forgiveness than permission. Are you having some huge
noticable cerimony? Don't worry, be ignorant. You are following some loved ones wishes.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 03:00 PM
Response to Original message
17. Be prepared...
...it's not like it is on television. I don't know how to say this without being graphic, so I'll just say it...so you will be more prepared than I was.... sometimes there are small bone fragments. I wish someone had explained that to me before...

Sorry, I know it sounds awful (as it is). Just wanted to give you a little warning about that.
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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 03:15 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. I am prepared, but will also prepare my friends.
I just read the process because I was curious as to what happens to the bones. (Sorry if this gets to graphic). Working as an EMT volunteer years ago, I know that they don't turn to ashes.

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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
19. Here are the regs from one NM park
*

The remains to be scattered must have been cremated and pulverized.
*

The scattering of remains by persons on the ground is to be performed at least 100 yards from any trail, road, developed facility, or body of water.
*

The scattering of remains from the air is to be performed at a minimum altitude of 2000 feet above the ground.
*

No scattering of remains from the air is to be performed over developed areas, facilities, or bodies of water.
---------------

Thanks for reminding me to Google this stuff. As soon as my vision improves enough for me to make the trip, I'll be scattering my folks up in the mountains.
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astonamous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. I think we will just do it....
There will only be three of us at the most and won't draw any attention. I will check the container to make sure it opens easily and check the wind.

After all is said and done, I will post how it went.

I think I want my ashes scattered off Dead Horse Point. I am terrified of the edge and looking over.

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Raine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 04:20 PM
Response to Original message
22. I'm glad you asked this and
glad to read the responses. At some point I have to scatter the remains of a friend in the mountains and had no idea how to go about it.
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Crabby Appleton Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 04:33 PM
Response to Original message
23. We just went ahead and did it with my mom
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 04:40 PM
Response to Original message
24. Contact the Neptune Society
They know this stuff.

http://www.neptunesociety.com/
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lumberjack_jeff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 07:39 PM
Response to Original message
26. We buried my mother in law's ashes in some gardens she was fond of...
Along with the ashes, we were required to bury a little steel nameplate identifying who they belonged to.

In the unlikely event they were dug up someday, it would preclude a call to the cops.
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Blue_In_AK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-03-06 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
27. My brother dropped our mom and dad's ashes
out of a small airplane flying over the front range of the Chugach Mountains east of Anchorage, the mountains they could see from their living room. I don't know if he had to have a permit or not -- the pilot was a friend of the family.
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