Mild rant: Dealing with blabbermouth boss - I'm conflicted

I worked from home for a week because of the vandalism damage to our house 2 weeks ago, and the s.o. didn't want to stay home alone with a huge broken window right at the front of the house (understandable). I sent out a generic email of "working from home due to personal business/sickness/unforeseen circumstances" to my workgroup, and send my boss an email marked CONFIDENTIAL telling her that I wasn't telecommuting for foolish reasons, that we were the victims of an attempted home invasion/break-in/vandal attack, and to PLEASE not discuss this with anyone else.

A couple of days later, I was on a conference call, and the tech lead came on the call before anyone else, so it was just the two of us on the phone. He asked me how everything was, then told me how terrible what happened was and how sorry he was. I replied very vaguely and kept my temper in check.

Now here's where it gets complicated: I haven't discussed what really happened with ANYONE else in the department - I was on vacation this past week and I've spent a grand total of 30 minutes in the office in the last 2 weeks. My boss, who telecommutes with the tech lead and her brother-in-law, is the only one who could have told the tech lead what was going on. I'm sure the BiL knows as well.

I have an opportunity to apply for a job in the same department that would get me a two-step promotion and a sizeable raise if I get it. I don't have much of a choice because the s.o. is unemployed and has to stay unemployed until the final disposition of our bankruptcy case. I hate the place where I work, and I can't wait to get out of there, but I'm stuck.

I know better than to shoot my mouth off to my boss (or HR) before the job posting is done and the candidate selected, but I'd really like to nail her for discussing my personal life with anyone after I EXPLICITLY asked her not to. There were no work or professional reasons why she needed to tell anyone. My job is such that I can do all of it from a remote location, and most of the time nobody can tell whether I'm in the office or not anyway.

Do I bust her to HR over this? Before I do, I'd have some other work lined up in case it ended badly for me.

I'm open to suggestions.

</end mild rant>

I know you feel that your privacy has been invaded and I really sympathize with you. I loathe stuff like that. On the other hand, it sounds like your boss and colleagues feel sympathetic toward your situation (as they should), so maybe it'd be best to let this pass for now, or to speak privately with your boss now and report the situation to HR as part of your exit interview when you find another job. :hug:

I'm so sorry to hear about the vandalism, friend. Hug to you and the crew. :hug: :hug:

Some of my colleagues, however, are forever on the lookout for stuff they can hold over you.

The whole broken window thing wouldn't have been nearly as bad if it hadn't taken almost a week to get fixed (an even longer story). We basically didn't sleep that week.

:hug:

She should not have discussed it after you asked her not to, but I fail to see what the big deal was???
It's not as if she was talking badly about you.
Why the need to be so secretive?


And why would you want to report someone to HR that was obviously concerned about you?

It really looks like it is you going over the top on this one.

It's dumb on BOTH of your parts. You for trying to keep it secret (I don't get why you needed it to be kept so, if the police were involved it is a matter of public record anyway) and her for telling anyone.




Sorry, you asked.

for privacy. Maybe, after while after you've cooled off your could talk to her about how this made you feel.

Document everything that has occurred up until now and then continue to do that, be specific and mark down dates and times, documenting all interaction with each person involved in this.

HR should be your last avenue, considering how they tend to mark everyones record, even the complainant.

Document that she did something dumb? Not illegal, not life threatening, not job threatening...not anything that will harm the employee at all.

It's not like she told everyone he cheated on his wife, or was being treated for herpes.

Oy- some people are very very into creating drama.

She did something DUMB. He should talk to her directly and leave it at that.

Yes I suggest it be documented just in case it doesn't end at this and documentation is needed down the line and as you should know we never know what is going on in her mind . However, this isn't about you so feel free to not take the advice :).

:shrug:

Who gets so upset about something so meaningless?

She did a dumb thing. He should talk to her directly and move on.

Are quite likely to talk about major things that should be kept confidential. He specifically asked her to keep it between them - it doesn't matter why. She did not. That puts her in the wrong and opens up the possibility of her behaving indiscreetly in a more important matter.

I would be angry, too. It's inappropriate workplace behavior.

ANGRY?

Over that?


I guess I'm just a calmer person. It seems awful silly to get so upset over something so minor.
It was a stupid lapse in judgement. If she's done it before over MAJOR things, then she should have been reported before.

If you can get so wound up when other people don't agree with your assessment of a situation. Jesus, let it go. The OP asked for opinions - you offered yours, we offered ours.

And take hostages!! I feel NOT SO CALM!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh




:rofl:

...REALLY can't resist blabbing big ones.

At a minimum, the OP needs to stop sharing any info with
this boss that isn't intended to be public knowledge.

I pretty much knew what was going to happen, but I told her in order to cover my own butt in case she decided to axe me on the grounds of "not in the office for no reason even though all the work is getting done".

At one level, I'm disappointed more than anything else, but I'm getting tired of not being able to trust anybody outside my immediate family. :(

And that company sucks.

and not just towards me. She says one thing to your face, then turns around and plants a knife in your back.

I'll probably just mention it to HR on my way out. I really don't want to blow things out of proportion, but this is just the latest incident.

I don't understand?

The s.o. had to be unemployed long enough for the unemployment benefits to run out. We now meet the requirements of the means test, which basically state that if you make just enough money to survive and have $100 left over every month, you don't qualify to file under Chapter 13.

or the new laws.

The new laws are so stacked against consumers, it boggles the noodle. :(