Novocaine and pearls of wisdom from my mother-in-law...

:rofl: Yeah, it's been a fun day. :P I have today, tomorrow, and Friday off from work (because I needed a break). Mr. NWC is out of town at a convention with a friend of his, so I have the house all to myself until Saturday afternoon. :D (I wonder what naughtiness I can get into later??? :evilgrin:)

Today, though, was loads of fun. :P First, I had a dental appt. to start the work for the crown I needed after I broke a molar. :yoiks: That took two hours at the dentist, and it wasn't fun. Even with all the painkillers they injected, they still had to inject more later because I could feel the drill. :scared: When I left there, the right lower part of my face was dead. My in-laws live about five miles from my dentist, so like an idiot, I agreed to stop by there "just for a minute" to look at some clothes my sister-in-law had left with them for me to try on. I took my drooling self by there after the dentist, and my MIL proceeded to have me try on every garment (and there were a LOT) so she could criticize me. I thought I was just stopping by for a minute, as she promised... but NOOOO.... she came up with the following pearls of wisdom:

1) "Well, you should really lose weight in your bust. That'll help this shirt fit better." No, MIL, I won't---I like my bust as is, and that shirt was from hell. :P

2) "Stop taking antibiotics. They're giving everyone staph infections." WTF? :wtf: OK, that was a total non sequitur....

3) "I gave John Edwards good advice, and he didn't listen to me." This had nothing to do with the clothing I was trying on, but according to her, she told him how he should do things in Washington when he became Senator, and for some unknown reason, Edwards didn't listen...not unlike her son, Mr. NWC... :rofl:

4) "Long skirts are in these days." Uh, no, MIL, that particular style went out with the horse and buggy... :rofl: Ones that drag the ground with six inches of material are not exactly in. And don't tell me I can have it altered. The skirt sucks, and no alterations will help that.

5) "Eggplant is really your color!" Uh, no, MIL, eggplant or any other shade of purple or burgundy makes me look like death warmed over.

6) "Anybody I know who doesn't lose weight will not be allowed at my funeral." :yoiks: So if I don't lose weight in my bust, I can avoid your funeral? Well, I might just have to get a boob job if that's the case...:rofl:

And this was even more fun because my face and jaw were numb, I was drooling (it was unavoidable :(), I couldn't talk well, and I only got two nice pieces of clothing out of about 78 that I was ambushed into trying on. :yoiks: "Just a minute" turned into almost three hours. Next time she asks me to come over for "just a minute", I have something else to do. ANYTHING else to do. :rofl:

How, short of surgery, would one go about doing that? Do 100 boob-ups every day? :shrug:

your butt pop out to make them look smaller :shrug:

:spray: :rofl:

:rofl: But I think the 100 boob-ups idea is promising... :P

And I'm NOT doing the Bust Reduction Weekly World News Diet just because she wants me to fit into a butt-ugly shirt I'd never be caught dead wearing. :P

"Webber! You kissing my pinball machine?!"

"No! I'm doin' lip-ups!"

"Oh. I thought you doing something weird."

:D

:rofl: Those Happy Days.... :P

:hi:

What I really want to know is...just how many of us had crown preps done at the dentist yesterday? There was at least philboy, New Wave Chick, and me, and Lefty Mom also had a dental procedure.

I should look to see if he's listed it on ebay yet.

:hug: :P Maybe I should list my temporary crown on ebay once the actual one is ready. :rofl:

Daily boob-ups are essential...:rofl:

I think there were at least five of us who had dental problems all at the same time...Not sure of the others, but I hope we're all doing better now. :)

:rofl:

You should get a DUzy!

:rofl: :hi:

the way you tell the story of your MIL is funny as shit. thanks for the laughs. :bounce:

You're welcome! :rofl: She's certifiable, but somehow my FIL thinks all of this is "normal". :shrug:

:shrug: maybe he's just put her comments permanently on "ignore" so he really has no idea what she says. :rofl:

:P :rofl: He's pretty clueless anyway, so it wouldn't surprise me.

or maybe it's just self preservation on his part! ;-)

B-)

BTW, check your PMs!

:hi: :D Checking now....:)