STBE returned from a trip to the Ukraine and to Germany. I have odd feelings.

He was invited to present one of his papers in Odessa, Ukraine and was honored to accept. Long story short, he was treated like royalty as academics are in Europe. Then he went to Munich where he and I have been a couple times before, and he had a wonderful visit with mutual friends. He returned last night and came over to celebrate my youngest son's birthday with us. We all received gifts.

This is the thing, and it is meaningless but I want to spill it anyway: When he arrived I gave him a long hug and he wouldn't let go. I said quietly, "Lonely?" and he nodded yes. Finally he let go and said, "Let me take a look at you." I was looking damn good so I let him (Kidding! I'm freaking kidding!) Long story short, we had a good day, a good conversation and even talked about his perhaps seeing another woman. For the first time in eighteen months he has removed his wedding ring (which he always wore on his right hand, as Germans do) and replaced it with a silver ring he'd been given years and years ago, by a boyhood friend. My thought: he is finally reconciled and determined to move on. He seems to be very happy, aside from the moment of weakness which we both feel because of our seventeen years together.

Okay, that's it. I guess I feel strange to see him begin to move on, but I also feel happy because I am convinced that the divorce is the best thing for us, and for my kids.

Thanks for listening. It's been a strange and wonderful day. -Lisa

....of course it feels strange. You have a history with this man and there will always be a pull and regret for what was and what could have been. Because of your children your lives will always be meshed in some way.

I think your feelings are quite normal and healthy.

:hug:

to jump back into a bad situation. I won't do it, but damn! Being single is terrifying. Oh well. Thanks!

for whatever reasons

I guess I'm just surprised by the strength of the pull of the past.

:)

moving on is hard, but i know that you two are both in need of that.

:hug:

hang in there

:hi:

:hi: Crim son!

I was wondering who you were on myspace, too. What a freaking idiot I am! Hi, sweetie! :hi: My life is great-ish. At least it's warm and sunny here. What's up with you?

...obviously. Happy here in Texas and I've got a job.

:hug:

It is nice to have closure and to remain friends.
:hug: