So I was having a great day lazing around when some sissy jackoff calls me to arrest another jackoff

Rabrrrrrr

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Wed Sep-12-07 11:16 PM
Original message

So I was having a great day lazing around when some sissy jackoff calls me to arrest another jackoff

He spotted some dickweed pouring paint into the gutter, and instead of being proactive and stopping the paint flow immediately, he prances into his kitchen like a high and mighty momma's boy and calls me to schlep myself all the way over to his neighborhood to arrest the guy dumping the paint; meanwhile, waiting for me to get there, the paint just keeps flowing and flowing and flowing...

For fuck's sake, people, this is why you have a right to own guns. If I do it, there's paperwork, and court time, and fines and blah blah bullshit blah. This could have been solved immediately, with no need for an "investigation".

Stop bothering me, and take care of yourself once in a while.

Geez.

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Prisoner_Number_Six

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Wed Sep-12-07 11:22 PM
Response to Original message

1. Why didn't you tase the moran who called?

I understand that's standard procedure now for those annoying "makework" moments... :shrug:

Teach the guy a lesson, eh? We gotta help each other if it's gonna work.

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Rabrrrrrr

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Wed Sep-12-07 11:23 PM
Response to Reply #1

2. Damn - I didn't even think of that!

I coulda justified a good two or three shots, too.

Damn.

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madrchsod

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Wed Sep-12-07 11:43 PM
Response to Original message

3. punishment to fit the crime?

M4 Tactical Storm Paintball Gun ...
.
that`ll teach`m to dump paint

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flvegan

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Wed Sep-12-07 11:48 PM
Response to Original message

4. So, if I had put a .45 Black Talon in him, there'd be less paperwork for you?

I thought about it, justified it, even sold myself on the idea. My only concern was that my clip only holds 6.

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Kutjara

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Wed Sep-12-07 11:51 PM
Response to Reply #4

5. As long as the crime scene makes it obvious what happened.

So, in the example here, you should make sure the body falls into the paint stream, thereby making it clear that the shooting was punishment for the act of pollution. A little simple consideration for the police makes their job much easier and frees them up to make the streets safer for us all.

Knocking the guy out and pouring the paint down his throat until he drowns would possibly be even better.

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flvegan

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Wed Sep-12-07 11:55 PM
Response to Reply #5

6. I live in Florida. I think

that we can execute folks here for lesser reasons.

Matter of fact, I think that we can "shoot first" if the "falling into the paint stream" sounds like it might hurt a person in the future.

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Kutjara

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Thu Sep-13-07 12:00 AM
Response to Reply #6

7. That's an easy one.

If the paint stream is white or yellow, it could confuse stupid drivers into thinking it's a legitimate road marking, thereby forcing them to crash their cars. The loss of life could be huge, so killing the perpetrator is clearly in the public interest.

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krispos42

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Thu Sep-13-07 04:03 AM
Response to Reply #4

8. More cleanup work, but less paperwork.

Wouldn't want to wash all that biohazard down into the Bay, would we?

This might help. Afte all, anything worth shooting is worth shooting thrice!

http://www.mwgco.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?page=MWG/PROD/COLT_MAGAZINES/NMI-C45-15R

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DS1

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Thu Sep-13-07 05:47 AM
Response to Original message

9. Okay there, Chief Wiggum

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