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I like cats but they do eat some pretty gross stuff. I am wondering what a cooking show by cats for cats would be like...
FADE IN Rachel Tabby works at the prep table. We see those puppet paws that they use in cat food commercials gesturing wildly while she explains. The soundtrack is various meows and cat noises while subtitles appear at the bottom of the screen.
RT: Today I'm going to show you how to make some RSC, really stinky chow, in 30 minutes or less using freshly semi-rotted ingredients.
PAN OF TABLE: various beautiful ingredients fresh vegetables, strawberries, grapes, noodles, etc. Then RT's paw pushes all of these aside and grabs the garbage bowl instead.
RT: First let's raid the garbage bowl... hmmm plenty of good stuff in here. Humans eat all the parts with no odor and put the good stuff in here...
CU paw pulls items from garbage bowl.
RT: raw chicken liver and gizzards -- Dee-lish! and the head from a brook trout -- awesome!
Puppet paw arranges these on cutting board.
RT: I will chop these together... (chopping) and plate them (paw pushes them into bowl).. now we just need the perfect garnish...
WIDE SHOT - Rachel Tabby listens for a few seconds to a noise we can't hear and then darts under the kitchen sink. SFX: pans crashing, cat attack noises
RT emerges from under the sink, smiling widely with a bug in her mouth.
RT: The perfect fresh garnish, GGWB, giant gross water bug.
Paw place bug on top of chicken and fresh head mixture.
RT samples her work.
RT: Yum-oh! See you really can make RSC in under 30 minutes! See you next time.
FADE OUT
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