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I'm not sure what inspired this particular rant, but I think it was in an email dialogue with a group of good friends and fellow ranters, one of whom likely used the phrase "A car in every garage" during a political discussion - we had a lot of those discussions in 2001, after Shitface was assigned to us as our "President". I do know that at the time I wrote this (May, 2001) I had been doing a LOT of flying around the country in the past year, and had more coming up, and was sick and fucking tired of the bullshit of air travel and the general character of the majority of flyers - and that was pre-9-11. This is a pretty good rant, I think, with a lot of early indicators of the Rabrrrrrr style, though I apparently didn't think to finish it - or else had a very poor idea of how an ending should go. There really was no conclusion to it. Maybe I meant as a long-winded rhetorical question.
Here it is:
I'm thinking of that statement (A car in every garage), and how it's the worst possible idea, ecologically speaking. Not only has the dream of a car in every garage been done, we're at the point where a president (we will wait until we have one who can form a thought and speak it) will need to say "A garage around every car" as a sign of actual prosperity, since apparently anyone now can own a car, just like, as I judge in my many travels, any poor uncultured SOB can now afford air travel, with their boorish, arcane, noisy, stinky, inappropriately dressed ways making air travel even more unpleasant than it is naturally. I'm beginning to think that train travel, in a sleeper car, is the best way to travel, since the price of that kind of travel is high enough that one need not worry about the common filth infiltrating one's space with their walkmans, unclever banter, body smell, smelly foods, noisy paper rattling, t-shirt wearing, baseball hat wearing, eat with their mouths open and talk loudly with their mouths full so the whole area can hear both chewing and conversation, can't sit still in a chair, four-million-carry-on having ways.
Do you all remember when travel used to be pleasant? When you could get on an airplane, and not have to fear that the unwashed masses and the polyester-and-lime-green-sweatsuit-wearing midwestern sight-seeing elderly who become panic stricken at the site of an overhead bin, let alone trying to jam their overstuffed purses, camera bags, stupid little jackets they had tied around their waists, flower printed sweatshirts, and 20 pounds of travel snacks into said bin while they hold up everyone behind them because they got on the plane in the first wave even though they're in row 10, have bought 80% of the flight?
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