One-time physical experiences with friends.... your thoughts?

I've slept with a couple friends over the years. Only once did it go sour. And we just took a few months break from each other (Cause, truth be told, we couldn't STOP sleeping together but didn't wanna be in a relationship). Other than that, it's never really had any effect. I remember once the girl and I actually watched a movie on the couch the next night like nothing had ever happened. That was weird.
Funny story, that same girl.... dated my friend rob and this other guy Jay we know. One night we were hanging with her current boyfriend and he made some comment about her being good in bed and says, "You guys have NO idea."

There was an awkward silence... buddy had no idea every guy he'd just said that to had slept with her at least once!

but it's never ended weird for me

with most of the women it ended our friendship.

with men, it didnt seem to matter

Most girls I know can sleep together and be fine with it.

there is a qualifier to this, but i dont know if i want all of du to know :)

But, also, why do you think that is? Is it just cause maybe the girls you slept with happened to want more? Or is it something else?

whereas most of my male friends, know that i dont really have long relationships with men.

My friend, Mindy, and I have resolved to giver a shot one time. Cause neither of us wants a relationship and neither is foolish enough to tie emotion to sex. Unless there is, of course, emotion first. So, I know I needn't worry about anything.

Not qualifying that one either, but yep.

I sure hope that's going to be a one-time thing, anyway.

I think the key is that everyone knows what the parameters are, that its not the beginning of some major romantic relationship but just a one-time offshoot of a cool friendship.

the missus :hide:

No physical experience threads.

Ya mother physical experiencer!

With my roommate, things were never the same. With my guy friends... eh... no biggie.

Mostly because we were always like minded people as most people living together should be. The two of us would find ourselves at home at the same time on a weekend with nothing to do...why not have a little bit of fun ;-)

And not that is was a problem for us, but each time it happened with the two different roommates, the two of us were in our own separate relationships so I guess we weren't being very nice.

Provided nothing weird happens during the act that changes your feelings about that person (always a risk). But if anyone is lying about being okay with just casual when what they're hoping for is the kind of casual that leads to...more than that, everyone is screwed.

Just my $.02.

Maybe him having a girlfriend had something to do with it. On the otherhand, I had never really "liked" him until we had sex. After that, I couldn't act normal around him. Ifelt guilty, but at the same time and a new extra strong attraction towards him. That was an even bigger problem since he had a girlfriend that he was hiding the fact from. It happened towards the end of the college.
The next year, he purposely avoided me, even after I statred seeing someone else.
I'm married now, but for the most part, any friend who I would have considered sleeping with, I already saw as potential dating material. If I didn't seeing my male friend as potential dating material, it was because I had no physical attraction towards him or saw him like my brother and sleeping with him would have felt weird.

So I would have to say no.

I've been in just about every sexual situation imaginable. There's a time and a place for almost anything.

Now I'm an old married fart who is overweight and has a bad hip.

Sigh.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6907724

:hide:

that could indulge in the horizontal bop without overwhelming fears of pregnancy, disease, censure and death. Being cosmopolitan, liberal and in NYC was also an advantage. I had what we referred to then as "fucking buddies."

Mine were first and foremost GOOD FRIENDS. 35 years later we still check in with each other. It was uncomplicated, I learned SO MUCH about men being from Mars cuz we were open with each other. Got lots of really excellent advice and protection when I was infatuated. I also learned that if my buds reacted badly to a new flame it was best to DUMP HIM. QUICK.

There were rules, of course, like if your buddy hooked up and tried to cheat with you THAT was a NO GO. And NO FLAUNTING around his new main squeeze cuz THAT was simply tasteless, classless, counterproductive and unnecessary.

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We lived the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way...

Now if my friends were European, then my answer would be yes.

I've slept with friends and had it end our friendship right away, and others where it didn't change a thing.

IMHO, in a het relationship, it mostly depends on how the two people see sex. I always just saw sex as something fun to do, which happened to be a little more fun with someone you cared about. When I slept with women who saw things the same way, we had no problems.

But many people (not to be sexist, but mostly women) see sex as a physical expression of something deeper, and cannot separate sex from love and caring. The LAST time I slept with a female friend, it ended with a conversation something like this. Her: "But we made love! I thought you cared about me! Didn't last night mean anything to you?" Me: "No"

I'm not a prick, but I was under the impression that we were just friends and that the sex was just for fun. She was under the impression that we were "taking it to the next level". It wasn't a pleasant situation, it ended a three year friendship, and was the last time I slept with a friend.

I guess the most important thing is to be absolutely sure you're both on the same page BEFOREHAND. Talk to the friend about it before you do anything and ensure that you both have the same expectations. There are few things worse than realizing that you've irreparably hurt a friend simply because you made a bad assumption.

Or other personal items in the moving experience that life is.

Much heavy lifting.

No, no sex.