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Edited on Tue Jul-24-07 10:34 PM by smalll
You got it. Why in hell don't these girls have chauffeurs? Why don't they just ride in the back of limos (or stretch hummers) 24/7?
Here's the answer: it would cost a lot, even for them.
To start with, you'd have to make the man a "live in" chauffeur -- La Lohan's driver couldn't live in his own little house or apartment -- the paparazzi would just follow HIM out of his home to get to Lindsay. He would have to live in the Lohan Compound. And to be honest, I don't know how well an extra servant would fit there: I remember reading when Paris got out of jail for a few days that she would spend house arrest at her Beverly Hills "mansion" which was reported as 2,700 square feet! Think about that, you could fit more than TEN of Paris Hilton's "mansions" into John Edwards' house! Real estate is expensive out in Hollywood!
Secondly, given the late hours that celebutante clubbing entails, you would have to pay for two, not just one, on-site chauffeurs, to make sure that someone is always legally awake to take her wherever she wants to go.
The greatest expense, however, would come from the huge amounts you would have to pay your driver not to tip off the paparazzi as to La Lohan's location, and to keep mum about everything he sees: what dude did Lindsay have sex with last night in the back seat? How much coke did she ingest? Such stories would be worth tens of thousands; photos of such would be worth millions. Lindsay would have to pay through the nose for that. Christmas bonuses and all. And you would have to pay for the kind of loyalty that even the Queen doesn't get from her children's nannies. What about the discreet driver who finally moves on? Imagine the book he could write (or ghost-write, or source at least.)
Sure she should have the driver, but I blame her management, who HASN'T "enabled" her enough: she's making the millions: it's worth it to pay the big bucks to the absolutely-loyal, live-in chauffeurs she requires.
And since I'm on a Lohan-defending whimsy here, let me say this to the nay-sayers who tut-tut about her "destroying her life" and being on the road to death: take a look at that mug shot of her on Drudge. Go back and take a look at that pic of her from a couple of months ago passed out in her car the day after that earlier DWI: goddammit, she looks FAR more hot and healthy than 99.9% of the rest of us do on our best days: she's not on the verge of death, friends. And this is yet another reason we should appreciate Lindsay: just as we talk about the big three amongst Democratic candidates, Celebunation has its own big three: Paris, Britney and Lindsay. Sure, they're all hot girls. But I contend that only Lindsay is megastar-hot enough to deserve her megastar status. If Britney was a nobody like the rest of us and you saw her walking down the street, you'd think "meh" -- better than average, nothing special. If you saw unknown-Paris walking down the street, she might strike your eye, but her anorexic/chicken-leg issues, plus her less than classically beautiful face would dissuade you from delclaring undying love. Only Lindsay would strike us as superhot even as an unknown; only she lives up to the glamor hype.
She just needs a handler who can suck it up and budget for the undeniably expensive transportation personnel that Lindsay needs. They haven't been enabling her enough, is what I say!
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