My own war on Christmas, or how I scared the beejebies out of my kid

First, about me. I'm an atheist, but grew up rather fundie. I never really rejected my upbringing so much as I grew in a different direction, therefore I'm not angry at Christianity and think it's a wonderful religion. Not trying to start a debate on that, just explaining where I'm coming from.

So Saturday my seven year old daughter and I were touring the Christmas lights in central Texas, and in the fun little town of Marble Falls (once home to Salam bin Laden--Usama's older brother and former W Bush business investor), we toured a walk-of-lights display set up along the local lake. Very pretty and fun. Near the end they had a display of the empty cross, draped with a cloth, and several angels around it, heralding. I mentioned, somewhat bemused, that that should be an Easter display, and that it seemed sad to celebrate Jesus's death on the celebration of his birth.

My seven year old had no idea what I was talking about, and I realized that she had no idea who Jesus was or any of the Christmas story. She's heard the name, of course, but not much else. I remember her telling me recently about one of her friends, a boy who I assume is Hindu from his name and country of origin, asking her who Jesus was, and her not being able to answer.

So, since I'm a bit of an afficianado of religions in general, and since the whole Jesus story is such a part of our culture--like it or not--I told her the story of Jesus, in rather abreviated form, leaving off all the disclaimers like "historians believe this" or "the scientific evidence says..." I told it basically the way a believer would tell it, with the beginning disclaimer that it wasn't what I believed. I told her the full story of Jesus's birth, from the epiphany to the slaughter of the innocents (playing that aspect down), and then, because of the cross we had seen, I gave an abreviated account of his life, then explained how he was crucified, and then that he rose from the dead on Easter. I told it basically the way I had learned it at her age.

I was rather proud of my telling, actually, because she had listened to the whole story, and asked a couple of questions, so I knew she was listening. I felt good that I had educated my daughter, and that she would now be able to understand what her church-going friends talked about, but that I hadn't preached the story to her, nor told it in a way that would make her reject it. It was a neutral telling, respectful to the story and to believers, without being an indoctrination.

So a little later we passed another nativity display, and I pointed it out to her, and she turned away, and in her precocious voice that gets annoying but is still adorable, she informed me that she never wanted me to point out the baby Jesus again. "Every time I see that now, I'll have nightmares about them sticking a spear in his side to make sure he's dead."

Sigh. That really wasn't my intention! I just told the story the way I learned it as a kid. I never really thought of how scary it would be to someone who hadn't grown up in that culture. So I accidentally struck a blow against Christmas, even though my intentions were honest!

Poor kid:rofl:

Actually, mine goes to Catholic school since it was the only local school that offered full day kinder and she just kept going. She asked me last night why girls can't be priests (she is 7 too). I told her to take it up with the principal.

Being raised Catholic, I never thought twice about the stories and customs behind Christianity, but I could imagine how an outsider (especially a child) would be a little unsettled by it. The whole crucifixion and the eating of the flesh and drinking of the blood during Communion tend to be a little on the macabre side.

Your story kind of reminds me of something my little cousin said when she was around your daughter's age or maybe a little younger. We were at a baptism ceremony and she was sitting a little further down the pew from me when she turned to her mom and asked "Mommy, why is that guy hanging on that T"? I had to try very hard to contain my laughter because I guess that statement proved how much my family got away from the church...within the next few months, my aunt enrolled her in CCD classes...lol

until we get to see them through someone seeing it for the first time. I was raised Catholic, so I learned all this before I was old enough to think about it. It is pretty gruesome, though.

I keep trying to explain to my daughter that it's a beautiful story, full of hope, but all she can see is that spear stabbing that poor man in the side. Forget that he came back from the dead! There's still that spear! :rofl:

lol

I think Jack Sparrow is more her taste in divinity so far. Though she gets scared in scenes there, too!

In my mind, a person's spiritual beliefs should be something they themselves ponder and consider and decide upon, not something that they carry just because their parents were of that religion (or lack of same).

Although I don't believe any of it, I explained different beliefs to my children and we had some really great discussions about theology, none of which included me poo-pooing any of it but rather talking about similarities and differences while acknowledging that I myself didn't subscribe to any of it.

As they got older, they explored beliefs themselves and my oldest daughter decided in her teen years that Catholicism fit with what she felt, my younger daughter is more of a Deist and my son has a basic and rather bland general belief in the Christian theology. I support them all in their spiritual ponderings and don't feel we have to agree on any of it. It's personal.

So I think it's good that you told the story in a neutral way and let her make her own judgment. :thumbsup:

:rofl:

Sounds like we have similar parenting philosophies. I imagine we would horrify the folk at Free Republic. Which deserves a :toast: